I shoot myself in the foot constantly, i'd like genuine help



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?


A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?


IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:31 pm 
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Hey mPUA forum, havent posted in a while due to just getting treated from cancer, so I just wanted to post about an issue thats been getting at me for the past two months.

Long story short, I have always had an extremely low view of myself. I have always viewed myself as ugly, a loser, a failure, everything, even with friends and family claiming the opposite. This has even continued practicing pick-up, and even in a good mood in an approach, eventually I always try to "impress/try to attract" the girl, and I always, always lose her subconciously pulling this crap.

Its kinda funny like...I have 0 issues going out by myself to malls, shops, around school, bars/nightclubs...and yet even with a good mood again...my low self esteem always gets me while im in front of a girl. It causes me not to "push" kino/touching even though I know i fucking should be 100% of the time...it causes me to have "i dont knows" if "shes attracted or not" and whether "i need" some DHV story(i have none i always just try to bullshit something on the spot which never works) or its like i cold approach a girl walking down the opposite direction and i fumble my words cause "i feel i HAVE to" be interesting 100% of the time, causing me to have "idk what to say" moments all the fucking time.

It fucking sucks cause conciously i know i shouldnt feel this way towards girls and i have made great strides in myself, but its always the same thing mentally. This is even worse for me because its like...just off an initial approach there have been girls at least giving a very good positive reaction/like me off the bat, but its always the same routine with me. I have to do this, "i dont know" if i should do that, oh shes not giving me IOIs oh well just eject even though shes not moving anywhere or telling me she has to go. Thats when i start this whole cycle:

"So and so was in pickup for a week and he already got laid. Ive been at it for a years worth of time and nothing"
"I didnt need to force a role play on a girl who turned completely around asking who I am, Im a real failure"
"I got X amount of numbers and they all flaked. So and so gets only 1 number and has a date lined up. WoW..."

Just punishing myself even with all my effort on, and on, and on...

TLDR: i put tons of effort in approaching girls and always "feel" i have to be doing something to attract her, every single rejection/flake feels personal and its impeding my progress. I compare myself constantly to people who succeed(usually quickly) and it makes me feel like giving up. I dont know what to do or who i go to for help with this.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 6:28 pm 
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Instead of trying to impress the girl as if she's the one with all the power...See it as: You see a pretty girl (she has her foot in the door) then you approach to see what she is like. You're the selector not her.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 6:52 pm 
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The only problem with that is, I don't really know exactly how to implement that. Like im here sitting in my car jus done with a test, if i decided to go around RIGHT NOW to approach, say I went direct "wow, i just had to stop you and tell your sense of style is truly amazing and i had to come meet you. My names NoMoreLuck." Like, i have no idea how to go from that to see if "shes cool"

To be honest, even after so much approaching im still really unsure just over what exact kind of girl Id even qualify for. I mean sure, ive approached where i thought the girl had chemistry with me but i still screwed it up somewhere along the lines to get flaked on. Like ohh i like athletic types and bla bla, or ohh girls with a sense of humor are just two off the top of my head. And even then i still worry about attracting them in the first place before id even dare to go into the whole "are you an athletic type?" thing.(and yea i know they should be statements but again, no real idea how to turn that into a practical statement." I dont know my mind is fucked about this stuff :(


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 7:35 pm 
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NoMoreLuck wrote:

To be honest, even after so much approaching im still really unsure just over what exact kind of girl Id even qualify for. I mean sure, ive approached where i thought the girl had chemistry with me but i still screwed it up somewhere along the lines to get flaked on. Like ohh i like athletic types and bla bla, or ohh girls with a sense of humor are just two off the top of my head. And even then i still worry about attracting them in the first place before id even dare to go into the whole "are you an athletic type?" thing.(and yea i know they should be statements but again, no real idea how to turn that into a practical statement." I dont know my mind is fucked about this stuff :(


Oh well look at you. Finding all the excuses you can not to try.

Is it going to be tough those first few approaches? Yeah.

Are you going to get rejected a few times? Sure.

Is it going to be uncomfortable? Yep.

Those Doctors treating your cancer. Did they get it right the first time? Or did they have to go through a series of trials and tribulations to get there?

What if THEY gave up because they hit an obstacle?

They are fighting a disease effecting millions of people.

You sir are just trying to get over your fear of talking to a mostly harmless girl.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 7:44 pm 
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Not to try? Did you even read my post??? Like really? Lol.

Yea, I didn't emphasize how much effort I put into this shit to even get blown out on approaches where the girl does in fact like me. You know what, yea, I have maaaajor approach anxiety dude, totally. Its not like its about how ive approached girls who were into me and i still fucked it up, and im asking for practical advice on how to fix it. Naw its the typical "afraid to approach" thing. You got me.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:21 pm 
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Yeah, I did read it. And 1000 more just like it. I got you yeah.

Best of luck.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 9:01 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
Yeah, I did read it. And 1000 more just like it. I got you yeah.

Best of luck.


Yea yea man totally dude yea. Nice comeback by the way. 1000 more just like it? Lol well obviously, thats 1000 other people seeking help you chose to try to put down like mine.

I'd still really like some help from someone whose generous enough to help me out. I understand its mostly an "inner game" or confidence issue, but it does always pop up when im right in front of a girl i approach.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2016 3:39 am 
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Try to find a wing in your area, someone pushing you to do those approaches while he watches you doing them can help.

If approach anxiety is really the issue then you could consider to online game instead of daygaming, rejection is way less painful online.

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Cheers.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 9:25 am 
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You'll need to condition yourself at winning one small step at a time since your mind is so used to thinking about losing and failures. Since you're so used to losing, you're more comfortable in this negative state of mind.

First step is awareness. Now that you're self aware about this problem, I want you to break down each action when you approach a girl.

Second step is to get a free Trello account. Break down the approach into several small tasks and place these under the category: To Do. Once you've done that create two more categories: Ongoing and Done.

For example:

To Do

Task # 1 Get a new haircut from a gay hairdresser. Gays are really great at this. Just tell them you want a haircut that looks great with your facial structure.

Task # 2 Get a new set of clothes. Ask the girlie crews what looks great on you.

Task # 3 Get a new pair of shoes.

And so on. You get the drift. Every task that you took action on and got done should be treated as a success. Reward yourself for every set of Done tasks.

For example:

Set 1 - Pre-Approach
Set 2 - Mall Approaches
Set 3 - University Approaches
Set 4 - Instadates

Third step is to feel like a winner. One way to do this is to have a stack of money in your pockets when you approach. Another is to have morning sprints on the regular. Another is to cut down on your sugar intake. Another is to be totally debt free.

Knockout those three steps first and then let us know if you have progressed or not.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 3:08 pm 
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Seems like good advice Monsignor Crisanto


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