| Hey guys, first post here.
First off I'd like to say, I've read "How to be an Alpha Male" and many things in that book clicked with me with why I've had horrible success throughout my life (friend zooone). I'm interesting just in improving and understanding women naturally, so women think of me as boyfriend material, more than trying to pick up women using honed techniques etc.
One thing is confusing me though, the book mentioned things like
"Don't smile unless she says something that pleases you" etc.
and, "Don't speak in monotone or be boring"
Now this is where I'm confused. Naturally I'm a nice guy, I smile because I just do, and I can chit chat with women decently (however it's always on totally small things, rather than things that interest women deeply).
Anyways, I've ALWAYS ended up in the friend zone with girls...ALWAYS!! I realize this is partly do to being too joky, not touching girls subtly, agreeing with girls opinions (although I do agree, but moreso offering no "fun" by teasing etc., being too serious conversation-wise) and listening to them go on about other guys and all that shit (which from my understanding the best thing to do is change the conversation IMMEDIATELY)
On to the point, before you even talk to the girl, and during the first few words to the girl, what is your attitude supposed to be like?. I can easily stare girls in the eyes, but not smiling is hard to be myself and think properly and confidently. My voice just wants to go monotone and give off a "I don't care, I'm tired" impression in my opinion, and that eventually influences my personality rather than getting girls to open up. Is being straight faced more for after you've got her number and all that stuff, so she is relaxed, thus more open to sex/boyfriend material etc.
If I come off smiling and being a little too animated in the voice, I'm like a salesman or just goofy, or like someone who isn't interested in them more than as a friend,
if I don't smile at all, I come across as boring and my responses from girls is even less.
I'm assuming there's a place in between, maybe it'll just take time, something that a forum can't teach me.
My thinking thus far from not having success to be boyfriend material is that I'm always too nice, not coming across sexual enough at all, even if they're attracted to me, partly because of my own lack of initiative to get girls alone and spend the time to get them comfortable with me non-light heartedly.
Damn, I'm really overthinking this "don't smile" thing, but the book didn't get very specific with it, and it seems counterintuitive to me.
Any thoughts or explanations that would clear this up for me?
When I'm at work I noticed something about girls too. I'll just keep a smug look on my face, waiting for them to look me in the eye, but some never do. Maybe this is an indicator of being in a relationship. I'll be all excited to make eye contact with a pretty girl and practice on building confidence/testing waters to see what works/doesn't but they'll just do their business and leave sometimes.
I feel like the smug look/being chill puts your cards on your looks to get a response. It's hard to get a girl to notice you when you're just standing there showing off your confidence to her.
Really my only goal is to stop the friend zone before it starts to happen, I have little to no experience dating strangers (fucked up big time, psyching myself out, not being assertive enough), I just want my inner game to be good so at the VERY LEAST, introductions to girls within social circles of mine will have better potential.
Thanks guys
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CHAT