I'm having a hard time getting my 1st approach



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 10:19 pm 
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I'm hella frustrated and I just want to start approaching and talking with girls
I don't really have approach ANXIETY, I just kind of accept the fact that I'm too pussy to approach so I don't feel any anxiety really I just don't approach and it frustrates me because I'm wasting my summer and my life and I'm so damn horny LOL on day 17 of nofap
Anyone has some legit opinions\advices on my kind of situation? (


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:09 pm 
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LielS wrote:
I'm hella frustrated and I just want to start approaching and talking with girls
I don't really have approach ANXIETY, I just kind of accept the fact that I'm too pussy to approach so I don't feel any anxiety really I just don't approach and it frustrates me because I'm wasting my summer and my life and I'm so damn horny LOL on day 17 of no fap
Has anyone some legit opinions\advices on my kind of situation? (


Hey, I just want to start by saying that I approach issues differently. I have an extensive background in psychology and that dictates how I approach issues. With that being said, I think I have an idea that will help you.

First off, the person that started this "no fap" thing is an absolute retard. Masturbation is as old as time itself and it is natural. You SHOULD masturbate or reach climax daily and it is unhealthy to deprive yourself of something so biologically engrained into us. Watching porn is what people should have an issue with and even then, there is no real peer reviewed study showing that showing that porn is bad to watch. It can be addictive and give you unrealistic expectations of sex, but if you have had sex before you already know what that is like. Anyways, I would never recommend people jump on trends like the no fap one because most of the time, they are just dumb and actually hurt you in the long run. Testicular cancer risk is proven to go up with no fap. That is the only provable correlation with not reaching climax regularly. Yes, your body does move the dead sperm through your body but it isn't meant to move all of it. It can congeal into gross yellow strands because your body simply is not meant to move all that dead sperm. With that being said, you should masturbate because it will help you with your approach.It releases all kinds of hormones including testosterone which helps with confidence and feeling more manly.

Secondly, your mindset is way off. You are desperate but at the same time have declared that you are a failure before even trying. Before you can start pulling girls, you need to work on your self-confidence. No woman dreams of being with a guy that is not self-confident. You do have approach anxiety because you have something called AINT(Automatic Intrusive Negative Thoughts) telling you that you are a failure before you even start. This is a form of anxiety that may be felt differently than you normally feel it. You most likely won't like this answer because it isn't a quick fix, there really is not one for AINT or for being in the scarcity mindset people get into when they are extremely horny. What you need to do is form a daily morning routine and not worry about approaching for a few weeks.

Somebody I really like is Stefan James. He has a guide to forming a morning routine http://projectlifemastery.com/my-new-morning-ritual-how-to-be-even-more-productive-happy-and-healthy-everyday/

I am not associated with Stefan at all, this is just simply the number one thing that helped me get into my Alpha male mindset everyday. If you do that for 30 days you will be pulling girls easily because you will believe in yourself. You decide your future and right now, you are deciding you are a failure and that you can't get girls which is sad. Change your reality! Also, stop the no fap BS that fad is just that, a fad.

If you have any other psychological based questions let me know. This probably was not the answer you were looking for but it is the best answer for you.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 8:36 pm 
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LearnEasyDating.com wrote:
LielS wrote:
I'm hella frustrated and I just want to start approaching and talking with girls
I don't really have approach ANXIETY, I just kind of accept the fact that I'm too pussy to approach so I don't feel any anxiety really I just don't approach and it frustrates me because I'm wasting my summer and my life and I'm so damn horny LOL on day 17 of no fap
Has anyone some legit opinions\advices on my kind of situation? (


Hey, I just want to start by saying that I approach issues differently. I have an extensive background in psychology and that dictates how I approach issues. With that being said, I think I have an idea that will help you.

First off, the person that started this "no fap" thing is an absolute retard. Masturbation is as old as time itself and it is natural. You SHOULD masturbate or reach climax daily and it is unhealthy to deprive yourself of something so biologically engrained into us. Watching porn is what people should have an issue with and even then, there is no real peer reviewed study showing that showing that porn is bad to watch. It can be addictive and give you unrealistic expectations of sex, but if you have had sex before you already know what that is like. Anyways, I would never recommend people jump on trends like the no fap one because most of the time, they are just dumb and actually hurt you in the long run. Testicular cancer risk is proven to go up with no fap. That is the only provable correlation with not reaching climax regularly. Yes, your body does move the dead sperm through your body but it isn't meant to move all of it. It can congeal into gross yellow strands because your body simply is not meant to move all that dead sperm. With that being said, you should masturbate because it will help you with your approach.It releases all kinds of hormones including testosterone which helps with confidence and feeling more manly.

