So What Happens After Hello?...



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Tools & Techniques of Game: Meeting, Attracting and Seducing Women » Natural Game




Author Message
PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 7:34 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:38 am
Posts: 6
I have some HUGE mental block which is preventing me from approaching any girls. I went out last night after having prepared some Indirect Openers based on the MM but I simply froze all night.

I'm not a bad looking guy and I'm quite confident in who i am as a person and all so I thought maybe I'll feel more comfortable trying Direct Openers. But i know that once i get out there my excuse will be what do i say after i go up to them and say, "hey i just wanted to meet you guys". Then what?? Awkward silence?

Do I DHV? Neg? I just don't feel like an interesting enough guy for a group of girls to all of a sudden start talking to unless I have some awesome stories to tell. Any advice appreciated, I'm so tired of failing at this without even trying....


Top
   
PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:25 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:07 am
Posts: 79
Yahoo Messenger: battousainn
AOL: slackenbrix
Quote:
I have some HUGE mental block which is preventing me from approaching any girls. I went out last night after having prepared some Indirect Openers based on the MM but I simply froze all night.

I'm not a bad looking guy and I'm quite confident in who i am as a person and all so I thought maybe I'll feel more comfortable trying Direct Openers. But i know that once i get out there my excuse will be what do i say after i go up to them and say, "hey i just wanted to meet you guys". Then what?? Awkward silence?

Do I DHV? Neg? I just don't feel like an interesting enough guy for a group of girls to all of a sudden start talking to unless I have some awesome stories to tell. Any advice appreciated, I'm so tired of failing at this without even trying....

yo snoopy,

I want you to visualize this okay? okay, you're out there having fun, just chilling with people and you're just having a good time. the dudes are just laughing and joking around with you and the girls smile when you check them out and smile at them. you see these cute girls and you're just genuinely interested in meeting them. You're with me right?

now, what is stopping you from doing what you truly desire? you're afraid of the awkwardness of not knowing what to say right? well, why do you have to always know wat to say? Women love to talk, especially about themselves, let them do that! let them talk! you just chill and listen. if you're not talking she would be force to do the talking and you just gotta sit back and listen and respond when YOU wanted to respond. you want to meet new people? well so does those girls. hey you guys have something in common, why not talk about that. as long as you are genuinely interested and you have no agenda of hurting her, manipulating her, or any negative stuff then you're good. she'll accept you. if some girl approached you and she's not that attractive, are you going to be a dick to her? well same thing with those girls, they're going to be courteous and give you a chance to shine. all you gotta do is be a man and lead her. if you lead, she will follow. before you even get there, you gotta believe that you are that guy first and that you gotta be that guy. it's not about the girls, it's about you becoming comfortable with yourself in any situations that you're placed in. once you reached that stage, you won't even give a shit about anything else because you would focus on what's going on at the moment not the bs anxiety that's not even that threatening. don't worry about stories, negs, jokes, or what to say. that's child's play, be a man, be yourself, be authentic. be the best man that you can be, the man that even you would respect and love. be it for yourself and everything else will follow. that way when that girl meets you, she will love you for who you are not love what you say. that's my take on that buddy




- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:45 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:38 am
Posts: 6
Thanks Nelson that's some really great advice. I'll give it a shot tonight.

Here is my feared situation:

Me: "How you goin guys? You guys seem pretty chill so I wanted to say hi"
Them: "Hi, yeah pretty good, how are you?"
Me: "Fantastic. So how do you guys know each other?"
Them: bla blah
Me: "oh awesome"

Pointless banter in which i eventually run out of things to say, awkward silence, "enjoy your night guys" eject.

Fear of this situation for some reason stops me of approaching anyone!

It's ridiculous I really hate myself for feeling it.

Now that I think about it I may even be more scared of them showing interest and actually having to play!


