Hello friends,

I know a girl for about two months now. She started going to and then also working in a bar I've been visiting for about three years now. She's at this bar all the time now, even when she's not working there (but usually she is). I'm at this bar all the time as well, all my friends are also going there and everybody knows each other there. However, now I can only go there on weekends, because I work in another city during the week (and am super busy).
She's always flirting with everybody. I mean, really, shes really good at it. Also with me. I feel as she likes me more than other men shes flirting with (I'm attractive). Shes showing a lot of interest in me in general. The thing is, I get very awkward around her and cannot escalate effectively. Fact that many others flirt with her and that she flirts with other men all the time makes it even so much harder for me to do any serious escalation.

Not long ago, she was sitting next to me (we were touching with bodies, legs all the time), speaking to my friend and basically flirting with him. I couldn't break in the interaction smoothly (me and the girl spoke as well, but way less than my friend spoke with her and he got more "important/useful" kino done - hes clearly into her as well). My first question is: What do you do in a situation explained above?

And of course, more important question: How do I close this girl? Answers like "just ask her our" and "stop being a pussy" won't help me. I need a serious masterplan (and also a kick in the butt). Seems like I cannot close in this bar as there are always people (which we both know) around. How do I ask her out without revealing my affection for her? I feel like attraction between us could die if I reveal too much too soon, to me seems like she's only attracted to me because I seem kinda hard to get to her, which would be no longer a fact if I ask her out. How can I close as smooth as possible? We also texted a bit already FYI. I always struggle with closing.

Thanks in advance for your advice, much appreciated.

Hi there, I have read your post and I think I can give you some advice. It can be difficult to know a person within two months. More time (may be like 12 months or more) is needed to know the true characters of someone. The reason you feel awkward around her is that you barely know her. The majority of ladies who work part time or full time in bars generally do flirting everybody to attract customers so that shouldn't be a problem. Isolating is always easy for anyone. What you can do is avoid going to that bar for sometime. Whenever she texts you lie to her that you are in the middle of something important and that you will call her later. But don't call her. The moment she realizes your are not interested in her she will not text you. You can also opt not reply texts whenever she texts you.

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WTF??? Seriously, WTF??? I want you to logically think about this. Do you think a girl wants to go out with a guy that's not interested in them?

As for your master plan...get that out of your head. There is no master plan. When you guys are sitting there touching legs, or whatever, get her to go with you somewhere else.

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You are right about the first part of course. However, I am shoving interest in many ways - its hard not to But from my experience, shoving too much and therefore making yourself available can kill the attraction.

Masterplan is how do I get her to go somewhere else with me...smoothly


Khatib, sorry man, I don't get your reply/advice. I don't want to get rid of her, I want to make her mine. BTW shes not flirting to attract customers, seems like its just her nature.

OP, you've actually stated what your actual problem is:That's the kind of thinking that can kill attraction. Too many of you guys come here with the purpose of being good with one woman and want to skip the step of being good with women.

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OP you should want to get a glimpse of who she is. Wanting to make her yours when you don't even know her is as premature as premature gets.
That's what will kill attraction, as Jack said.

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You can avoid showing affection to her by refusing to sleep with her the first date. Remember also not to take alcohol that day and take her to her home/room early in the evening and leave. Simple.

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This is definitely a way to avoid showing affection. As a bonus, it's also a way to keep her from showing affection.

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