Overcoming Approach Anxiety


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:59 am 
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thnks


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:20 pm 
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Thanks for the info! I think I'm going to start doing this...

Is just a "Hi" okay? Or should I actually engage in a convo?


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:11 pm 
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thanks XFman, good advice


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:12 pm 
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km0 wrote:
Thanks for the info! I think I'm going to start doing this...

Is just a "Hi" okay? Or should I actually engage in a convo?


you should just say hi, and if she engages in a convo, then just go with it.
but it depends if she's walking or not.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:46 pm 
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Tips for people with AA wanting to ask questions:

Do not ask them here, but instead try them on people you meet in the street. Start by shops where people are paid to be nice to you. Then progress to randomers.

I realised on friday I had a certain level of AA myself, and intend on figthing against it with all the tips i just read. Special thanks to XFMAN

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:25 am 
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:46 pm 
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skiepi wrote:
Tips for people with AA wanting to ask questions:

Do not ask them here, but instead try them on people you meet in the street. Start by shops where people are paid to be nice to you. Then progress to randomers.

I realised on friday I had a certain level of AA myself, and intend on figthing against it with all the tips i just read. Special thanks to XFMAN


The best way to deal with the AA is going out and do something about it. Go out and talk with everyone start with small stuff and then try to get into a more interesting conversation... ;)

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 7:00 pm 
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Well, im thinking on trying this i really want to overcome AA. But problem is im afraid of people telling me to get lost or looking me weird. Thats my main setback.
Any tips regarding that?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:11 am 
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I'm gonna have to try this :)

To the above poster as was stated good sir if this is the worst that happens then you should have no fear of it happening.

It's better to regret something u did than something you did'nt do. As they say.

Better to do it than kick yourself for not for me atleast.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:19 am 
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Has anyone seen the show 'Cupid'. It was a 1998 NBC series staring Jeremy Piven, now of 'Entourage' fame. There's one episode in particular that applies directly to this topic. Meat Market.

In the ep, Piven's character comes up with a game that those who have stalled after trying the 'Say Hi to random people' step. These four guys are being wallflowers in a club on Halloween. They're afraid of rejection. So, Piven tells them to "go out and collect rejection". The guy who get's rejected the most gets a bottle of champagne bought by the guy that get's rejected the least.

I know going out planning to get shot down seems counter intuitive, but a lot of techniques do. If you have a good wing, or a group of friends that are budding pick up artists, I suggest trying your own version of this game.

To quote Piven:

Quote:
Rejection is good. If you get rejected, it means you're in the game


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:37 am 
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Quote:
Rejection is good. If you get rejected, it means you're in the game


.......and thats fucking retarded. How would it be good to get rejected and how would that put you in the "game"?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:09 am 
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What happens a lot of time is something I call approach blankness. When I just don't feel any emotion when I'm talking to someone so I'm just blankfaced and deadpan. It can work if they can feel me thru my dry sense of humor but usually when thI can't express or feel any emotions the interaction is over quickly or its just a quick exchange, like commenting to someone getting no response and I keep walking. Anyone ever experience this?

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Last edited by xibuz on Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:32 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 12:55 pm 
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The point is getting rejected means you're actually trying. Instead of sitting at home on the computer, or collecting comics. Putting yourself out there is tough, but the more you put yourself out there, the more you realize that it's more fun than wishing you had.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 12:19 pm 
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About that 3 seconds rule:

I notice each time again approaching for me is no problem at all (although I still feel in some situations some AA) as long as I know BEFORE I step to a girl exactly what I am going to say. But...walking on to a girl without any opening in mind yet is a big difference for me and I didn't have the guts for it yet . Simple, because I am pretty sure it will turn out to something like:

ME: "Hi"
HB: "Hi"

(silence.....silence....)

HB: (face changing like if I am a fool)
HB: (moves along)

Therefor my question: How do I have to interpret that 3 seconds rule in this.
Does this rule mean that you already have the text or at least the idea of what you are going to say in mind just before approaching, or is meant that you walk to her with an 'empty' mind with the idea I just will see what I 'm going to say when I stand in front of her?


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:45 am 
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interpret the 3-second rule as exactly that. The point of it is to not get stuck in your head and over thinking and then not acting. The stuff to talk about will pop into your head with practice and calibration.


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