I was a member on here a few years ago. I remember picking up "The Game" by Neil Strauss when I was in high school. I had a crush on a girl who had mutual feelings towards me. Her name was Heylee, and not being able find the courage to ask her out, I decided it was time to change my life. We remain friends to this day, and later I was engaged to her best friend Presley. I thought I knew everything about the "the game" and my narcissism was through the roof. I cheated on my fiance Presley with her best friend Heylee. I taught every guy friend I had about getting laid. I set up relationships, helped friends lose their virginity, and to this day I am seen as a "legend" among my friends. I do not feel this way, at all. Presley and I broke up one year after the incident happened, because I was so "bad ass" to keep the relationship going.
I was able to to take the game and apply it directly towards 18-21 year old girls. When Presley finally broke up with my dumbass, I went into a down whirl spiral. I had a great sex life after the fact. I was in a band, the most social guy everyone knew, and always had the parties with a higher girl ratio than guys. Little did I know, my life would see the bottom. I lost everything; the band, friends, social groups and my confidence. My #1 fear had happened, and I paralyzed myself in more ways than I can comprehend. I even had to move back in with my dad for a little bit.
Today I am 24 and live with a roomate. I dedicated the last year and a half of my life to create "the good life". I have a business that funds my lifestyle, I changed my mentality and success has never been so close. The only thing that has suffered is my love life. I treat people with respect, I have taken action to change my narcissistic behavior, and became highly goal oriented. I don't use the same disrespectful and demeaning approaches I once did. It isn't working though. Every girl I have gone after in the past year and half has turned me down. I can't get a date with this "nice guy" mentality, clearly it isn't working.
Most of the girls I have been with have said I am extremely cold. One of my best friends who I only had sex with once has even stated that I never made her feel awful about herself. I want to have a great sex life again without making someone feel this way. I want to have the girls I sleep with still remain my friends for years to come. My insecurities have started to take control of my mental health. I developed a porn addiction, and create constant excuses to meet new people. Here are the excuses I think of now:
* My face has acne scars
* My body isn't perfect, I am not muscular enough
* Maybe my dick is too small, why is this a problem now?
* I have too many goals I want to accomplish, what if I find a girl I really like?
I am ready to finally learn from a respectable pick up artist. Since I was 18, I have envisioned a perfect life when I was 25. I know life is full of surprises, but I need to get over this mentality. I need to retrain my mind. I figure this was the best place to start. g
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