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Texting advice. Is this too upfront?
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Author:  sapipa [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Girl I used to be on elementary school (like 20 years ago!) with turns out to have become a hot butterfly.
I added her a couple of days ago on fb and later on Instagram.
2 days ago she liked one of my photos (an old one so she was "checking").
Today she initiates contact by fb message "Nice to meet you here!"

I want to answer

"Would be even nicer in real life" and then go from there.

Is this too straightforward? Should I take it slower?

Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Talk first man..

Show you can maintain a conversation; don't jump straight into forcing her to action. Vibe a little bit first. Its the equivalent of a girl saying "You're cute" at a bar and you saying " So you wanna blow me in the bathroom?" maybe she does; but you wanna vibe a bit first.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Wed Jan 18, 2017 2:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Her: Nice to meet you here!

You : Agreed! Let's catch up at Bar X, Tuesday night, 9.

Author:  sapipa [ Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
Talk first man..

Show you can maintain a conversation; don't jump straight into forcing her to action. Vibe a little bit first. Its the equivalent of a girl saying "You're cute" at a bar and you saying " So you wanna blow me in the bathroom?" maybe she does; but you wanna vibe a bit first.

Chose Eddie's advice on this one.
Talked for a bit and then set up a date.

She said she couldn't make this weekend and suggested the next one.
I suggested to meet during next week but she preferred weekend.
Agreed on next Friday.

Is it important now to keep the contact going?
I would prefer to keep it to a minimum, meaning not initiating myself and then by mid next week hit her up again and try to build some tension/attraction.

How does that sound?

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
Quote:
Talk first man..

Show you can maintain a conversation; don't jump straight into forcing her to action. Vibe a little bit first. Its the equivalent of a girl saying "You're cute" at a bar and you saying " So you wanna blow me in the bathroom?" maybe she does; but you wanna vibe a bit first.

Chose Eddie's advice on this one.
Talked for a bit and then set up a date.

She said she couldn't make this weekend and suggested the next one.
I suggested to meet during next week but she preferred weekend.
Agreed on next Friday.

Is it important now to keep the contact going?
I would prefer to keep it to a minimum, meaning not initiating myself and then by mid next week hit her up again and try to build some tension/attraction.

How does that sound?
Playing to cool and gamey like that will get you flaked on.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Wed Jan 18, 2017 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
I would prefer to keep it to a minimum, meaning not initiating myself and then by mid next week hit her up again and try to build some tension/attraction.

How does that sound?

Do you have a time and place? If not, you have to contact her again.

"Hey, let's do Bar XXX at 9."

No dinner shit, nothing fancy. Drinks and conversation. Don't pay for her drink. If she asks why, say you're big on feminism and equality.

Author:  sapipa [ Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
Quote:
I would prefer to keep it to a minimum, meaning not initiating myself and then by mid next week hit her up again and try to build some tension/attraction.

How does that sound?

Do you have a time and place? If not, you have to contact her again.

"Hey, let's do Bar XXX at 9."

No dinner shit, nothing fancy. Drinks and conversation. Don't pay for her drink. If she asks why, say you're big on feminism and equality.
We have an idea about what whe are going to do. Drinks indd. Not an exact place and time.
So i do need to contact her again.
I'm just wondering, since it's a full week from now, if I need to keep the convo going or wait for her to initiate?

The connection I build with her is really a minimum so far, also because we didn't really find a time where we both were available for some decent chatting. She was showing some IOI's so I that's why I tried to set up the date pretty fast.

Author:  sapipa [ Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
Talk first man..

Show you can maintain a conversation; don't jump straight into forcing her to action. Vibe a little bit first. Its the equivalent of a girl saying "You're cute" at a bar and you saying " So you wanna blow me in the bathroom?" maybe she does; but you wanna vibe a bit first.
So, we have been talking online for a few days now. The date, so far, in scheduled for friday...
I try to be playful but this girl seems really serious. Every time I try something even distantly playful/flirty/sexual she backs off and then reinitiates later.
For example, our latest convo:

We were talking about skiing.
Me: you the sporty type?
She: Not really :) I do like walking and have a step at home
Me; A step haha, great. Including a DVD?
She: Nono, watch out you :) It's with resistance, so I get stronger
Me: I see, good for those bottoms right :)

Then, no answer...
I'm kinda bored with our conversations in general, but since she is pretty hot I do want to see what happens on a real date...

