I have been diagnosed with the mental illnesses OCD and OCPD. These disorders have both helped and hurt my game, this is my story. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder are both anxiety disorders characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry. In an attempt to reduce these thoughts repetitive and compulsive behaviors are performed to reducing the associated anxiety and obsessions.
It is a really weird disorder and the things people do to reduce their obsessive thoughts are even more peculiar. I never got into the stereotypical OCD behaviors but my brain chemistry is the same. The best way I can describe what OCD feels like is having one thought on your mind for eight to ten hours which you can not control, and does not go away. I did not even know that I was sick or that the weird feeling in my body was called anxiety. I thought everyone dealt with intrusive and unwanted thoughts.
Some how I was able to get a girlfriend in college and after we graduated I moved to another state to live with her. When we broke up the thoughts of my ex-girlfriend would not leave my mind, and I had to be hospitalized. I was having anxiety attacks and my brain was hurting because thoughts and memories of our relationship did not leave. It took the right therapist and the correct medication to finally make a difference. Currently OCD does not control my life, like it once did, and is now just really annoying.
After reading The Game and The Mystery Method I gained a new perspective on dating. These books have changed my life and I am looking forward to meeting more beautiful women. Although having an anxiety disorder does make the game a little harder. I deal with a disassociation anxiety that effects every part of my interaction with people, including women.
There are some positives to having these disorder. People with OCD tend to have an above average intelligence which is a good thing. I generally tend to be obsessed with things that are of importance to me. I have also heard that obsessions are passions, which is another plus. My new focus has been learning as much as I can about the art of seduction and pick up. Whether it's learning new material or memorizing routines, I am working hard on my game.
These disorders do not define me and have allowed me to become extremely focused on what I put my mind too. In a way I am somewhat grateful for them. If this sounds familiar to anyone I would love to hear your stories with OCD, women, seduction, and the world of pick up artists.
Thanks for reading
I'm very glad that you've decided to openly share your story about your OCD and the related anxiety disorder, because I have gone through a similar experience.
My story is that I also had intrusive thoughts related to my HIV/AIDS trauma that I experienced
during my adolescence. For years, many different sexual and HIV infection-related thoughts were disturbing me so much that they affected my everyday life, because I got stuck in the trouble of abnormally and repeatedly checking things that I was touching just to make sure I don't get infected with HIV.
Fortunately, today I am happy to say that most of these OCD intrusive thoughts are now part of my past and I am able to control any one of them if they appear in my head. I could say that these days I actually don't have the trouble with any disturbing intrusive thoughts at all.
Here's what's been going on in my life for the past 15 years after my battle with the OCD intrusive thoughts.
About 15 years ago, I became obsessed with the idea of picking up and having sex with countless number of beautiful women for the rest of my life. I got very good at some parts of the seduction game like approaching and opening random women anywhere in public, getting their phone numbers and sexually escalating with them in terms of kinoing. I was doing this for years until a sudden, severe approach anxiety that I'd never had before struck me like crazy.
Please, note that during all these years before experiencing this sudden, severe approach anxiety, I still didn't know about the pickup arts community. So, I was kind of a self-made pickup artist during that time. I'm telling you this because this annoying approach anxiety hit me soon after I started learning and implementing different pickup artists' material (including The Game by Neil Strauss).
So, about 3 years ago when my abnormally high approach anxiety hit me so hard that I really started to feel as if I was losing not only my mental health but also my whole self, I realized that what was causing me to experience such disturbing approach anxiety were two things:
1) I was feeling so much pressure and anxiety even at the very thought of going out to my local supermarket to buy something to eat that I started looking at public places like trams and buses as an endless sea full of evil, hungry sharks where the sharks were all those beautiful women that I felt forced to boldly approach, flirt with and pick up no matter what. I could say that I was totally distressed at the time.
2) I started to slowly understand that the whole idea of desperately wanting to pick up and have sex with as many beautiful women as possible during my entier lifetime was not really part of my true passion, because I clearly realized that I didn't truly love and enjoy this habit at all. What helped me realize this was reading the bestselling book "The Passion Test: The Effortless Path To Discovering Your Life Purpose" (by Chris and Janet Attwood) that I'd found after my desperate search for the answer to how to live the rest of my life as effortlessly as all successful people do based on following and cashing in on their true passions.
Needless to say that I went into this desperate search because being obsessively involved in the whole pickup game made me so mentally sick and tired that it was really high time for me to do something about it.
So, here's what happened next.
The above book helped me completely understand that my whole activity of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach, flirt with and pick up random women wherever I'd go was purely my obsession, and not my true passion.
By the way, later I also learned that obsession and passion are definitely two different things. Obsession is a mental disorder in which feelings of anxiety, obsessional thoughts, compulsive acts, and physical complaints, without objective evidence of disease, dominate the personality. It is also a synonym for neurosis that's a relatively mild personality disorder typified by excessive anxiety or indecision and a degree of social or interpersonal maladjustment.
In short, obsession is an abnormal, anxiety-driven behavior that you often cannot control. On the other hand, passion is something that you do effortlessly or anxiety-free, because you really and truly enjoy it.
Now, referring back to your post, I guess that you could look at your anxiety disorder as a type of neurotic, obsessional or anxiety-driven behavior that you can hardly control.
To better understand why I'd now like to suggest that you seriously consider leaving the whole pickup game, I'm going to share with you the links to my two posts published here on the forums, because I don't want to take up much of your time reading a very long and almost endless message.
The first link refers to my reply to the post from a guy who has an anxiety disorder like you. To read it,
just click on this link: Solutions in unexpected places.
And, the second link refers to my recent post titled: Neurotic around women? 2 Reasons You Should Stop It Now!!
By the way, by reading the above two posts, you'll also be able to learn about the rest of my story where I got stuck in a couple of more mental disorders.
Please, feel free to either reply to me here or send me a private message after you're done reading these two posts.
Hope you've found this post helpful.