Boy have I struggled with this for the longest time. If I could just stop caring what others think of me… Nothing would stand in my way.
I spent years and years trying to figure this stuff out…
And I found the answer in the most unexpected place.
Allow me to explain brother,
The Secret To Stop Caring What Others Think
“Do you want to know what my secret it? I don’t mind what happens…” – Jiddu Krishnamurti
I would say that this is one of the main reasons most men I work with do not step up.
It is this crippling fear that begins early on and never quite seems to leave.
It constantly follows you in life, like an annoying asshole of a shadow…
And no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to be able to shake it off.
How do you just stop caring about what other’s think?
Let’s Start At The Beginning
“These feelings are weak and unworthy of you Arjuna – how have you fallen so far from the path to liberation?” – Bhagavad Gita
When you were a small child and in grade school, your teacher walked in one day and asked “Who is the best artist in the class?”
Eagerly, your young hand shot up.
“All of you draw your best drawing, and whoever is the best artist in the class will have his drawing put up on the wall for the parent teacher meeting this week”.
And so you draw your little heart out…
But what’s this?
The drawing put up on the wall the next day is not your own – and so your mind does something it never did before…
It gathers information, assesses the situation, and concludes that if your drawing was not selected, then you are not in fact the best artist in class. And so the next time your teacher walks in asking who is the best at something, your hand will not shoot up.
That was the first time you stepped out of your depth of creativity, your inner well of self-esteem, and began to measure your worth based on the opinions of those around you – and you haven’t stopped doing so since.
You began to design your entire sense of self worth based on what others think… And who you are now depends on something external and alien to you – something malleable, transient and ultimately a fiction.
The Contract You Didn’t Know You Signed
Do you really want to stop caring what others think? Or do you just want them to think good things about you.
In other words, would you rather be free, or liked? Think about it…
Because ever since that moment, years ago, when you were a child, you unwittingly signed a secret contract with society around you. I’ve mentioned this contract in the past but in case you missed it, it goes like this;
“I will play by your rules, and conform to your values, and in return, you will give me the validation that I crave”.
Don’t think it’s true? Next time you feel like singing, walk down the street singing out loud and see how people treat you.
So ultimately, to stop caring what others think is to break free from this unofficial secret contract.
Yes!
You see, once that contract is no longer weighing on you, the opinions of others won’t matter any more.
And how do you break free from that social contract?
Find YourSelf
“Water cannot wet it, fire cannot burn it. It is everlasting and infinite, standing on the motionless foundations of eternity” – Bhagavad Gita
Ah this is the great secret!
The moment you come face to face with your Self, the moment you stop running away, the moment you stand above the story of ‘poor little me’ you’ve been repeating to yourself over the years, the moment you begin to draw your sense of self-worth from within instead of from without…
…THAT is the moment you will stop caring what others think.
That’s the great secret!
People always ask me why I have so much fun all the time and don’t get bogged down by overthinking…
Well, because I know myself! Because my mindset is ‘I’m good! I’ve got this! I don’t need you to make me feel good – let me make you feel good instead!’
What can anyone ever give to me that I don’t already have?
You are the master of your self-worth
Stop seeking outside what you possess inside!
Want to stop caring what others think? Find yourSelf.
Don’t know where to start?
Let me help.
Pat Ananda _________________ DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE --> http://centeredmanproject.com/
|