Hi friends!! I'm calling upon your advice once again! I have recently started seeing a girl I met. I actually met her briefly in July but its not until now that we are together. I even had a girlfriend during that period so it's taken a while for this to happen. I won't waffle on too much I've been trying to do all the things I learnt from GAME but I have turned to mush just like Neil Strauss did when he met Lisa!!

Quick background, she has an 11 yr old boy which probably would have freaked me out in the past but now I actually really like the idea as I don't want any children of my own and she doesn't want any more. I quite like the idea of being his cool older friend and giving him advice. Also she is still married but separated and she told me it is "100%" over.

So, I have fallen completely head over heels in love with her, I know it! I'm so ashamed to say I'm a mess!! I'm sure she feels the same. I don't want to push it but I find it so hard NOT to tell her how I feel!! I was thinking of telling her at midnight on New Year's Eve? Or should I even tell her at all! I really feel for the first time I might have a future with someone!

Help me guys, before I revert back to an AFC! What should I do??? X

NO NO NO NO!!! A THOUSAND TIMES NO!!

Every time I get close to someone I make this mistake. I think "my god I have to tell her how I feel" but as soon as you do she has the power! You're no longer a mystery because you've laid yourself open. In my experience doing this first leads to heartbreak and disappointment.

"The nature of romance is in it's uncertainty" - Oscar Wilde

Here are the three biggest signs you are about to FUCK UP.

1. You start thinking “I don’t want to play games with this chick. I like her. Why can’t I just let her know.”
2. You think “This girl is different, I don’t have to play games with her.”
3. You think “She definitely likes me. We’re past the point I need to play games.”

The minute any of those thoughts creep into your mind, re-read this post. And DO NOT convince yourself that she is different.

SHE IS NOT DIFFERENT.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

This. I wish I could have had this post tattooed on the underside of my eyelids every time I get serious with a girl.

I wouldn't be feeling as destitute as I am now had I taken this advice and not bought into the false romantic idyll that Hollywood sells us.

I decided to not play games with my girl from the start. Was completely open yet I always remained in control and not jealous. I told her I loved her first and very quickly. I tried to lead in the relationship at all times.

This resulted in her proposing to me and now we are married!


Tell her dude! If that's what you feel! Just make sure it's a genuine emotion and try to know if she feels it too!

Hi everyone. Thankyou for your wise words all of you. On New Year's Eve she came over and I had the best New Years of my life. We talked and sang and said how happy we were. We did confess our love and I could not have been happier.

However, that was New Year's Eve. Last night she texts me to tell me that they told the kid they are separated and he was "completely heartbroken". Even though his dads been away for five years and only visits once or twice a year. Since then it's changed. I can't get any affectionate messages out of her. I actually said to her I won't lie to her or play games as its a serious situation. I've been very honest, saying I will support her and I'm not going to hurt her and I don't get much back. I'm expecting her to be saying things like "thank you so much, this means so much to me, I'm so glad you're in my life etc" but no. All I get is "thank you" and "I wouldn't blame you if you walked away"

Lets not hide from the obvious here. It's written all over my face I'm feeling out coz I've fallen In love so much and I just know she's gonna ditch me. Yes this is so pathetic of me I know it. I'm currently at work and I can't even face being here. I feel so sick and I can't tell you the thoughts in my head. I don't know wherever there's something wrong with me or if everyone feels like this when they're in love. I just can't feel like this. I'm picturing myself just throwing my phone on the sea and sitting into car with the engine running and a big bottle of whiskey. I know how this sounds. I'm so sorry and ashamed of myself. I'm just sitting in the dark at work hoping no one will find me and I want to go. Someone just tried to talk to me and I just had to tell them to leave or I was going to be sick with tears. I know what you'll be thinking of me it sounds so pathetic. I'm 34 and I've never felt so much for someone. I know this will kill me. Please don't hate me too much. I love you all.

Repeat after me; THERE IS NO WOMAN WORTH THESE KIND OF FEELINGS.

If you need to PM me go ahead

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

You need some tough love man. What are you doing to yourself? You can't get any affectionate messages out of her for ONE day, and this is how you feel. ONE single day. I would not want to date you. So take a breath, STOP, and think.

She didn't stop having feelings for you, or stop loving you, or decide she gonna ditch you in one day... How many "honest and supportive" texted have you sent? (correct answer should of been 1)

You're saying you wont lie to her, play games, or hurt her... whats that have to do with her son being completely heartbroken? That's not support, its needy.

"I wouldn't blame you if you walked away" Now tell me what the rest of the story is on this text?

I'm not defending my behaviour as I know I've fucked it. Tough love, yes I know I need it.

I can't remember what was said after the "I wouldn't blame you if you walked away" shit. But it's obviously just clever games on her part. She can't give much of a shit if she can say that. I'm just shocked at the change in her in such a short space of time!!! I've cut it all out. No more pathetic texts etc. although I know it's fucked already but what else can you do. Sorry guys I've let myself down. What should I do, if anything?

That defeatist attitude will get you no where, so drop it. I was much more curious as to what was said before the "I wouldn't blame you if you walked away" text, not after. If it feels like clever games ask questions before anything. "Why would I walk away?" you might not always get the answer you want, but you'll know what you're working with. What was the last thing you said to her?

Step back and leave it ALONE! Get a Bro and go to a strip club and get hammered, trust me boobs will help.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Erm, before that I think it was just more stuff about the whole situation regards her kid etc.

Just been idle chit chat since then really. Just regular things.

haha If its just regular chit chat then why are you tripping out. She has a full plate. Give it a week. Maybe it clears itself up

I might be reading into it too much. It's just the transition from nice texts to, crappy texts that I find so odd. I just know something is wrong. I've backed off now, probably too late. I do appreciate you advising me.

I do take things to heart sometimes. Guess I'm a bit strange. Not too much to ask to want to be happy is it x

It's not to much to ask to be happy, but take responsibility for some of your own happiness. Instant satisfaction is what you're asking for. You want your cute text and now or the world is over.

You don't know that something is wrong, if it's about you(fully or partially), how bad it is, or if it's probably too late. When you talk to her keep the conversation off of what you NEED and you might end up getting it later.