Dating girl for 3 months - Transition to relationship?



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 5:55 pm 
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I've been seeing this girl for 3 months now. We didn't tell eachother we're exclusive but we both told eachother we don't need anyone else.

Anyway I've been recieving some mixed signals last couple of weeks:

- She tells me I can sleep with other girls aslong as I use a condom and I tell her (I don't use one with her)
- She doesn't want a relationship

Next day:

- She asks me how I see us in the future, I tell her I don't see a future since she doesn't want a relationship
- I ask her what she wants, she tells me she's "Too afraid to answer from her side alone" and " I would only answer that question if I could answer it anonymously"

- After we had a small argument she tells me "I'm breaking up with you", I reply with "How can you break up with me, we're not even together!" to which she says: " I'm breaking up with you because you don't ask me to be in a relationship with me!"


She is also going out for dinner with a male friend of her on thursday (she has done this before with the same guy) and she has been acting shady about it, like she is afraid to tell me. She also texts with this guy on a daily basis even when she's with me but she doesn't try to hide this. (She claims it's a guy she has known for over 8 years and is just a friend of her)


Anyway, how should I continue if I want to have a monogamous relationship with this girl and how should I deal with her going out on dinner dates with this guy? I have been cheated on in my previous relationship so I can't help but be a little bit bothered by it.



Some notes:

- She is pretty hot so she gets hit on by a lot of guys.
- We basicly see eachother everyday and have sex everyday
- She gets very jealous/upset when I mention other girls
- We have been having little arguments lately and I feel that our relationship not being defined is the main reason of this


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 8:22 pm 
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Quote:
- We basicly see eachother everyday and have sex everyday
Just continue with this part. Hit that shit like you own it! Reaffirm during sex, slap that ass and say "Who's ass is this?!"

You are both over analyzing shit that don't need it.

At three months you hardly know each other. Let her bring it up again that's HER job.
Quote:
She is also going out for dinner with a male friend of her on thursday (she has done this before with the same guy) and she has been acting shady about it, like she is afraid to tell me.
He's her emergency 'dick in a jar' fuck boi. He wants to dick her, I promise you that. And she is aware. She's loving the attention.

But you do the above and it's likely she'll cancel.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 7:37 am 
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OP don't fall for this melodrama. She's a grown ass woman, if she wants a relationship with you she can put herself out there, just like the rest of the world.
Quote:
I have been cheated on in my previous relationship so I can't help but be a little bit bothered by it.
Don't let the past dictate your present.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:34 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
- We basicly see eachother everyday and have sex everyday
Just continue with this part. Hit that shit like you own it! Reaffirm during sex, slap that ass and say "Who's ass is this?!"

You are both over analyzing shit that don't need it.

At three months you hardly know each other. Let her bring it up again that's HER job.
Quote:
She is also going out for dinner with a male friend of her on thursday (she has done this before with the same guy) and she has been acting shady about it, like she is afraid to tell me.
He's her emergency 'dick in a jar' fuck boi. He wants to dick her, I promise you that. And she is aware. She's loving the attention.

But you do the above and it's likely she'll cancel.
Well we've been seeing eachother for almost 7 months total now, but only last 3 months were exclusive.

Anyway I'll do what you said :) What if she doesn't cancel though, should I mention it?

Have to note that we did plan to go out on thursday and she will be sleeping over at my place, so even if she goes out to dinner with the guy she will be sleeping over. (just like previous time she went out eating with him)


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:39 am 
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Quote:
OP don't fall for this melodrama. She's a grown ass woman, if she wants a relationship with you she can put herself out there, just like the rest of the world.
Quote:
I have been cheated on in my previous relationship so I can't help but be a little bit bothered by it.
Don't let the past dictate your present.

Well she always brings up the subject and asks things like: "Do you think it would work out if we were together?"
She has also told me she loves me multiple times before, most of the time after we had sex so I don't know if tha counts :D

How should I respond to this?


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:43 am 
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Wait what?

She told you she loves you and you've been exclusive for 3 months? Then how is she *not* your girlfriend?

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 9:08 am 
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Quote:
Wait what?

She told you she loves you and you've been exclusive for 3 months? Then how is she *not* your girlfriend?
Well we started of with the premise that we were just having fun and wouldn't have anything serious together since she just came out of an 8 year relationship which ended badly. So it all kinda evolved from seeing eachother once or twice a week to have sex to seeing eachother daily, going out eating together and holding hands in public etc. We even went out on a small citytrip and she changed the background of my cellphone to a picture of us kissing.

At the moment it feels like we're in some sort of twilight zone between fuckbuddies and having a relationship :lol:

So yea she told me she loves me, but some time ago she told me she isn't ready for a relationship yet when someone else mentioned that she was my girlfriend.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 10:09 am 
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Dude, you're in a relationship.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 11:06 am 
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Quote:
Dude, you're in a relationship.
Okay, so how do I handle her going out for dinner with the other guy then? :)


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 11:33 am 
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Let her go to dinner with another guy.

Then talk to her and acknowledge the relationship.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 12:43 pm 
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Quote:
Well we've been seeing eachother for almost 7 months total now, but only last 3 months were exclusive.
Details

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 1:44 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Well we've been seeing eachother for almost 7 months total now, but only last 3 months were exclusive.
Details

She was cheating on her boyfriend with me for about 4 months. It was quite a shitty relationship where both sides cheated a lot on eachother but neither of them ever had the guts to really end it, but she eventually ended since she had fallen in love with me.

She told me they hadn't even slept eachother the last year but anyway, I only see us as 'exclusive' since the moment she actually ended it.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 3:03 pm 
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Quote:

She was cheating on her boyfriend with me for about 4 months. It was quite a shitty relationship where both sides cheated a lot on eachother but neither of them ever had the guts to really end it, but she eventually ended since she had fallen in love with me.
So... You two were just fuck buddy's till you started catching feelings for each other, THEN decided to be exclusive? [Rhetorical].

You both need to acknowledge where you are it.
Quote:
She told me they hadn't even slept eachother the last year
Never heard that one before.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 4:57 pm 
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Well I went out with 2 female friends while she was out for dinner with the guy (she jokingly said she hated me and that she was jealous) and around midnight she came back to me and slept over.

Had sex 4 times that day and again 2 times today after which we had 'the talk' again. I told her we're basicly already a couple based on what we are doing, she agreed but repeated she doesn't want a relationship yet because it's too soon.

She wants to be unrestricted and free even though she told me she wants us to be exclusive again. She also snooped through my phone while I was showering and was mad at me for sending flirty texts to other women.

She also said she feels bad about it because on the one hand she really likes me and wants to be with me all the time but on the other hand she doesn't want to settle yet.


:roll: :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 8:56 am 
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My red flag radar is all over the place OP.

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There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.


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