Angry and tired of anxiety



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:39 am 
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Just looking for some advice. Having issues with approaching..I've always been rejected growing up in school from elementary all the way to high school always quiet because people used to always fuck with me, so this was something I guess has stayed with me always told I was unattractive made fun of you know things of that sort. So growing up I became afraid of going out stayed inside and played nothing but video games until one day I said you know what FUCK this. I started going out by myself socializing more and now I go out by myself had made lots of friends I'm able to let go in a social club setting were I can feed off of the energy I've noticed I'm more willing to go up to a girl which I have multiple times have gotten rejected no problem, which now in that area I'm trying to solve how to take them home. But I noticed in a more calm setting like a coffee shop or the mall or even county fairs I have massive anxiety to approach and it really fucking pisses me off. I just need some advice I NEED to get rid of this because I will refuse to let this fucking disease of having anxiety beat me. I'm on my own don't have anyone in my area to get advice from, most of my friends don't have that go for the kill mentality so I'm alone usually don't want to bring any of weakness in. So if anyone could help me out as to what I could do. I'd appreciate it because I'm angry and tired.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:52 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Remember how you got to the point of where you said FUCK this? Take that same attitude to the coffee shop, mall, and Country Fair.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:22 am 
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You're already going out and taking action right now, so give yourself credit just for that. Almost nobody is doing daygame, even the people that i know who are into pickup (they all primarily do nightgame).


The only long-term cure to your anxiety problem in social settings is to keep exposing yourself to awkward social situations (this is what works for me, i also have your same issues). Talk to people (especially girls) in situations that you normally would think is awkward. I have 2 examples of a couple of drills that you can actually do in the field, that can help you out with your approach & social anxieties.


Example 1: Approach a group of guys that you don't know at the bar. Look friendly, smile, and give them all high fives.

Example 2: Approach a cute or hot girl sitting alone at a table at a Starbucks. Tell her "While i was standing over there..i saw you sitting alone, so i decided to come over and tell you that i think you're cute." Again..smile when you say this to the girl.


Doing these type of drills daily, will increasingly desensitize you to the fear of approaching people and being social. These are only 2 examples. There's plenty of similar drills that you can do to help you get this issue handled. In most cases..nothing bad will happen, and you will actually make their day. And in return..it will make your day that you offered them value (you'll get value in return). They will give you positive feedback in return. It's a positive feedback loop..stemming from you taking that action. If you don't feel like smiling..fake it! You will still get positive value in return if you commit to the action of approaching people in this type of way.


-G

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LEARNING GAME IS LAME!..Right up until the point when you will eventually see a hot girl standing or sitting right in front of you. In that moment..you will wish that you had learned game!


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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2017 7:36 pm 
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alexp11 wrote:
Just looking for some advice. Having issues with approaching..I've always been rejected growing up in school from elementary all the way to high school always quiet because people used to always fuck with me, so this was something I guess has stayed with me always told I was unattractive made fun of you know things of that sort. So growing up I became afraid of going out stayed inside and played nothing but video games until one day I said you know what FUCK this. I started going out by myself socializing more and now I go out by myself had made lots of friends I'm able to let go in a social club setting were I can feed off of the energy I've noticed I'm more willing to go up to a girl which I have multiple times have gotten rejected no problem, which now in that area I'm trying to solve how to take them home. But I noticed in a more calm setting like a coffee shop or the mall or even county fairs I have massive anxiety to approach and it really fucking pisses me off. I just need some advice I NEED to get rid of this because I will refuse to let this fucking disease of having anxiety beat me. I'm on my own don't have anyone in my area to get advice from, most of my friends don't have that go for the kill mentality so I'm alone usually don't want to bring any of weakness in. So if anyone could help me out as to what I could do. I'd appreciate it because I'm angry and tired.


In addition to what guys are telling you about gradual desensitization, I find that a reframe about anxiety itself really helps. Ask yourself, what is your relationship with anxiety? From what you're saying here is that you hate it and want it to go away forever. It makes you angry. Unfortunately, having a bad relationship with it just reinforces the mechanism in your brain. What you resist persists, as they say.

Once I realized that most of my problem with anxiety was my resistance to feeling the anxiety itself, I began to experiment. As I tried things that were out of my comfort zone, I made a conscious choice to allow myself to feel the anxiety as a biological phenomenon with all the things that come along with it. Elevated heart rate, sweating, awkwardness, blushing, saying dumb things, etc. I began to embrace the anxiety first and then let the chips fall after that. Focusing on letting the anxiety exist in the moment also helped me detach from the outcome. I started to stop worrying about the girl I was talking to and began to relax into my own process. And before I knew it, the conversation would start to roll on its own.

Working on allowing anxiety to happen is where the gains are made, and over time, the anxiety itself will diminish.

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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2017 8:12 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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alexp11 wrote:
Just looking for some advice.


2nd time this week with similar advice.

Your base anxiety is fear of rejection from that hot girl at the coffee shop. I get it. A giant slap in your ego's balls.

I see two immediate problems.

You are a social cripple around hot women.

You don’t expand your dating territory towards women that are at your social level.

Go Hoggin'!!!

Approach a girl that's a little plainer, a little heavier, than your dream girl.

She will be easier to get a date with. If you are having trouble picking up more attractive woman with high self esteem, then go for one a little lower on the food chain.

You can get a girl like that to do just about anything you ask when you want her to! If you are just nice about it.

Get a few notches with a few of these girls, suddenly you'll realize how abundant girls actually are.

Don't worry, they WILL appreciate the chance to date YOU.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2017 3:14 am 
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When you are out in the field, let girls walk by you, or walk past them. Just say "HI". That's it! There is no pressure to perform. You say one two letter word. Hi. Then once you are comfortable with that, maybe do a whole sentence. Make observational comments. "Hey, that bracelet is kick ass." or "You look dressed to kill." Tone it down or be more provocative, its up to you. Again, its not hard to spit out a single sentence when you know there is nothing beyond it. You are not trying to close these girls. All you are doing is opening and allowing yourself to move along without feeling obligated to game them further and without burdening yourself with a sense of failure or rejection.

If you can start doing that, then you'll see that approaching itself is not that hard or scary. And when you get comfortable doing that, you'll see that conversations naturally arise from those openers. Yes, you need to learn routines or natural game too, but you have to get passed approach anxiety and opening to even stand a chance at mid game and closing.

Not to mention, closing is pretty easy too because all you have to do is ask them if they have a facebook or Instagram. You don't even need to number close anymore with as common as social media is.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 5:06 am 
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I can’t solve your problem instantly, but can at least help you….. Check here www.socialanxietycure.space


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