How did you, personally, overcome AA?


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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:05 pm 
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I know, I know, to overcome you just need to approach, right? But how?

I'm fine talking to people in social situations and I'm confident when first meeting new people, again in social situations such as a party. However, when it comes to women on the street, I just freeze up and make excuses for myself.

I feel like I overthink what I'm going to say and then pussy out. I've heard about the three second rule but whenever I see a girl and walkover, I just have nothing to say, realise this and don't even say 'hi'.

The thing is, I'm confident in myself, I know I'm above average in the looks department and I'm good at being sociable in social situations, my friends have told me people often ask about me after I've met them for the first time at a party, I just want to transfer this confidence into day/street game.

It's because I don't 'try' in social situation, whereas on the street, I know the material is canned and I feel deceptive. However, if I go over without any canned material, I just have nothing to say.

Anyone got any tips for a newbie?

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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:10 pm 
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Go to a club with alot of people and alot of different rooms.

Walk around like you FUCKING OWN THE PLACE (literally, act like a manager or something)

Simply approach sets and say "Are you guys having a good time?" *nod your head as you are doing this. Monkey see, monkey do. Assume positive things*

This will help you overcome the fear of approaching random people and allow you to realize how receptive people are as long as you are giving off a positive vibe.

Little trick I teach my students ;)

Good luck!

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PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2013 9:57 pm 
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Why don't you just be direct? Let them know you're interested, say "I saw you across the street and though you were stunning." or whatever you want. Something that doesn't feel canned to you.

After wards just let the conversation flow and have some light friendly/fun/flirty conversation while introducing yourself. Nothing too game-like or try hard. You don't wanna scare them off.

The fact that you let them know your intentions confidently like a real man will be enough to get them interested and wanting to talk to you. And if they don't want to talk, fuck it. Move on and find someone who does.

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PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 6:37 am 
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I refused to climb the ladder. I was either go big or go home. When I first started doing cold approach, I only approached 8s, 9s, and 10s. It was a bit harder to get the engine going, I had to give myself pep talks every single time prior my first set. So I mustered up every ounce of courage I had and the very first set of my cold approach ever was this HB9 walking around like she owned the mall. It was just a simple "Hey can you tell me where is the Express store is?. That was it. I kept doing it until I was desensitized to hot women.

Once you do it for about a month, you'll realize even as hot as they are, they still have flaws, they are still human and you'll stop being intimidated. Recently I met Jessica Alba at her book signing and had a quick chat with her, it also helped me greatly. You can use this as a quick fix also. Go to a book signing or charity even where it allows you to be face to face with a celebrity, you'll soon realize your approach anxiety is nothing but mere hallucinations. By the way, I chanted this every time to give myself courage, so hopefully it helps.

"My fear is always about what's going to happen next. Things that are not exist. Therefore, my fear is 100% imaginary. It's not real, it's my imagination. Nothing more. Nothing less."

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PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 7:15 pm 
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I did the shopping centre initiation. Say "hey" to every woman you see for an hour. It didn't work that well it is easy to say hey. Later I used a compliment routine, I would compliment couples on something and make a joke about hitting on them. When you are doing it in front of a guy it gets easier much more quickly.

Sherlock

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PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 10:01 pm 
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Have you never asked a stranger on the street the time? Or for directions?
It doesn't have to be anything more than that at this stage, the idea is
to just to get you out there talking to people.

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PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 11:49 pm 
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Thanks for all the suggestions guys.

I've recently been finding it much easier to approach, starting by asking directions and then onto opinion openers. Gonna work on direct approaches and moving conversation on now.

I'm still not there, but for anyone reading who wants to over come AA:

Change your mindset! I realised my problem was that I was scared of approaching because I still had it in my head that I wanted to pick them up. As TrueFlame said, forget about that, just start being sociable and talking to anyone about anything. Huge help.

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PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 1:07 am 
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My advice here is, you see i beautiful girls walking down the street, you want to approach her so badly and you don't know what to say... SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, tell her she's adorable, cute, pretty anything that pops into your head. Don't freaking care how she reacts, you felt it, you wanted to share it with her, it's up to her will she accept it (secret tip: they ussualy accept it :D). By all that you show her that you like her, want her and don't give a damn if she rejects you, it's more alfa than you can imagine. Remember: Heart. Mind. Balls.

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PostPosted: Mon May 27, 2013 4:27 am 
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I have the same problem. I am decent when it comes to flirting and talking to women. But my problem is I have a fear of approaching in public where I feel everyone is watching. The thing that worked for me is a "fuck it" attitude and remembering that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Hope this helps. :D


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PostPosted: Mon May 27, 2013 3:27 pm 
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Great thread with some really useful tips. Personally, I find that direct openers are the best!


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PostPosted: Mon May 27, 2013 10:49 pm 
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I'm more indirect, I never found going direct to help AA or even help the sets 'go better.' I pick a general opener I can use in the venue, just something to get me in the door, then I go out. AA is a behavioral pattern, so I started paying attention to the pattern and started doing things to intentionally break it.

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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 3:17 pm 
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I recently took a friend to a mall- about an hour ago - and demonstrated on a girl whom I hugged goodbye and kissed on the cheek but could not even get him to say hello to a male security guard. Over an hour I talked with two people and three groups, men and women alike, but I could not get my friend to say a word.

Does anyone have any tips for him as they may inadvertently help the person who started this thread, though it sounds as if he at least can say hello to a girl. Some perspective may help. My friend can easily talk to people who are connected to his life such as school friends or lecturers but has a 'block' as he calls it. He is eager to learn what I do but cannot be helped unless he gets this first step.

Sherlock.

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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 3:56 pm 
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SherlockHolmes wrote:
I recently took a friend to a mall- about an hour ago - and demonstrated on a girl whom I hugged goodbye and kissed on the cheek but could not even get him to say hello to a male security guard. Over an hour I talked with two people and three groups, men and women alike, but I could not get my friend to say a word.

Does anyone have any tips for him as they may inadvertently help the person who started this thread, though it sounds as if he at least can say hello to a girl. Some perspective may help. My friend can easily talk to people who are connected to his life such as school friends or lecturers but has a 'block' as he calls it. He is eager to learn what I do but cannot be helped unless he gets this first step.

Sherlock.


FORCE him to do it. Open a set for him and just fucking leave him there. Find a girl and just say "Hey! My friend thinks you are cute!" and traumatize him. That's the only way people over come fear... is by experiencing trauma. Fear is something that isn't real. It exists only in your head. Danger is real... But a 120 pound girl poses no threat to him. Make him experience the fear and realize there is no danger.

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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 4:04 pm 
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I'll try that and post a result.

Sherlock

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2013 9:47 pm 
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I think the most effective way is, as suggested, you open a set and let him roast. Afterwards, have him explain how he felt, and which negative beliefs he had about himself, and give him something positive to replace them with next time, so they don't worsen if he's got low self-esteem.


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