What is the advice here?
Should I try to minimize the teasing stuff and just keep the attention until the date? Trying to keep the convo her way?
Should I again wait for her to initiate and try building it more slowly?
Other strategy?

Thnx

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Contacting a woman often, before a scheduled date conveys you're fearful she'll forget you.

You were advised to set a firm place and time, the not to get gamey and cute over text. Why do you need to contact her and talk about nonsense WHEN YOU HAVE A DATE?

Men who do this talk women out of showing up.

I wouldn't be surprised if she bailed.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
We were talking about skiing.
Me: you the sporty type?
She: Not really :) I do like walking and have a step at home
Me; A step haha, great. Including a DVD?
Jesus christ this is boring. More often than not, the best move a man can make with a woman is none at all.

Ever see those covers on romance novels? With the woman on her knees clawing at a masculine man? Do you think a guy like that asks a new/newerish woman about a FUCKING DVD?

Those covers sell books for a reason.

women want to catch a buzz, have intense orgasms, then cuddle and spill secrets. They don't want the mundane. They want passion, to be swept away in good feelings.

Author:  sapipa [ Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
Contacting a woman often, before a scheduled date conveys you're fearful she'll forget you.

You were advised to set a firm place and time, the not to get gamey and cute over text. Why do you need to contact her and talk about nonsense WHEN YOU HAVE A DATE?

Men who do this talk women out of showing up.

I wouldn't be surprised if she bailed.
Boring as hell I AGREE.
However, I did set the date asap. Problem being that is was set more than a week away...
Meanwhile she kept initiating contact. Ignoring here completely will probably also result in a flake?

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

If she's initiating, cool. But keep it light and short. Don't feel obligated to continue a long texting conversation that day. Women like it when a man bails on texting early on.

Author:  Eddie Fews [ Mon Jan 23, 2017 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
Contacting a woman often, before a scheduled date conveys you're fearful she'll forget you.

I have to disagree here. It only shows you're fearful that she will forget if you are genuinely fearful that she will forget. I talk to ALL the women i go out with the days before the date. I can't remember the last time i've just set up a date and let it sit. Its been at least 5 years. And thats just because I'm witty and communicative and know how to handle conversations. Although 9 times out of 10 they're usually texting me to exchange good mornings and good nights.

Without being said though..

You did way too much Sappia.. Talking online for a few days? I expected you to chat for a bit that day, get the number and at least move things to the phone. I didn't think you would spend multiple days chatting with her on the internet. My whole thing was exchange 3-5 messages before asking her out, nothing more than that.

Also, do your best to never set up a date for more than 3 days ahead.. Preferably two days. That way everything is fresh and ready to go.

Author:  sapipa [ Mon Jan 23, 2017 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

Quote:
Quote:
Contacting a woman often, before a scheduled date conveys you're fearful she'll forget you.

I have to disagree here. It only shows you're fearful that she will forget if you are genuinely fearful that she will forget. I talk to ALL the women i go out with the days before the date. I can't remember the last time i've just set up a date and let it sit. Its been at least 5 years. And thats just because I'm witty and communicative and know how to handle conversations. Although 9 times out of 10 they're usually texting me to exchange good mornings and good nights.

Without being said though..

You did way too much Sappia.. Talking online for a few days? I expected you to chat for a bit that day, get the number and at least move things to the phone. I didn't think you would spend multiple days chatting with her on the internet. My whole thing was exchange 3-5 messages before asking her out, nothing more than that.

Also, do your best to never set up a date for more than 3 days ahead.. Preferably two days. That way everything is fresh and ready to go.
Ok ok, so moving to the phone, what is the objective here?

It's just hard for me to feel any real attraction for this girl and act upon it, because I don't know how she looks in real life and her texts are so boring...

Author:  vhou812 [ Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Texting advice. Is this too upfront?

If she's boring via text, she's probably boring in person too. If you aren't feeling it, break the date with her and move on.

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