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Office game - super tricky one!
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=202969
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Author:  Jaxxx [ Fri Mar 31, 2017 1:13 am ]
Post subject:  Office game - super tricky one!

Hi guys,

So I have a pretty tricky one that I'm not sure how to handle, and I can really do with some advice. In fact, I'm not even sure where to fit it in this forum!

I have this 'situation' going on at work with this scandinavian girl. The top-level summary is: she has a boyfriend and I have a pretty strict 'don't shit where you eat' rule, so I tried to stay away from her despite she being super attractive and fun and interesting and totally 'my type' (we have like one million things in common). Also, I'm pretty happy living a single life, I've been dating quite a lot of women lately, been having lots of sex, and I'm not really after the complications that would come with messing around with someone at work. However, despite my best efforts, we became closer and closer, we have a lot of banter going, which became more and more flirtatious. We often take coffee breaks together, we get lunch together (not every day, but quite often). Every time we go out for drinks also with other colleagues she gives me lots of hints and she escalates with me, finding excuses to get physically close to me, giving me massages, grabbing my hands, sitting on my laps. She's totally fine with me reciprocating this, however the other night we were both quite drunk and we were walking towards the tube and in a moment of loosing control I tried to kiss her and she basically dodged me. Again we were super intoxicated so luckily I don't remember much, however this was quite annoying since a) she's the one who usually triggers flirty behaviours, b) I'm the one with the strict don't shit where you eat rule and c) now I feel like an ass since I basically feel like I got rejected.

After that episode I was totally up for letting that go, but she keeps dropping me hints, like she texts me ambiguous things like "you foreigners are not to be trusted... you steal all the girls (eventually)" (yepp I'm foreigner), and tomorrow **we decided to ditch work together so she can come and hang out at my place**. She seems to have totally forgotten about me trying to kiss her, or at least she's pretending to. She sometimes even gives me little jealous fits when other female colleagues get too close to me.

The other problem is that I'm fancying her more and more... she's totally growing on me, I'm developing some sort of one-itis over her. I'm really confused by her behaviour, I don't know whether I'm over-reading things and she actually simply friendzoned me really hard, or if she's playing some mind-fuck games with me, or if she fancies me too but she's confused too since she has a boyfriend and we are colleagues so she basically also doesn't know what tha fuck she's doing.

I feel like the best thing I should do is to live this be. Again, I'm seeing quite a lot of other women, I have lots of my plate, and I don't really need this. But she's quite special, one of those that I know I'd regret in the years to come if I don't at least try to pursue. Also she's super popular in the office and lots of other guys have their eyes set on her and it would totally piss me off if she'd end up fucking someone else...

I guess I'm after a double advice: do you guys reckon I should forget about her and move on or pursue her? And if you reckon I should do the second, how would you guys suggest I'd make my next moves?

Thanks a lot in advance for your help!

Author:  oceanx [ Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Office game - super tricky one!

You're thinking about shitting where you eat with a girl who has a bf.

You state that you have an abundance of women in your life. Since that is the case per your statement, you may be falling for this one and PUTTING HER ON A PEDESTAL ("she's special") because she won't give you what you want and because of all the time spent with her during work and after work hours.

Cut and run.

Honestly who cares who she's having sex with. Why go through the hassle with this one and risk drama at work, and drama with her bf with all the other women out there who as you state you are actively dating anyway. It simply doesn't compute.

I would immediately start treating her like one of the guys and do so from now on.

Author:  Black Phantom [ Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Office game - super tricky one!

I can totally relate to your situation because couple of years ago I had a crush with a girl from the office too. She
was smart, beautiful, and with a boyfriend.

I on the other hand had all the women I could want, was enjoying my single life and basically being a bad ass.

One of the best things you can do right now is even though you like her, don't treat her any different than
the girls
you're seeing at this moment.

Treat her as "one of the girls" and you'll basically get the same result.

If you still like her after being with her - great. Maybe you want to get into a relationship with her.

Because by the sound of it, she's not really happy with her boyfriend. I don't judge anyone's character as I
don't know their situation, but everyone is responsible for their own actions. If you like her and she's there,
forget about the fact that she even has a boyfriend.

Proceed with business as usual and see where things take you. But remember, don't make her any more special
than any other girl.

TREAT HER THE SAME as every other girl.

Be the cocky, confident guy and just allow things to happen.

Author:  Jaxxx [ Sat May 27, 2017 3:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Office game - super tricky one!

Well, sorry for taking so long to reply, I really appreciate you taking the time to give advice. Unfortunately I got quite burnt out by the situation, and for a while I haven't been in the mood for replying to this. But now I'm finally moving on. Basically I fell for that girl, big time, and one night I tried to kiss her again, and she rejected me. Apparently she was 'confused' but mainly it was all in my head. What's worse, she kept the flirting going on with other colleagues, the situation became so toxic for me that I had to find a way to switch team, which I did.

I now see how much time I wasted, and how silly I was to fall for her, but I couldn't control it, it just happened, and I got burnt really badly. Onward :)

Author:  puaninja [ Mon May 29, 2017 1:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Office game - super tricky one!

Some girls man, they are just hot and don't really care about how they treat men or the implications of the games they play. At the end of the day they have all the options and all the control, so they've got nothing to lose by behaving as they do.

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