For most guys, social shyness and striking up conversations is the hardest part of pick-up. Share your techniques and tactics for overcoming anxiety here.
Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:47 am
Today I did wear my heart rate chest strip and went to the mall approaching women to see what it's actually like. The first approach let my heart rate shoot up 165 BPM, then it became a little better with 130 BPM at the lowest. Then the 7th approach got my heart rate up to 175 BPM. That's crazy and I am just walking at a normal pace. I even have lower BPM while jogging. All in all I ended up with one phone number from all the approaches. What I'm interested in is that you're saying in this article that approach anxiety is actually healthy. I was wondering if it isn't actually immense stress and animals like mouses were proven to have decreased live expectancy if they experience a lot of stress during their lives. What do you think?
Sat May 04, 2013 11:57 pm
This is awesome, I recently discovered this forum and benefit from it so much, when it comes to shyness and social anxiety, it's a big obstacle to win and be a great pick up artist , isn't?
anyway I read also some goodness on this site
Mon Jul 01, 2013 1:17 am
Wow... great thread!
I guess it may be considered a short cut but I've also had great success with hypnosis. I've tried 3 or 4 different products and can tell a huge difference. It's amazing how people start treating you different when you just do something small like having more eye contact. Women start playing with their hair and asking you more personal questions.. and even men start treating you with a different type of respect. Just from something small like eye contact.
I had no idea how import confidence was.
Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:06 am
I know about AA. I was at this outdoor mall last week sarging. As soon as I stepped out of the car and rounded the corner on the side walk i noticed this girl coming towards me. She was about a 5. She was the first person i'd seen so i was going to talk to her and get warmed up. When she was about 10 feet from me my heart started racing. I wasn't even nervous! My heart started pounding in my chest and i could feel my cheeks starting to flush a bit. Even if you aren't nervous, this natural reaction in your body is enough to throw you off course. When she was close enough i stopped her in her tracks and said " Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I'm the man of your dreams". She just looked at me expressionless and then, after about a second shook her head left and right in an unconscious manor and just simply said " no ", and walked away. My friend and I laughed so hard.
That day, I approached about 15 hot girls. Maybe more. Even though every girl I talked to after that first girl was at least twice as hot, none of them gave me as much unconscious nervousness. Matter of fact, by the end of the night, not only had all the fear disappeared, but i was having a blast.
But, what is most interesting, and the point of this hole story is that every single girl that night at the mall, all 15 of them rejected me in one fashion or another. A few girls were RUDE. Some girls were so sweet and nice that it just warmed my heart! The more girls i burned thru, and the more i was rejected, the more it seemed like it empowered me. The more fearless I became.
Therefore, advice that i would give to a person with Approach anxiety is this: There is no way to bypass the fear your body naturally produces. The adrenaline, the rapid heart beat, and tenseness are unavoidable. There are only two ways to change. If you can, go inside of your mind and change it. Convince yourself that you are good at approaching people. I read a story where this guy was afraid of public speaking. What did he do? He wrote on a piece of paper " I am good at public speaking". Every morning he would wake up and read it. He said one day, while he was reading it, it just became apart of him instantly. He just became what he wrote down. The second way to rid yourself of this fear is to simply face it by doing what you fear. The more afraid you are of something, the faster the fear will leave you when you face it. My short experience last weekend is evidence enough of this.
Good luck all!
Thu Jan 16, 2014 9:35 pm
absolutely right, great advice. just talk to anybody to get your warmers on.
for example, if you at barnes & noble take the risk and embarrassment and go out there and talk to at least one girl.
Also the mom you might talk to you may develop an awesome relationship with and she may want to introduce you to her daughter. This happened to me when i was working and a women came in with her friend and we got to talking and found out we both played tennis. so i offered to hit with her and give her a few pointers. happens that she has a 21 year daughter who is pretty smokin and i got to take her out for coffee.
you never know what could happen.
Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:23 pm
I remember a quote, I think it said something along the lines, "Courage grows from action."
So just keep forcing the approach and the courage will come.
Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:19 pm
This is great advice
some background I have social anxiety and did not talk to anyone at all most days before this.
i'm two days into this now
yesterday it was really hard, my heart was on fire. I only manged to talk to one person really close to my house so that was lucky I saw her I just said "hi" she took her headphone out and said "hi" then be both walked away. I patted myself on the back loads!
Today, taking the longest possible way to work, I struggled to spit out the "hi" to anyone, sadly, I did go to tesco before I arrived and it was much easier for some reason but I still felt my heart. Normally it was just "hi" "hi" me: "how are you?" them: "good" then I walk away. I spoke to about five people in tesco, then three more walking out.
I have real trouble talking to older people though, I am 18 Is it ok if I focus on younger people who look around my age 18-25? or should I push myself to talk to older people too? I'm wondering because maybe I can only get rid of my anxiety If I can appraoch everyone
Anyway tommorow is college so there will be people everywhere , gonna try hard to keep talking to people regardless for the rest of March, wish me luck and thank you!
Fri Jul 04, 2014 5:51 pm
ALWAYS focus on the present moment - it's the only moment we truly have any control over.
Focusing on the OUTCOME = Focusing on an unrealized FUTURE that may or may not ever even happen.
Would you tell you star kicker to focus on "winning the game" or would you rather him simply focus on the kick he needs to make in that moment which could potentially change the entire complexion of the game?
Same goes for being successful with women. Look at the vast majority of posts on this board, most are from guys who are worried about losing the girl, or the girl they don't even have yet. Worry = Future focused. By practicing on focusing on the NOW you will bypass all that worry.
Not only that, your interactions will be much calmer, you'll be more authentic, and in-the-moment with people; in short your energy will be much more enjoyable to others and you'll have greater success in your interactions with people.
Mon Sep 07, 2015 11:08 pm
Most approach anxiety is a result of imagined rejections, not real ones.
One of the most simple, yet realest things I've read in a long time. I got the AA bad.
Been two years since I've dated anyone, or smashed anything....
Sun Oct 30, 2016 4:00 pm
So surprising but eating cottage cheese everyday can help us to fight the anxiety. Cottage cheese contain potassium, which plays an important role in the neural activities of your brain and muscles https://wikihomenutrition.com/cottage-cheese-health-benefits/
Trust in yourself and you'll succeed.
Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:35 am
Newbey mision rapport
I goes to the mall with a friend of mine , and sad hi to random chicks , most of them didn't even heard me , and I felt kind a stupid , but after a lot of them that filling has changed , it's actually feel prety owsome ! A few of them answere me , but it's not about it , it's about this his became fun and easy and funny , it's like a part of me who was full of Aa gut removed , I have to keep do this every ducking week. I'm feeling fucking owsome.
Fri Jul 14, 2017 8:47 am
Thank you, that's essentially and exactly what I'm looking for
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