Manipulating Perception – Can Image Really Increase Odds?



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 8:47 am 
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/* Slight disclaimer before we start, when first writing this article I was thinking about publishing it on a non pick-up medium, so it's a bit simplified when it comes to seduction & dating (as to not freak out the 'uninitiated' readers). Also, this article is more about theory, than a practical guide.

But I had so much fun talking about style with some of you, that I decided to share it here. Also I can't think of many other ventures other than pick-up (and business) where understanding your image/brand is so important (and traffic I got in return is nice too) */


Have you ever considered why people treat you as they do?

Let’s say you’re in a bar, you’re having good time and notice a woman you might want to take to bed that night. Naturally, you approach her to get to know her better and learn if she’s available/interested.

Everything seems to be going well, she’s happily accepting drinks from you, laughing at your great jokes and even doesn't mind a bit of touching. “Wow, that’s great! I’m sure she’s amazing in bed” and similar thoughts start crossing your mind.

So because everything seems to be going so splendidly you start introducing romance into your interaction, maybe changed your touch, went for a kiss or simply invited her to see your “awesome collection of Simpsons themed t-shirts.”

But something goes wrong, her warm smile gets awkward and her eyes look completely confused.

“Hey, Joe, you’re a nice guy, but I need to go find my friends.” - Just one line and she’s gone.

“What just happened?!” crosses your mind while you just stand there stunned.

Importance Of First Impression

I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept that it takes just moments for people to make the first impression.

From then on, when interacting with another person we don’t really change this first impression but instead by introducing new information (“Oh, you’re a professional sky-diver?”) we make slight changes within the same context.

So if a woman makes a first impression (within moments she notices you) that you’re someone to be friends with, new information about your bad-ass hobby will probably look in her mind something like this: “He’s a friendly guy with a cool hobby.”

To be fair, even though first impressions are ridiculously persistent it is possible to change them by introducing many different contexts.

How People Judge Us

Let’s introduce another piece to this puzzle: when making these first impressions people use selfish “purpose of the receiver” as a primary context, or, in other words, people judge us based on what they need.

For example,

Let’s say a woman is out in a club to find someone who would buy stuff for her. Then her first impressions would put men in categories like “probably doesn't even afford his own drinks”, “someone who could buy me a drink”, “His shoes cost like 500$, I should meet him”.

But what about a woman, who’s out to socialize/meet someone?

Then within moments every man she notices drops into one of the following categories: “Not interested”, “He looks like a good listener”, “Wow, I could totally introduce him to my parents” or “RAVAGE ME!!”

Note: I hope I don’t need to explain the model here is simplified as there are many variables at play and the actual categories vary from person to person.

And yet, rather fascinating how much happens and how much is already decided before even the first words are spoken. Don’t you think?

What About Having Game?

Let’s get back to our original story - what really happened?

For the sake of the argument let’s take away possible excuses like having a boyfriend who’s waiting at home (though I’m sure that by now you know that it’s rarely a major obstacle) or that she forgot to shave her legs.

We are then left with a rather simple story:

A boy notices a girl, a boy wants to have a wild night with the girl, the girl notices a boy, the girl thinks the boy might be fun to be friends with, the boy and the girl have a good time, the boy wants to move forward, the girls not interested in a sexual relationship with the boy. The End.

Now I can hear some of you screaming “he’s got no game!” and that might be true. Game could help improve our Joes story by introducing new context and/or managing purpose of the receiver, but as we learned from the sources above – that can be lot of work. Also, this article is about perception, so for the moment let’s leave it at that.
But what if we could change the first impression, what if we could manipulate her perception from the start, how would our story look like then?

Let’s see:

A boy notices a girl, a boy wants to have a wild night with the girl, the girl notices a boy, the girl finds the boy sexy and would like to have a wild night with the boy, the boy and the girl have a good time, all the while the girl sends signals that she wants to go home with the boy, the boy doesn’t notice the signals and keeps blabbering about his cool hobbies that the girl doesn’t care about, finally the boy offers the girl to come home with him, the girl pretends to think for a while, the girl says “Yes”, the boy and the girl have a passionate night. The End.

Not sure about you, but this story is much more to my liking.

Question comes to mind, how we can adjust the first impression so that we drop into the “RAVAGE ME!” category before we even say our first words.

Manipulating Perception

First, let’s take a step back and think for a second – if it really takes just moments to make the first impression, what variables are actually in play?

• Physical Attractiveness

• Style

• Body Language

Simple as that, from this information alone, people are able to make their first impressions about us, which in turn sets the tone for further interactions.

Take a moment and think about this, it’s rather scary that whether we like it or not and whether we are aware of it or not, we are judged before we even get a chance to make our case. Kind of makes you wonder if you are sending the right signals to the right people, doesn’t it?

But let’s get back to the topic, so what signals we should send if our goal is to make our casual sexual encounters as effortless as possible? And how can we manipulate how others perceive us in order to send them?