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 7:50 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:07 am
Posts: 79
Yahoo Messenger: battousainn
AOL: slackenbrix
alright snoopy, let me give you another visual.

you: "hey guys, you guys seem pretty chill and I just wanted to say hi, so how are you guys doing?"
them: "we're good, how are you doing?"

they'll probably be laughing, having fun. you just gotta observed what theyre doing and comment about it or you can ask questions.

you: "so what's up? what are you guys up to?"
them: "chilling, having fun, etc. etc."

all you gotta do now is LISTEN to them. listen to their body, their eyes, watch them and really be in the moment. like I said in order to do that, you gotta get out of your head and be comfortable in any situation no matter what. What to say to a girl is not important. you're a human, youre social, you were born with all of the basic abilities to communicate with another being. so talking is not the main problem. You WILL know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it naturally as soon as you're fully in te moment and worrying about what to say. Here is something you can try when you're out and having fun. When you're having fun and you're in the moment, pay attention to how youfeel inside. your thoughts, behaviors, etc.

now go out where all of the cute girls are and pay attention to your internal beliefs and mind when you see them. what type of thoughts pop up, how do you feel etc. and compare it to the time you're having fun. if it's not almost to identical you gotta find a way to make yourself feel that way when talking to women. also when you do decide to talk to them, I suggest you do even though you have this fear of awkwardness, observe the situation and how you feel about it. then see what happens when things get awkward, pay attention to how the girls respond, how YOU respond and how you feel about it.


this will train you to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. get you experiences so that your social skills develop, and you will develop an intuition of how to keep things flowing the next time you talk to women that you are attracted to. try that first and see what happens


- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:46 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 4:33 pm
Posts: 180
Location: Greensburg, PA
Why are you scared of that situation?? Its not in anyway a huge deal...sometimes convos go stale n u excuse urself...it shouldn't be an issue. Just keep approaching until u don't care anymore. What's fun for me is the unknown. I don't wanna know how each sarge will go beforehand. I wanna just ride the wave if that makes sense. Meeting new girls is like a drug...so go snort some hbs already!! Lol

Ok...so here's some tips

U "How do u all know each other?"
Her "we grew up together n this is my roommate"
U "oo that's cool blah blah" n so on from there

U :so what brings u all out tonight
Her: tomorrow is her birthday
U: happy bday how old r u going to be
her: 29
U: oo cool, one more year than I have to stop talking to u ;-)

Just ask things, n get them to open up n tell u their story...I promise they want to.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 1:46 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:38 am
Posts: 6
That's really great guys! that actually helped and i'll remember it!


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:44 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2011 11:52 pm
Posts: 20
One thing I found that really helps is just to comment on everything that's on your mind. If you're cold, say "It's freezing, I'm gonna steal your scarf" and steal it. Even when things are awkward, if you think it's awkward, let it be known "Well, I was hoping we'd break into some epic conversation but okay silence is cool too". Just say whatever comes to your mind and don't worry about offending them, as long as you stay away from sensitive topics like race and ethnicity you'll be fine. How you say things are more important than what you actually say.


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:36 pm 
Offline
Moderator

Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:37 am
Posts: 3276
Quote:
I have some HUGE mental block which is preventing me from approaching any girls. I went out last night after having prepared some Indirect Openers based on the MM but I simply froze all night.

I'm not a bad looking guy and I'm quite confident in who i am as a person and all so I thought maybe I'll feel more comfortable trying Direct Openers. But i know that once i get out there my excuse will be what do i say after i go up to them and say, "hey i just wanted to meet you guys". Then what?? Awkward silence?

Do I DHV? Neg? I just don't feel like an interesting enough guy for a group of girls to all of a sudden start talking to unless I have some awesome stories to tell. Any advice appreciated, I'm so tired of failing at this without even trying....
try just freestyle hitting on girls, dont neg, dont dhv, just walk up, say hi, i came over here to talk to you cause your cute, just be completely honest, say exactly what is on your mind at all time, if you blank out, say, wow im really nervous i can't even think of what to say to you, if they reject you, say wow that was really mean, allways just say what is in your head, don't copy what i just wrote, just say exactly what you are thinking, try it out


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:56 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 30
Location: United Kingdom
Honestly dude, I think you're trying to hard. What's the worst that can happen? She rejects you. I know I don't think less of guys who got rejected. Hell, it takes balls to even make that approach out of nowhere and start a conversation. Your friends will certainly not think less of you for trying your luck. Please, for the love of God don't tell me you're concerned about her opinion of you if she rejects you. So what, if she rejects you she isn't good enough for you anyway.