Secondly, your mindset is way off. You are desperate but at the same time have declared that you are a failure before even trying. Before you can start pulling girls, you need to work on your self-confidence. No woman dreams of being with a guy that is not self-confident. You do have approach anxiety because you have something called AINT(Automatic Intrusive Negative Thoughts) telling you that you are a failure before you even start. This is a form of anxiety that may be felt differently than you normally feel it. You most likely won't like this answer because it isn't a quick fix, there really is not one for AINT or for being in the scarcity mindset people get into when they are extremely horny. What you need to do is form a daily morning routine and not worry about approaching for a few weeks.

Somebody I really like is Stefan James. He has a guide to forming a morning routine http://projectlifemastery.com/my-new-morning-ritual-how-to-be-even-more-productive-happy-and-healthy-everyday/

I am not associated with Stefan at all, this is just simply the number one thing that helped me get into my Alpha male mindset everyday. If you do that for 30 days you will be pulling girls easily because you will believe in yourself. You decide your future and right now, you are deciding you are a failure and that you can't get girls which is sad. Change your reality! Also, stop the no fap BS that fad is just that, a fad.

If you have any other psychological based questions let me know. This probably was not the answer you were looking for but it is the best answer for you.


First of all I have to say thank you for your reply - I think that morning routine will be life changing I'll write on that now

So first thing's first NoFap- My focus is on not watching porn and wasting my time on it- and not watching it obviously has benefits for me as I am not masturbating too. I'm at this state right now that no matter what you'll tell me on why NoFap is bad wont change my mind on what I think of it and what benefits it gives so we will drop that one.

confidence- I don't think I have a confidence problem. I am the last person on earth to say "I'm a failure". oh hell no! I know what I am worth, how hard working I am, I look good and I'm blessed with my life but I just need some bonuses to it haha. I seriously never thought to myself that I'm a failure..
.
That morning ritual- at first sight I thought to myself "I don't need that" but as I kept reading I realized this could be life changing for me as I'm having some issues being productive throughout the day. I wrote everything down and I'm ready to start it tomorrow! Doing a 30 day challenge and hopefully I can commit cause this seems legit. my ritual will be wake up-smile-meditiate(do that priming stuff)-drink lemon water-jump up and down and say affirmations out loud-read 10 pages of a book-celebrate-plan the day-eat and start with doing the most important thing I need to do. :)

thanks again for your response,tell me what you think!


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 9:02 pm 
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They call it approach anxiety as shorthand, sure you may not have actual clinical "anxiety," but you've got run of the mill AA as we call it for shorthand.

Only you can determine when you will make that first approach.

We all had to cross that line at some point.

For me it was because enough was enough!

You're afraid of rejection, that's normal.

So was I.

Just go up to the girl and comment on something going on around the two of you. The worst that can happen is she ignores you or rolls her eyes or walks away (99.9999% chance this won't happen). However you will have started a positive chain of events for your life.

It's all on you though to lay your ass on the line and take the action you want to take.

Bottom line: have fun :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:07 pm 
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The pickup game I'm hearing now from RSD and others is to not treat opening the way it was done in the past. No more routines and FTCs and negs. The way to do it now is much more informal and relaxed. Don't get too in your head about it. Just throw out lots of little hooks to everyone and see what bites. Old ladies, kids, men,HBs....it doesn't matter just talk to as many humans as you can. Eventually odds are that one of these people will be a girl you really like, and she'll like you back. But it can't happen unless you take action.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:59 pm 
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I'm completely with you on the idea of No Fap. And I want to encourage you to continue to do so.

90% of my clients that have struggled the most with women turned out to be chronic masturbators. Meaning they masturbated at least once again. Changing that one behavior allowed them to see a significant increase in the confidence, motivation, and the attention they were getting women. This is a no brainer. Over ejaculation and its negative effects have been written about thousands of years. I'm personally experienced it, and everyone that i have ever worked with has experienced it as well. Now thats not the say you can not masturbate and still get laid because you can, but that habit, whether its with porn or not has destroyed the motivation of many men who developed the chronic habit before developing their skillset with women. Especially those born on the lower end of the testosterone levels. There is a chapter in the book " Think And Grow Rich" completely about this. Chapter 11 Titled - Sexual Transmutation

As far as your first approach.. Try this quote on for size:

Quote:
I will act now. I will act now. I will act now. Henceforth, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, everyday, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success. I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again. I will walk where failures fear to walk. I will work when failures seek rest. I will act now for now is all I have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy. I am not lazy. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not a failure. I will act now. Success will not wait. If I delay, success will become wed to another and lost to me forever. This is the time. This is the place. I am the person. - Og Mandino

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 5:00 am 
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Firstly, I want to let you know that Social Anxiety is not exactly anything new, so you don’t need to worry or get upset. All you need is help which I guess is what you are seeking. The simplest way to cure Social Anxiety is through this The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, I believe this is just an awesome system that helps you get even with things and you start feeling the difference!


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