Overcoming Approach Anxiety


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PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 7:11 am 
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Good stuff . :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:38 am 
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this was a problem for me about 3 years ago.. all this info helped a lot


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 9:48 pm 
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I started solving this problem with drinking 6 tequila's each time I approach a girl.

The second time I went out to a pub/club I drinked 5 tequila.

The third time I went out to a pub/club I drinked 4 tequila

And so on , till I had 0 tequila left and I was used!
It became mental normal for me to approach girls :P

Maybe this helps or maybe not.. but this stuff just stimulates me to move around and have some fun!
( This is Not the best method ofcourse because I had used alcohol to push my fears away, but hey my fears are gone now!)


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 5:32 pm 
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THROUGH APPROACHES UNTOLD
AND HARDSHIPS UNNUMBERED,
I HAVE FOUGHT MY WAY HERE
TO THE CASTLE BEYOND AFC CITY,
FOR MY WILL IS AS STRONG AS THEIR'S
AND MY KNOWLEDGE IS GREAT.

YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!

If you feel approach anxiety repeat the last line to yourself.
It's a realisation and an epiphany.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:20 pm 
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Melodical wrote:
THROUGH APPROACHES UNTOLD
AND HARDSHIPS UNNUMBERED,
I HAVE FOUGHT MY WAY HERE
TO THE CASTLE BEYOND AFC CITY,
FOR MY WILL IS AS STRONG AS THEIR'S
AND MY KNOWLEDGE IS GREAT.

YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!

If you feel approach anxiety repeat the last line to yourself.
It's a realisation and an epiphany.


Great haha!


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 Post subject: Word
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 6:22 pm 
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I feel exactly what xman is saying. can't worry about the outcome cuz if you do it more than likely will not go the way you want if you are a beginner. I am a beginner only been getting into this shit about three months and i wanna be the best..but i know there is a process. I'm going to take your ideas and test them in the field

PriceisRight

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 6:54 pm 
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mulimans wrote:
About that 3 seconds rule:

I notice each time again approaching for me is no problem at all (although I still feel in some situations some AA) as long as I know BEFORE I step to a girl exactly what I am going to say. But...walking on to a girl without any opening in mind yet is a big difference for me and I didn't have the guts for it yet . Simple, because I am pretty sure it will turn out to something like:

ME: "Hi"
HB: "Hi"

(silence.....silence....)

HB: (face changing like if I am a fool)
HB: (moves along)

Therefor my question: How do I have to interpret that 3 seconds rule in this.
Does this rule mean that you already have the text or at least the idea of what you are going to say in mind just before approaching, or is meant that you walk to her with an 'empty' mind with the idea I just will see what I 'm going to say when I stand in front of her?



Just ask her like where she is heading or what ever, be freely spoke pretend its your sister you talking to, ask her where she think men should where or whatever, just talk there m8 :)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:17 pm 
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great little post this! complete user guide to getting over AA


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 7:11 am 
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Approach anxiety comes from our f*d up society and belief system (sorry to use rough language here :) ). It comes from all that we have experienced with women in our past, how our relationship with our mother is, what we have been told by our parents, by the society and our culture. All these things have planted unconscious patterns into our brains that are deeply stuck. The ONLY way I have found so far for getting rid of AA, is to go through a thorough healing procedure (this is what I do with my clients). By recalling memories, beliefs that ignite negative emotions in us when approaching women, and erasing them, we can get rid of AA COMPLETELY! One of the most powerful tools to do that is the so called Emotional Freedom Technique (or EFT). If applied properly it can change perspective on approaching women and make you delighted in doing so (as opposed to having anxiety).

Ivan


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PostPosted: Tue May 03, 2011 8:44 am 
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This seems like a great place to start. I'm about as AFC as they come and this doesn't seem too intimidating at all. I'd never thought of just being completely upfront and telling people you're trying to overcome shyness. I'll try this out soon.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 2:48 pm 
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great styff!!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 11:00 pm 
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to overcome my AA i started newbie mission by asking for directions to my own office! (lol)
then as i built up some comfort i started complementing each girl by saying "hi, your really cute looking!"
i noticed that all dressed up and nice looking girls (especially the once which were not alone) gave me smile and a "thank you" in return

my AA was shattering away when suddenly this happened:
i said to a girl, "hi, you are looking cute."
she screamed at me, "fuck off! you bustard!!"
and she abused me more ... i did not hear it all as i moved on (mostly due to fear)

any advice on this guys?
i am really down by this.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:49 pm 
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cooljatt wrote:
to overcome my AA i started newbie mission by asking for directions to my own office! (lol)
then as i built up some comfort i started complementing each girl by saying "hi, your really cute looking!"
i noticed that all dressed up and nice looking girls (especially the once which were not alone) gave me smile and a "thank you" in return

my AA was shattering away when suddenly this happened:
i said to a girl, "hi, you are looking cute."
she screamed at me, "fuck off! you bustard!!"
and she abused me more ... i did not hear it all as i moved on (mostly due to fear)

any advice on this guys?
i am really down by this.


