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Most of the guys who have trouble here do so because they don't control their emotions. Girl after girl blows them off.
My advice is based on controlling emotion (avoiding over-contact, negative emotions in text, controlling, neurotic behavior, butt hurt outbursts, etc) based on self-improvement, not fear.
Once these men reign in their emotions, they won't fear rejection and thus won't fear or idolize women.
Also, we don't have the woman's point of view here in these interactions, so anyone with a brain wouldn't give advice based on that, but rather the holes in the game by the OP's.
Self-improvement is not fear. And there is no self improvement without change in behavior. "The place it comes from" is a meaningless platitude.
"Controlling emotions" is coping, it is symptom SPAM and neglects addressing the root of the problem.
You can call it what you want, I'll call it what it is: suppressing one's feelings, which can only perpetuate distress and suffering.
Your 'solutions' aren't solutions, they're just plugging holes in a sinking boat - just as one hole is plugged, several more develop.
This is nothing even remotely close to "self-improvement" as you have it defined. Rather, it is about putting on a show with the hopes of not scaring women off. In essence, its fear-based at its core and worse so validation-seeking.
But you continue being blind.