My cluelessness is killing me



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2017 3:18 pm 
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Okay, so I just got out of a relationship that lasted over 3 years, which means I've been out of the game for a while. I'm currently talking to this girl on Match and things seem to be going well. I don't feel like I'm doing a magic trick while talking to her, so that's good. I've decided to take the "just be honest and authentic" approach. We plan to get together for a quick meet sometime later this week, so I locked that down but it still seems like she pulls away at times. Sometimes she'll send me a really detailed and open message but then sometimes it seems like she backs up (doesn't answer whatever question I've asked her like what does she do for work). I have to say that she seems to like to drive the conversation, so it kind of leaves me wondering what I should do. I am of the understanding that as men who don't want to end up in the friend zone we need to move the conversation forward so that it goes somewhere romantic (this also stops the conversation from being boring), but it seems like she's not necessarily biting. I'm an interesting, caring and funny person, but I have to be comfortable. How do I allow that natural part of myself to come out? I feel like things will be much easier once I figure out how to do that. I have the ability to be fun and attractive, but it seems like I get scared.


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PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 4:42 am 
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What you wrote is literally like the manifesto of an AFC. I mean it has all the hallmarks. Oneitis, neediness, emphasis on messaging over real communication.

Let me break it down for you. NOTHING matters before you meet her. All the texting and messaging, it doesn't mean anything. It's just time filler, fluff. There's no point in reading into it since whatever your analysis results in, still doesn't get you laid. Trust me, the natural you will come out once you've established a physical relationship with her and she accepts you as a sexual partner and potential long term companion.

The whole reason there is game in the first place is to get your foot in the door and get you to a point where whoever or whatever you truly are can actually be seen. Don't try to be the caring sensitive guy. Be the manly sexual charismatic confident guy. She'll like that better.

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PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 2:47 pm 
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Hey, I appreciate you being blunt, man. I won't deny that I'm an AFC and I'll tell you why. I've spent my whole adult life doing the right things. I went through school, got a good, stable job and have had LTRs that I've had the intention of turning into potential marriages and families. But for all that, sometimes it seems like I haven't gotten shit. For being nice and doing what I'm supposed to, all I get is a boring ass job and nothing but a ridiculously platonic relationship with women. I'm sick of it. This is why the world is a bad place, because well meaning people are seldom rewarded. The people who get things out of life are scum of the Earth douchebags like Donald Trump.

I don't feel it's right that I should have to act like anything other than myself to attract people though. It's not honest either. I'm supposed to be Donald Trump until I lock her down and then I turn back into my normal self? I feel like that's a recipe for disaster because the girl fell for the douchebag version of me. I'm probably out of line here with my thinking, but sometimes it seems like game works because most women really aren't looking for what they say they are. They don't want a nice, caring, honest guy. They want some jack off like they've seen on TV or something. It can make a guy a little pessimistic and it honestly breeds a poor view of women to think this stuff. Anyway, thanks for being the target of my rant. I needed that. Maybe you can guide me toward the light.


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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2017 5:39 am 
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Hey, I appreciate you being blunt, man. I won't deny that I'm an AFC and I'll tell you why. I've spent my whole adult life doing the right things. I went through school, got a good, stable job and have had LTRs that I've had the intention of turning into potential marriages and families. But for all that, sometimes it seems like I haven't gotten shit. For being nice and doing what I'm supposed to, all I get is a boring ass job and nothing but a ridiculously platonic relationship with women. I'm sick of it. This is why the world is a bad place, because well meaning people are seldom rewarded. The people who get things out of life are scum of the Earth douchebags like Donald Trump.


I think you have a low self esteem, and yes it does not matter how good you are or always doing the right thing and getting nothing in return but this is how real life is, learn game there are a lot good threads and info on this forum even people willing to help you, girls are human and as all human they like the adrenaline the excitement in life they like guys with goals and dreams, have you offered that to any of your ltr? what are you offering them?... women like leaders are a leader or follower? learn game learn the basics, change your mindset
and you will see the difference, and yes bad boys get the girls, why? because they offer what you don't. they are natural alpha males with strong attitude, leaders in their group louder voice, probably taller than average, confidence and high esteem, women see that as demonstration of high value and creates attraction.


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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2017 3:53 am 
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HenryHill wrote:
This is why the world is a bad place, because well meaning people are seldom rewarded. .

It's not a bad place. It's an abundant place with hundreds of millions of beautiful women. You just have a fucked up frame and believe yourself to be a victim simply because other people have figured out what you haven't.

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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2017 7:50 pm 
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HenryHill wrote:
Hey, I appreciate you being blunt, man. I won't deny that I'm an AFC and I'll tell you why. I've spent my whole adult life doing the right things. I went through school, got a good, stable job and have had LTRs that I've had the intention of turning into potential marriages and families. But for all that, sometimes it seems like I haven't gotten shit. For being nice and doing what I'm supposed to, all I get is a boring ass job and nothing but a ridiculously platonic relationship with women. I'm sick of it. This is why the world is a bad place, because well meaning people are seldom rewarded. The people who get things out of life are scum of the Earth douchebags like Donald Drumpf.

I don't feel it's right that I should have to act like anything other than myself to attract people though. It's not honest either. I'm supposed to be Donald Drumpf until I lock her down and then I turn back into my normal self? I feel like that's a recipe for disaster because the girl fell for the douchebag version of me. I'm probably out of line here with my thinking, but sometimes it seems like game works because most women really aren't looking for what they say they are. They don't want a nice, caring, honest guy. They want some jack off like they've seen on TV or something. It can make a guy a little pessimistic and it honestly breeds a poor view of women to think this stuff. Anyway, thanks for being the target of my rant. I needed that. Maybe you can guide me toward the light.


I used to feel exactly like that. I was too nice, never made a move, and got myself friendzoned over and over. Painful. Not to mention the times I got friendzoned by a crush who ended up dating a jerk. Really pissed me off.

You're right. Women generally don't respond to the attributes they say they want. They are usually completely unaware of what turns them on. But the jerk/nice guy continuum is a fallacy. They respond to jerks simply because those guys aren't willing to compromise their boundaries and values in order to be with a woman. You can be nice AND maintain values and boundaries at the same time. It's a thing. Made all the difference for me.

How does that land for you?

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