Look, this is my point of view

I approach 5 girls in a night club

2 ignores me
2 reject me
1 kisses and date with me

Conclusion : I GOT LAID MEN!!! WHAT A NIGHT!

The percentage of victory was 20% and rejection 80% but wtf i am walking out the door with my 20% and a big smile, same in your case, you are doing a great job approaching girls, keep up the good work!, dont be dissapointed by some crazy chick, enjoy the ride.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 5:18 pm 
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cooljatt wrote:
to overcome my AA i started newbie mission by asking for directions to my own office! (lol)
then as i built up some comfort i started complementing each girl by saying "hi, your really cute looking!"
i noticed that all dressed up and nice looking girls (especially the once which were not alone) gave me smile and a "thank you" in return

my AA was shattering away when suddenly this happened:
i said to a girl, "hi, you are looking cute."
she screamed at me, "fuck off! you bustard!!"
and she abused me more ... i did not hear it all as i moved on (mostly due to fear)

any advice on this guys?
i am really down by this.


You can't let stuff like that bother you. Don't take it personally. Obviously, if that's the way she reacted to "hi, you are looking cute," then she has some major issues going on. She could have just had a bad day, or been sexually harassed moments before you approached. She could have been having a fight with her bf and took it out on you. She could just be very immature and insecure. Who knows? The point is, you can't control other people's reactions, you can only control your own. Why waste time worrying about how some random girl on the streets, who you'll never see again, acted immature and bitchy?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 7:12 pm 
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xfman wrote:

Sean Newman wrote:

Step 1.

You are not to go to any bars or clubs for the next month. At all. You may go to pubs with your friends, but no “sarging.” No bars. Nothing.

What you will do is make changes daily. Here’s how.

Step 2.

For the next month, you will take a 30-minute walk every day. Pick a neighborhood that’s easy to get to from home or work, and go there at about the same time every day. Ideally pick a place you can walk right after work. It can be a street with shops, or a park. But it must be a place where people are about.

When you are on your walk, you nod to yourself and keep repeating under your breath “I’m going to look silly but i’m going to have fun.” Just do it.

Now comes the crucial part. When you walk past a woman, ANY woman, smile, look up at her and say “Hello.” That’s it. Just greet her. She does not have to say anything back. These are the simple steps to get you out of your head.

You have that goal. Now the next thing to look for is a woman, any woman, who is not walking. Do the same thing. Walk up and say “Hello.” Wait until she says “Hello” back, then when she does, introduce yourself. She will then tell you her name, and then you immediately tell her how you take a walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you’re quite shy, and are learning how to just enjoy small talk and getting to know people.

Do NOT run any routines or anything else. Just have a conversation about how you have trouble having conversations. I want you to be totally honest and sincere. And if she joins the conversation, that’s great. Keep talking. If she has something to do that prevents her from talking, that’s fine as well. Wish her a good day and move on.

In short:

When walking past people, smile and say “Hello” to one person. It does NOT matter if they say Hello back or even look up.
The first woman you see on your walk, stop and greet her with a smile and “Hello.” Then introduce yourself politely and ask her name. When she tells you her name, tell her you like to walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you are quite shy, and learning how to be social and enjoy small talk.
Once you say that, you are free to go. You do not need to say anything else. But you are also free to stay and talk.
No matter what else happens, make sure you walk for the full 30 minutes.
Get home and keep a checklist of the things you did. One check for walking for 30 minutes. One check for everyone you greeted with a hello. One check for every woman you stopped and chatted with.
When you see you have three checks, celebrate. Go to your favorite pub and watch the game with your buds. Order your favorite food. Give yourself a high-five. Whatever. But make sure you celebrate doing it.
Give me 30 days of this, and you will have a better life. I give you my word.




I started this today. I walked around for 35 mins and said hi to anyone who I passed. I didn't get a chance to talk to anyone who was stopped, because I didn't encounter anyone who wasn't on the go. I picked a place that usually has a lot of people and quite a few HB's, but today there weren't many people and no HB's :(

I got a positive response though, only one person didn't say hi back.

I'll try again tomorrow, maybe at a different place. And hopefully start a few small talk conversations. I think saying "hi" to people is pretty easy and I don't really have any problems with that at all.


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