Turns out, that there are universal visual features that women highly prefer in men for sexual encounters and short-term dating (just as there are universal visual cues that women prefer in men for long-term relationships)

Physical Attractiveness

• Women prefer taller men for casual sexual encounters, short and long term dating. Because there’s nothing we can actually do about increasing our height it would be nice to think that “size doesn’t matter”, but when we look at the facts, it does, for both relationships and business (on average, taller men earn more money throughout their careers too)

• Ideal male physique for sexual encounters is neither one of a skinny male model that you see on the catwalks, nor one of a professional body-builder. Instead, very one-sidedly women report to prefer men, who are muscular yet thin (think B. Pitt in “Fight Club”)

Women find masculine facial features more sexually attractive (facial symmetry also plays a big part here)

• When it comes to face, women also find men with stubble or short beards more appealing for sexual encounters and short-term dating (clean shave is preferred for long-term relationships). Healthy, clean skin is also plays a big part on how sexually attractive man’s face appears.

The problem with physical attractiveness is that in many cases you either won the gene lottery or you didn’t. We can work on improving our physiques to their optimal level and take care of our skin, but it could take months until we start getting measurable results (worthwhile investment nonetheless).

So if our goal is to change how the world perceives as fast as possible, focusing on improving physique might not be the best approach short-term.

Style

This is where style comes into play.

Remember all those imperfections you have? Height? A slight excess of “goodness” in the torso area? Underdeveloped shoulders and chest?

Luckily, perception and sexual attraction is not an actual contest and nobody cares about objective measurements, only how everything visually appears.

In other words, we can use different clothing to appear taller, more muscular or thinner. Furthermore, we can draw attention to our best features and camouflage the flaws by drawing attention away from them.

And if we actually have the physique that women find sexually attractive, we can emphasize it to make sure we reap all the benefits.

Just to name some basic examples:

• Darker colors will make you look thinner and brighter colors will make you look bigger. So if your actual body composition is pear shaped, considering trying out a black vest with a white shirt underneath.

• V-necks are great for drawing attention to your shoulder/chest area. Are you a shorter, yet very fit guy? Consider wearing a solid color V-neck with a necklace or a pendant, it will draw attention to your superior upper body and away from height.

• Layering can help you make your upper body look more developed. Let’s say you’re a skinny guy, try wearing a fitted tee with horizontal stripes and a brighter jacket/blazer that’s made from thicker material.

However, we also need to note here that when it comes to sexual attraction women prefer masculine men: dominating, rebellious, risk-taking, etc.

So when building your outfit it’s important to show some masculine edge and not look “too nice”. Otherwise, we can easily fall into “you should totally meet my parents” category.

Style won’t make you look like a male model from Cosmo magazine, but if done right, it can help you make the best out of the cards you’ve got to maximize the chances of falling into the right perception category.

Body Language

“What about body language? Surely it plays a major role!” - you might be thinking now.

Yes, it does and yet there’s a problem – when it comes to body language there’s a lot “bro-science” and not that much hard data about what it takes to look sexually attractive to women.

So for this article on perception we’ll stick to the basics:

• First rule of body language – obey the rules of physical attractiveness. Remember all those points several chapters above (height/ideal physique/etc.)? Simply by having a straight posture we will appear taller and our shoulder-to-waist ratio will visually look closer to ideal.

• Second rule of body language – take up your space. You will appear more dominant.

• Third rule of body language – relax. Being tense is very visible in your facial expressions, posture and movements, which is very sexually unattractive.

• Fourth rule of body language – slow down. Nothing screams insecurity more than spastic movements, take your time.

• Fifth rule of body language – remember body-to-mind connection. Your body language affects your thoughts and your thoughts affect your body language (<- great talk, highly recommended). In simplified terms, think sexy to look sexy.

How Do You Want To Be Perceived?

Now that we learned how we can manipulate our image, and in turn, how others perceive us, what are we going to do with this information?

Do you want to be perceived as the sexy guy? The rich one? The funny one?

First and foremost it’s important to understand that even if you choose to build “the sexy image” this is not some “magic-bullet” that can make every woman fall for you – that’s absurd. Instead, it’s about getting early advantage so that before you even begin, part of the work has been already done while you were chilling at the bar and enjoying your drink.

Furthermore, from my own experience I can attest that you can expect to get an extra dose of “hate”: men will hate you for having an unfair advantage, so will women who are unavailable or not interested in sexual encounters. Sexual women, on the other hand, will love you.

On the other hand, there are further benefits that we haven’t covered yet. Our brain tends to be lazy in some ways, so when we make our first impression, our brain notices primary characteristics and makes other assumptions about who the person is.

For example, attractive people are automatically associated with being more responsible and trustworthy, good dancers are automatically associated with being great in bed.

So when your image screams “sex”, people will automatically assume that you sleep around a lot, in turn your interactions will usually begin with the tone already set to sexual. My personal favorite benefit is that I no longer need to have those conversations “what does this mean/where is this going/etc.”

On the other hand, if you can’t stay congruent with this frame (for example, your image screams “sex” and then you start talking how you want to find that perfect girlfriend and settle down), you will get burnt and women will hate you for it – it’s pretty much like lying.

But no worries, science has our backs here too, turns out when we wear an outfit that we associate with particular qualities we are likely to unconsciously assume them and start acting more like it. In other words, if you wear an outfit that you think is sexy, you are more likely to act like a sexual man.

Cheers

So, if you actually had the patience to through the whole article - thoughts/ideas? :)

_________________
Get your free Style Makeover Guide and learn how to build outfits that make you look HOT
Cheers


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