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Jen
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Joined: 11 Dec 2007
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 Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 7:41 pm Post subject: Too many cooks... |
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Hi boys!
A quick question...
How do you stop pulling people all the time? Do you find that sometimes you're just not interested, and want to stay friends with someone, but they won't stop looking at you in 'that' way? I've found that it's hard to turn off, and change the signals you're giving out. Anyone else have the same problem?
Mostly I hang out with gay men and straight women, which solves a lot of the issues! |
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The Doctor
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| Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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Study up on body language.
The difficult part for most people is they don't really understand 90% of the signals they're sending... you have to get these under control if you going to try to turn for IOI's off.
Either that or develop a bitch shield... that keeps unwanted sexual advances away. |
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Jen
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Joined: 11 Dec 2007
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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| The Doctor wrote: | Study up on body language.
The difficult part for most people is they don't really understand 90% of the signals they're sending... you have to get these under control if you going to try to turn for IOI's off.
Either that or develop a bitch shield... that keeps unwanted sexual advances away. |
The men I'm talking about wouldn't pick up on being hit over the head with a frying pan, let alone the fine art of subtle body language!
A bitch shield? |
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L.A. Tripp
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| Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Jen, are you talking about in person or online? |
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Jen
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 11 Dec 2007
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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| L.A. Tripp wrote: | | Jen, are you talking about in person or online? |
Uhm, if it were someone online, I would turn the computer off... |
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Rye Lee
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My post count is my POWER LEVEL!!!
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Location: Toronto
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:55 am Post subject: |
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| Jen wrote: | | The Doctor wrote: | Study up on body language.
The difficult part for most people is they don't really understand 90% of the signals they're sending... you have to get these under control if you going to try to turn for IOI's off.
Either that or develop a bitch shield... that keeps unwanted sexual advances away. |
The men I'm talking about wouldn't pick up on being hit over the head with a frying pan, let alone the fine art of subtle body language!
A bitch shield? |
Then you REALLY need to study up on body language, because although it IS a fine art and IS subtle, that doesn't mean that their brain doesn't register things unconsciously and make them attracted to you because of how you angle your body, or the way you tilt your head, or gesture with your hands. UNDERSTANDING and being able to control body language is a fine art, but everyone unconsciously picks up on other people's body language, otherwise there would be no point in learning bodylanguage, because only a select few would be affected by it. |
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Ka
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Joined: 13 Oct 2007
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:59 am Post subject: |
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Do not take this the wrong way Jen, put your body is probably telling the boys "I want you". Then again some really AFC dudes just dont know when to stop pushing. You could say those dreaded words to them "Lets Just Be Friends." Stick them in LJBF zone...owch.
Its funny because i never meet a girl who had trouble making it apparent she didnt like me that way. Maybe we should meet up sometime  |
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The Doctor
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Joined: 14 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:27 am Post subject: |
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| Jen wrote: |
A bitch shield? |
A Bitch Shield is an attitude that some women take on to keep weaker males away... It's that "Don't talk to me you fucking loser" type of persona, you know the kind of girls who a guy buys them a drink and then they look at him like.. gee thanks, leave now.
A bitch shiled is a drastic measure... but it will keep all but the most talented and high valued males from reaching you. The rest will just leave... possibly while crying. |
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Zip
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:30 am Post subject: |
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| The Doctor wrote: | | The rest will just leave... possibly while crying. |
Yep. I have a scrapbook of this. Seriously. |
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L.A. Tripp
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:38 am Post subject: |
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| Zip wrote: | | The Doctor wrote: | | The rest will just leave... possibly while crying. |
Yep. I have a scrapbook of this. Seriously. |
LMAO . . . leave that up to our good old Zip. |
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Numen
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
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Location: San Diego
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:49 am Post subject: |
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Jen, it's tough to know without more detail but if i'm understanding what you're asking correctly the odds are a lot of the guys want to be more than just friends but are too intimidated and therefore are quite passive aggressive about it..
You also don't seem to be a very flrity but indirect person which can send lots of mixed signals to over 90% of guys. Guys are also dense and we (it better not be just me) honestly find you art of subtle body language quite annoying.
If you want better results be more direct. If you want a guy to approach you, make eye contact and then look away and repeat.. he should get the hint. or if you want a guy to move in and start kino or make a move.. start playing with your hair or start shifting your gaze back and forth between his eyes and lips when he's talking.
As for keeping people just friends.. you can give the LJBF speech or you can emphasize it by giving him a friendly hug and telling him he's such a great friend and in other situations as well... when he keeps hearing you refer to him as friend he'll get the hint. |
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Jen
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Joined: 11 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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Cheers for the advice!
Numen - you seem confused. I do NOT have a problem picking up guys.
I could be a bitch, but that doesn't work if I want to be friends.
It's more the friends who never get the message - over years of effort. The ones who I tried all the body language, hints and signs with long ago, but just managed to forget, and then convince themselves they're in with a chance.
Oh, Numen - I'm very different in real life than online |
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Numen
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
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Location: San Diego
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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| so clarify exactly what you're asking.. is this the guys who you gave signals to who never made an advance? or the guys who don't have a chance but still think they do? |
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Thugnificient
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 132
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 8:05 pm Post subject: Re: Too many cooks... |
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| Jen wrote: | Hi boys!
A quick question...
How do you stop pulling people all the time? Do you find that sometimes you're just not interested, and want to stay friends with someone, but they won't stop looking at you in 'that' way? I've found that it's hard to turn off, and change the signals you're giving out. Anyone else have the same problem?
Mostly I hang out with gay men and straight women, which solves a lot of the issues! |
As long as ur female aint no stopping the men. I guess u could walk around wearing a paper bag on your head but even that won't stop it if ur a "tip drill" |
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Alphagame
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Posts: 133
Location: Texas
Reputation: 23.4
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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Jen,
You are asking the wrong crowd here. We're all a bunch of horny guys. We have no idea what a woman should do to stop getting hit on all the time. We're just trying to muster the courage to hit on more women and make it seem like we're not.
Getting hit on too much is, uh, (how do I say this without sounding arrogant)...not really a problem for any of us.
My advice:
1.) Stay out of bars and other places where men consume alcohol.
2.) Wear uglier clothes.
3.) Don't spend time putting on make up and doing your hair.
4.) In short, the more dike you look, the less you're gonna get hit on.
Don't worry too much though, once you get old and out of shape, the guys who are fawning over you now won't give you the time of day. The odds of you staying hot when you're over 35 are extremely slim. I'd try to enjoy it if I were you. |
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