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I have been seeing this girl for the last 6 weeks. She goes out of town for work sometimes. But she comes over and we have a lot of sex, watch a movie, talk, she stays the night most of the time.
Sounds great.
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I asked her a few times things like is this just sex or you looking for more?
Ugh.
I want you to look at both quotes. One is fun, light, and a joy to read. Then look at the second quote. this is what I mean by "Debbie Downer" talks. You only get so many of these early on before you get dumped. Choose wisely.
you are ONLY six weeks in. This is nothing. Be the fun, chill, in the moment guy, not the "we need to talk" guy. Woman who have high social value will bolt on this.
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She said ideally a relationship and she liked hanging out with me non sex times. Then the second to last time I saw her she was being really nice and I said "Are you trying to make me hard or just fall in love?" She said "I hope both".
Jesus Christ. Already talking love six weeks in? If this is a 9/10 with a tendency to eat weak men alive, you just may have turned her off. You basically told her you are falling in love.
BAD idea six weeks in with socially valuable women who want a relationship to organically happen. One of the most common terms women use to tamper down needy men is "just let it happen".
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Ok so then she went out of town and said when she gets back she is coming to see me right away and I said ok good. She let me know she was coming back to town and I said, you coming over tonight or tomorrow? She ignored it.
It's a test. she's seeing if you're too needy, and lost some attraction probably after you said you were falling in love.
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Then the third day I said hey come over and she said she was busy with family.
She still has other men in her life. It's only been six weeks. Pretty normal for a socially valuable woman.
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She seems very different, before she went out of town she was all like I need to see you, I miss you, etc. Now she is very distant. I dont know what could have changed as we didn't see each other and she was working the whole time.
Give her space. Obviously she's behaving in a way that indicates she needs it.
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I've never had this happen before so idk what it means or what I should do.
It's because I'm betting this is the hottest woman you've dated. And she knows what she wants...sex, and she knows relationships happen organically. She's also independent.
Based on what you've posted, admitting you were falling in love killed the challenge for her, and the fun. Don't hit her up for a few days, see if she hits you back. She may have also hung out with an ex, or an orbiter from before you. It happens with people who have abundance.
Early courtship with socially valuable people is never "clean". There are always loose ends, because of all the abundance/options. If you show up in the most dominant, chill way, (and by giving a lot of orgasms) she will organically fade out her orbiters, and ask you for exclusivity.