Sure you have to be interesting, but interesting conversation is spontaneous, it just happens. It's in the moment. There is only so much you can pick up from people here, unfortunately this is on of them things that you have to do by yourself.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:50 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:21 pm
Posts: 17
Snoop, I have the exact same problem! and i was thinking about how to fix it. Here's how i see it: the reason guys like us run out of things to say is because, well, we'retalking to people weve, just met! we have no prior relationship, and unless youre a social whiz or a big talker eventually things may sizzle out. But this can be prevented! thats why puas use stuff like negs: it creates an emotinal connection, albeit negative, and it gives her a reason to keep talking to you, if only to defend her pride. you can also straight up tell her you think shes cute: its a high risk/high reward approach, cuz if she likes you she has an opening to express it and if she doesnt then shell just blow you off. but at least its not awkward cuz you have a reason for talking to her, and even if she doesnt like you she knows you at least have some balls.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:15 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2010 2:02 am
Posts: 10
Location: You Ess and Aye
get out of your head and stop worrying about DHV, negs and all that official PUA procedure. just be yourself. i've walked up to a chick before and said, "excuse me, i don't do this often and i'm a little nervous, but are you single?"
this totally matched my body language, and i wasn't overthinking the right pick up line, i just went with what felt right. and the approach anxiety usually leaves the instant you start talking.

when you have a problem, admit it. nervous about public speaking? admit to it on stage and instantly the fear is gone. afraid of running out of topics when chatting with a hottie? just ask her what she does for fun, duh! that opens up so many roads.

but when all else fails, just say to yourself, "fuck it, i'm going to make an ass of my self and i don't even care"


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:11 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 10
Hey Snoopy,

I agree with Nelson 100%. When you over think things they generally don't work out.

Go out with the intention to just have a good time. When you come with the mid-set of I'm going out to approach every girl and the bar you create a lot of bad vibes. Women are just looking for a dude to sweep them off their feet not for a dude to come over with the perfect line. Actually it's better if you don't approach them at all.

Eyes are a powerful thing. For instance, your out having fun living in the moment, talking to some dude in the military to just met. You guys are doing shots laughing and having a great time. If your well dressed and have good vibe trust me women will be checking you out. Then you lock eyes and then when you go over and say "hi" it just flows you don't need lines.

Think it's hard to talk to random people at the bar. Do you know how many guys go out to bars with social anxiety, just looking for a friend to talk too. Their usually the guys who have one hand in a pocket and the other holding a beer across their chest.

Have fun. vibe and give love.

That is the way of the natural.

-Dave


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 3:39 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 10:41 pm
Posts: 25
Location: Porto,Portugal
Quote:
Snoop, I have the exact same problem! and i was thinking about how to fix it. Here's how i see it: the reason guys like us run out of things to say is because, well, we'retalking to people weve, just met! we have no prior relationship, and unless youre a social whiz or a big talker eventually things may sizzle out. But this can be prevented! thats why puas use stuff like negs: it creates an emotinal connection, albeit negative, and it gives her a reason to keep talking to you, if only to defend her pride. you can also straight up tell her you think shes cute: its a high risk/high reward approach, cuz if she likes you she has an opening to express it and if she doesnt then shell just blow you off. but at least its not awkward cuz you have a reason for talking to her, and even if she doesnt like you she knows you at least have some balls.
Well, that's the opposite problem to what I have. When I talk with say, my friends or family, they already know everything about me, so we have to create stuff to talk about (which even so often makes for really awesome conversations) but with strangers? It's exploring, and it allows you to talk about stuff you can't talk with people who know everything about you:

Close Friend: I really like steak

You: I went to this amazing steakhouse last night, you wouldn't bel-

Close Friend: Yeah, I know, I was there


I know it sounds ridiculous but that's the best thing (or positive, at least) that can come from talking with strangers - you don't know anything about them nor they know anything about you. Explore, have fun!


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:42 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2008 5:18 pm
Posts: 314
Learn to self amuse. The best naturals (and pua's) can self amuse to no end. You basically say things that make yourself laugh, and even if it isnt funny to them, you are still a source of positive energy because you are having fun and not LOOKING for fun from others

Giving value vs sucking value

Conversations then are completely organic. I may see a piece of clothing or jewelry on the girl and touch it and get right up on her body, sayin it looks cool, etc.

_________________
"going to workout and shit." -stunt101 (PUA chat)


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link