WT Foxtrot wrote:
Well it's not social anxiety because that would imply he doesn't go out at all. Sounds like the OP has commitment issues or relationship anxiety. FWBs won't work because they aren't maintaining there friendships very well if they are not getting close.
The best advice for this is to remember to think "I am enough". I don't mean, abandon friendships. I mean that you are placing too much emphasis on what these relationships mean in your life. My theory is that deep down you care too much about what people think of you and how they might react. That's why you fantasize about a relationship with no strings attached, you don't want to get hurt. Well the good news is that the adult world consists of lots of high quality individuals, including girls, and they are able to respect your needs and be able to avoid hurting you. When they do, they didn't mean to. When you come across a low quality individual that makes you feel down on purpose and consistently, just remind yourself that "I am enough." and walk away. In this sense you already have the most important part of your life under control, you. That being said, now is the time to add in others. They don't have to be perfect because when they hurt you, your going to refocus on the fact that "I am enough". Also you've learned that there is an abundance of beautiful women out there. Now you need to learn that there is an abundance of high quality women to socialize with.
I just suggested that he might have social anxiety because i did for most of my life, and still do. I've had the same mind frame that he talked about in his post. But i do agree with you that he probably cares too much about what people think about him. That was my problem as well. He will have to do alot of unwiring of those negative beliefs and replace them with the polar opposite positive beliefs, and implement those positive beliefs into real life action, in order to come out of his darkness. That's what i had to do, and it is what i continue to work on Everyday.