what r the arguments about? examples

lol she's a party girl to begin with. Why did you even get in a relationship with her if you don't like those types?You're trying to change her and you know you can't do that. You should've never got in a relationship with her.

You got 2 options. Accept her party behavior. Or break up with her.

You can tear her a new asshole all you want, but at the end of the day if she's the party type she will just do it behind your back... and that's what it sounds like she's already doing.

Haven't been on these forums in awhile
But I think it's time for some support I can get from you guys

PUA taught me a lot and I'm still growing that's why I'm back on here

Here's a small breakdown of what's going on, I've been with my girlfriend for almost 11 months.
Great girl, pays for me, gone on many trips with her out the country, has a stable job and etc.

Curious. Do you have any of those things? Stable job, security, decent income etc.


However when I first met her I knew she was a party girl, which I didn't like. Everything was going good until
about 2 months ago. She was living with her brother at the time and I live alone, so I made a bold move and
we both deciding that she would move in with me and it would cut my rent cost. Living with someone completely changes the dynamic of a relationship. I started arguing with her over the most smallest of issues and blew some things out of proportion. Currently our relationship has been on a negative slope, and believe me I still have hope for this relationship because the pros outweigh the cons.

So you knowingly had a "party girl" move in, and help with the financial end of things.

Since she was a party girl, I've had issues with her going out for long hours throughout the night. Early on she would go out and wouldn't tell me her whereabouts nor wouldn't let me know when she would be back home. I put my foot down and things quickly changed for the better.

What does "putting my foot down" entail?

Now recently about 2 weeks ago more arguments over nothing.

She likely begrudgingly accepted your "putting your foot down" conditions, and did so out of obligation rather than something she truly felt doing. (a hunch)

One of her best friends is this gay dude, it's his birthday and she decides to go out. She never calls me/never text me. Doesn't come back to the apartment until 6pm the next day claims that she slept over her grandmothers house which makes since because the gay dude and her grandmother lives in the same building. I was fcking livid and she completely drove me crazy.

You're dating a cat, basically. The more you try to catch and cage it the more it will stray. Its part of her lifestyle SPAM.

Because it's just plain disrespectful, mind you she had work the next day.

"Disrespectful" is an interpretation of what you think somebody is doing to you. Its messy/violent thinking. So now you're angry and want this girl to pay, in a sense, for her indiscretion or 'flouting' the way you feel she should be

Which is why she didn't return back home until 6pm, when she finally gotten home she acted like everything was ok which really pissed me off. Then she tells me she's going out with the same gay dude, which I met before, he had a family event at his house. To which she invited me to but I declined. She had the audacity to leave again without some discusssion. When she finally got home I ripped her new asshole. She cried and said she won't ever do that again blah blah blah.

Discussion about what exactly? Do party girls discuss things much when in party mode? Not sure the protocol.

So fast forward to this week, more arguments over small shit which is partly my fault, I discuss this out we move forward. Currently last night her college friends are in town, so they have a girls night out. She comes home from work in a good mood kisses me tells me she loves me and bought me an expensive bottle of my favorite tequila and we have a few shots.

Great so before you were angry, now you're an angry drunk...kinda know what happens next *popcorn

Went she left the apartment she tells me jokingly "I'll be back home" in a sense to not be worried. I woke up this morning 5am and guess what she's not home, did not text, nor call. As I did the last time blowing up her phone like a mad man, I decided to say fuck it and haven't contacted her at all and I'm not angry or upset like I was 2 weeks ago. I'm on my way to visit my parents out of town for Christmas. I'll be back at my place maybe later on this week depending on what occurs from this point on.

and here it comes...


These little arguments which is to blame between myself and her, I go crazy and she threatens to move out. I honestly thought we could move past that and focus on us. No matter how much I want it to work out I'm not crazy and possibly I have to end this relationship. I don't know what her reasoning for not coming home when she clearly knows the consequence. Maybe she has checked out. Maybe she got drunk or deciding to partake in drugs who knows. Strange because yesterday she comes home with all these Christmas gifts for my family.

Not sure how I should approach this, I'm currently checked out and although I did love this girl and had some great times with her. Also there no point of trying when I can clearly interpret her actions. It takes two to fix a relationship and I can't let someone repeat bad behavior. Ill keep this updated.

you're feeling almost all but hopeless, what are you wanting from her at this point?

Happy Holidays

what r the arguments about? examples

For example our last one, was over a freaking windchime that I always keep on the door.
One day its gone missing and I ask her about it, she goes off on me about how its old and dusty
Theres much more in my apartment that could have been thrown out...

Which makes me wonder why did she specifically want to throw that out so when she's out she can discreetly come back in..who knows..

What is bothering you about the situation? That she doesnt contact you when she goes out? That she goes out and stays late? That she goes out in general?

What bothers me is that she doesn't contact me, stays out late or sometimes doesn't even come back home, that's just plain disrespectful.

First, thanks for answering my questions as best as you could. I'll give detailed thoughts now:

The reason I ask what exactly is bothering you, is because unless you're just going to throw her stuff on the streets and block her number, you 2 are going to have a discussion/argument about this. And if you repeat her actions and just say "thats just plain disrespectful", she asks "why is it", you cant give a specific reason, you 2 go round and round and nothing is resolved. Whatever is bothering you, be able to be SPECIFIC. Like, I dont know if you have a problem with her going out without you, staying out late (and if this is it, why...ie trust issues, safety concerns?), not checking in with you when she's out.

Like what do you want?

a) Her to NOT go out without you?
b) Her to NOT go out AS MUCH without you?
c) Her to text you when she is out?
d) Her to not stay out past midnight or some time?

Is it that you are worried for her safety? Unsure of what she is doing? Missing her? Worried that not texting you means she's having too much fun?

Thats not me justifying her actions; if she said she wont do something and she didnt keep that promise, you should be upset. But I'm saying you gotta know whats bothering you specifically about her actions. As n2 says. This is all over the place with reasons why its bothering you.

One thing about the argument you describe, is its shitty communication and a lack of respect on her side. You ask where something is, she goes off. Thats dysfunction. But you say you start arguments and are partly to blame. You know whats going on with that, and whether that plays a role. Could be a disrespectful gf who doesnt give a fuck to come home early, or a sign of chick who doesnt want to contact you when she's out because you may blow up. Staying out that late and with no contact, is a red flag...now that could be a red flag for cheating, for u 2 being incompatible, for her avoiding arguments at home, I dunno. I'd add that you dont really seem interested in her friends like that. I see 3 instances she went out, 2 you couldve gone and you didnt. So I'm the mind that hey if I invite you out and you decline, I'll go have fun.

Its tough because I'd like to say "dump the ho", but I dont know if the arguments make her stay out more or more resistant to contacting you. I dont know if you not liking her friends and not going out with them makes her say fuckit, I'm gonna have fun instead of texting this bore at home. If you're dating someone, I'd say have compatible lifestyles, have respectful communication and take a real interest in their friends. Those things are lacking here. Your gfs actions are causing problems; I just cant tell whether they are the issue, or symptoms of bigger issues.