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Last night i Discovered that my girlfriend of 1 year, flirted and kissed with a friend of her approx. 3 weeks after we became a couple.
OMG, who cares bro! You didn't even know her. You're imparting your current situation/feelings onto a past isolated incident where you had no idea who she was, and her orbiters were still in the picture.
Ignore it and have fun sex.
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It was something like - "oh and last night i got so super wasted, that i ended of flirting to much with xxxx and we ended up with a quick kiss on the mouth. I feel so embarassed about it and I can almost not remember it".
The sooner men understand that women are not fragile flowers and princesses, and that they like sex, the better off men will be in the courtship process (IE not chasing women away due to their insecurities controlling them).
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I confronted her (without letting her know I found out through the diary)
OMG, a year later? lol.
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I said I had to give the relationship some serious thought and left it at that. She has been contacting me much of the day, saying how sorry she was etc etc.
Sounds fun.
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I simply don't know what to do? My brain says that if she can do it once, she can do it twice but my heart wants to give it another chance.
You need to chill the fuck out and understand what women really are. Your girlfriend is not a magical princess. She's tough as fuck, probably has more balls than most men. She likes to get dick, bro. She likes men to cum on her face. She fantasizes about threesomes, or getting tied up.
LET GO of the mythology you have built in your mind about women. It's a false narrative that leads to insecurities and emotionally-uncentered behavior. Socially valuable women (IE not obese women, which is most of the U.S. these days) will have had sexual encounters, and orbiters during the initial phase of your relationship. If you don't like this, date a nun.
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Is it me who is putting to much into it or should I just get the fuck away? At the same time I read that she did something similar with her last boyfriend and that she has been seeing a shrink because of self-esteem issues.
OMG! An attractive woman kisses guys and has self-esteem issues? HOLY SHIT. Dude, break up with her right away! There are so many perfect princesses out there. This is some crazy-ass baggage! *sarcasm off*
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And can someone please hint me in the direction of some litterature that explains why a good looking, funny and sweet guy have such a hard time walking away? It's not like I will have any problems finding another girl, as I (beyond this relationship) got my shit together...
You're acting like a bitch, OP.
Take a deep breath, and look at the situation in context. She's a cute girl. She likes sex. She will always be attracted to other people as well as you. But three weeks in is nothing at all.
The fact you're focused on this non-issues tells me you need to have way more fun. Turn your insecurities into lust. It's a fun way to deal with them. Drop the issue, but only bring it up when you're fucking her, in a playful way, ask he what she liked about the kiss, ask her playfully if she's ever thought of a threesome, etc. Learn to flip your insecurities into slight indifference and playfulness. you might actually find that your outrage over this is really a disguise at the fact reading about it kind of turned you on.....