GF cancels our planned night and openly meets with other guy



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:01 am 
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i'd dump her
This.

Being disrespectful like that is a character flaw. How do you think she'd react if you told her you canceled dinner plans with her to go out with somebody known for being a whore?

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:00 pm 
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Yeah, I'd dump her as well. Went through a similar situation in college where my girlfriend would study with this one dude all the time and act like I was crazy because I didn't exactly jump for joy. Long story short, she ended up hooking up with him and confessing.

Now, I cut it off before I can actually get hurt.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:46 pm 
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Most of the advice is 'punish her by ignoring her and don't seem phased'.

Simply by punishing her you are showing her you are phased. When she knows you are fazed she has 'won her little game'. She knows she meant something to you.

The other side seems to be 'Dump her'. Why dump her? You're just going to be on your own until you get the next chick to bang. This advice is to protect your ego. Ego is all down to you it's in your own head and no-one else can see this except for you.

My advice. Realise she is a filthy whore who you are not going to commit to. She is not the girl she was when you first met therefore does not deserve that respect.

Don't give her the satisfaction of showing her you care by ignoring her, it just gives her power over you. Fuck her like the filthy whore she is while you are looking for someone else. Act normal, carry on as normal, be prepared for the 'I'm breaking up with you' And laugh to yourself since you enjoyed fucking her while covering you're back and looking for an exit clause.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 1:40 am 
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Don't give her the satisfaction of showing her you care by ignoring her, it just gives her power over you. Fuck her like the filthy whore she is while you are looking for someone else. Act normal, carry on as normal, be prepared for the 'I'm breaking up with you' And laugh to yourself since you enjoyed fucking her while covering you're back and looking for an exit clause.
by not wanting to "give her the satisfaction" (in your words) you are again plotting and scheming how to not be fazed, unfazed, fazed this, fazed that...etc

my advice to dump her had nothing to do with being reactionary and everything to do with being over her ass.

lol

i'da been like "we are done, peace, i'm going to get a coffee" and never talked to her again.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 9:18 am 
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i would either keep banging her while looking for something else or just straight up dump her

For the love of god though dont act like you give a shit about this guy


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 10:02 am 
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Mack gives here the best advice period.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:08 pm 
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Once again, keep us updated!

What happened?


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:55 pm 
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Once again, keep us updated!

What happened?
+1

I hate stuff being unresolved lol


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:01 am 
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In my opinion the answer here is to sit her down and explain to her that you aren't happy with the situation, that you've been together for 2.5 yrs & that she should afford you more respect than making you second fiddle to someone who in your opinion doesn't have her friendship as his solitary goal.
if the answer is ''there's nothing in it, we're just friends'' then your response can be that you are a couple and YOU should take priority.

The likely hood is that if she's making plans like that she's got more than shopping/ coffee on her mind.
Its that kind of society these days where playing the field is the right thing to do. If there wasn't a huge swing towards that way of thinking, due partly to the plethora of external factors barraging the psyce on a daily, endless loop... websites like this couldn't exist...

and its not just a male consideration.

Women love a good dicking!

Pull rank with her or move on.

Sadly, pulling rank may aggravate or just postpone the potential situation but its gotta be better than allowing another man to encroach on your patch.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 7:50 pm 
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Aight boys!

Sorry for no update. Completely forgot about this thread.

Basically I was never going to dump her over this. Not yet anyway. I know the guy and she has known him for the same length of time she has known me.

Now here's what I did: Basically whenever she brought it up in the days leading up to it I shifted the conversation immediately. I just said 'that's fine' and then changed subject. I think she got the hint; suddenly she 'wasn't meeting up with him anymore.' She cancelled her plans.

Now here's what I did which I'm unsure if it was the right thing to do:

I arranged the day after to meet up for dinner with two hot girl friends (not gf) Just friends.

Was this a shitty thing to do? I just arranged it and didn't tell her until the day I had arranged.

Thanks


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 8:28 am 
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Quote:

Now here's what I did: Basically whenever she brought it up in the days leading up to it I shifted the conversation immediately. I just said 'that's fine' and then changed subject. I think she got the hint; suddenly she 'wasn't meeting up with him anymore.' She cancelled her plans.

Thanks

Exactly what i thought would happen, which is why i say when you act like you dont give a shit about the guy it makes you seem better then him in a girls eyes.

If you moan and bitch about a guy to your girl he seems better then you


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:05 am 
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I've never agreed with punishment tactics like freeze outs. Even if a freeze out works for a short term goal, it has adverse long term effects like the girl resenting you.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:22 pm 
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I am not a big fan of the "You did this to me so I am going to do this to you" tactic. I do believe that women should be kept around, hell If my gf broke things off I could have a date with an hb 10 the next day, but I would never do anything while we were together.

The jealousy game, hanging out with other women to make her jealous, its only going to cause resentment imo. Some guys will tell you to do this but its not a long term solution. Basically it does not actually solve the problem which is that your gf is not making you the priority.

Rather then make plans to hang out with other girls just to make her jealous, try talking to her about it, tell her if you are not her priority then you will find someone ele's who will make you one, and then break things off, thats when you go hang out with other women. Jealousy is a dangerous toy to play with! it can work in your favour but it can also back fire!

You never want to try to make a women feel jealous, you want to get her to realize your value as a man, to realize what she has, jealousy should never be your goal here although it might be an effect, it should never be the cause!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:41 pm 
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You never want to try to make a women feel jealous, you want to get her to realize your value as a man, to realize what she has, jealousy should never be your goal here although it might be an effect, it should never be the cause!
i like this.

well put.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:57 am 
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Quote:
You never want to try to make a women feel jealous, you want to get her to realize your value as a man, to realize what she has, jealousy should never be your goal here although it might be an effect, it should never be the cause!
i like this.

well put.
I think jealousy tactics should be a last resort but they are very effective if used properly. Unfortunately i know when i need to use those tactics on a girl i am in a relationship with then the relationship is over and we are simply back to the attraction phase of it and to act accordingly. I was in a LTR and she started being distant and by bringing in jealousy it brought her very quickly back to fighting to have me again but then sadly realized that when I was having to use the same tactics I used to win her in the first place that this wasn't a relationship anymore and it had to end. Now shes just a great fuck buddy whenever i feel like it. It sucks but it is reality.


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