"There is no woman out of your league... Your the one that is putting her on that place..."
Many or almost all men around the world , have trouble when talking with woman. We feel fear, Anxiety, and of course we all are afraid of rejection.
How can we get rid of AA?
One of the most common tips of how to get rid of this is going out and talking to any person you see around , keep it short and simple , not more than 2 minutes. Go out and talk to the fat guy , the little kid , the mother with three sons, the girl working in the shop , the staff... Just say Hi , give a comment , talk about the climate , talk about anything , just approach.
That is just the beginning, we are getting rid of that fear to talk to a stranger. Next step, approach without having any expectations. Stop thinking about what I'm going to tell her , what if... Just get there and talk but have zero goals, stop thinking what you want to do with the girl, just run an opinion opener.
Another way to help this problem , is by planning , just write a couple of openers and stories, at the beginning you will have to memorize a couple of things , but remember this is just to get rid of the problem , then you will be talking better and with no trouble or fear.
Get rid of that AA (Approach Anxiety)by saying hi to all the woman you see... She is not the big deal , she is a person, And your never going to see her again , is not that big deal man ...
"A venusian artist goes into the field night after nigth primarily to improve his calibration and internalize his skill-set. He's not trying to get this one girl or to 'get laid tonight.' Rather, he's practicing with the long-term goal of having a powerful social skill-set...It's like playing a video game: if your man dies, just hit the button and play again."
Don't think of the outcome , if she turn you down , she lost her chance , if you got a number great...
Tyler Durden put it in Fight Club, "Let the chips fall where they may." Stop trying to control your outcome with chicks.
So to overcome shyness, force yourself to chat up everybody, no matter who they were... hot chicks, ugly girls, fat tubby women, senior citizens, goofy-looking men, children, families walking their golden retrievers, etc.
Talk about neutral topics with them, nothing to do with picking up and seducing women.
Use the 3 second rule whenever you can. Stop thinking what to say , just go there and say any opener. Thsi rule was made up to avoid hesitations and to gain social proof , but in this case we are talking about NO HESITATIONS , why ? because you start thinking about the possible outcomes and we don't want that , just go there
So how can you avoid rejection? The answer is: you can't. It isn't the solution to avoid being vulnerable. Rather, the solution is to embrace your vulnerability, to embrace rejection, and let the Field show you what is good and what is bad. Most approach anxiety is a result of imagined rejections, not real ones. Eventually, time in the Field will desensitize you to the emotion of rejection. In a game where you might play five or ten sets every night, losing a few of them here and there never really seems like a big deal.
Realise, rejection is a normal part of life – it’s no big deal – people get rejected for all sorts of things: writers get manuscripts rejected, actors get rejected, rejection is a normal part of job interviews! It’s not rejection that matters, is the way you handle it!
Sean Newman wrote:
You are not to go to any bars or clubs for the next month. At all. You may go to pubs with your friends, but no “sarging.” No bars. Nothing.
What you will do is make changes daily. Here’s how.
For the next month, you will take a 30-minute walk every day. Pick a neighborhood that’s easy to get to from home or work, and go there at about the same time every day. Ideally pick a place you can walk right after work. It can be a street with shops, or a park. But it must be a place where people are about.
When you are on your walk, you nod to yourself and keep repeating under your breath “I’m going to look silly but i’m going to have fun.” Just do it.
Now comes the crucial part. When you walk past a woman, ANY woman, smile, look up at her and say “Hello.” That’s it. Just greet her. She does not have to say anything back. These are the simple steps to get you out of your head.
You have that goal. Now the next thing to look for is a woman, any woman, who is not walking. Do the same thing. Walk up and say “Hello.” Wait until she says “Hello” back, then when she does, introduce yourself. She will then tell you her name, and then you immediately tell her how you take a walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you’re quite shy, and are learning how to just enjoy small talk and getting to know people.
Do NOT run any routines or anything else. Just have a conversation about how you have trouble having conversations. I want you to be totally honest and sincere. And if she joins the conversation, that’s great. Keep talking. If she has something to do that prevents her from talking, that’s fine as well. Wish her a good day and move on.
When walking past people, smile and say “Hello” to one person. It does NOT matter if they say Hello back or even look up.
The first woman you see on your walk, stop and greet her with a smile and “Hello.” Then introduce yourself politely and ask her name. When she tells you her name, tell her you like to walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you are quite shy, and learning how to be social and enjoy small talk.
Once you say that, you are free to go. You do not need to say anything else. But you are also free to stay and talk.
No matter what else happens, make sure you walk for the full 30 minutes.
Get home and keep a checklist of the things you did. One check for walking for 30 minutes. One check for everyone you greeted with a hello. One check for every woman you stopped and chatted with.
When you see you have three checks, celebrate. Go to your favorite pub and watch the game with your buds. Order your favorite food. Give yourself a high-five. Whatever. But make sure you celebrate doing it.
Give me 30 days of this, and you will have a better life. I give you my word.
Hope this help all of you out there having this problem.