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#1- She is USING you as a replacement for her boyfriend.
#2- She has no REAL, TRUE, HONEST feelings for you.
#3- She is taking ADVANTAGE of you emotionally.
#4- She has no INTENTION of leaving her boyfriend OR being with you, EVER.
#5- She is LOWERING your self esteem and confidence and making you insecure.
#6- She doesn't RESPECT you.
#7- She is making you her BITCH and she KNOWS it.
i'll check if you're right. still you don't know anything about my self esteem.
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Next, start talking to as many women as you possibly can, young and old, all the time. I'm not saying to try and pick them all up, just talk to them and learn from those interactions. You'll be pleasantly surprised and even amazed at what you will learn about them and yourself.
thanks. those words helped me continue what i already did - yet more intensively.
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More women in your life means more potential options. You're a man and men should always have all the options they want or care to create for themselves, it's your right as a man. Once you have done all of this you will look back and realize how much time and energy you wasted on this one girl that didn't even deserve your attention beyond a simple hello or hi. Once you've learned these lessons in life your world will take on a new meaning.
i believe she's not quite who you think her to be. to give just one example: i got 3 birthday presents from her. she opened with an humorous item. i then was supposed to follow clues through my howl flat in order to find an lp of some of my favorite musicians. the lp in its cover was placed in another cover that she did herself, containing text that was referring to me, my name and important aspects of my life. the final present was a cake she baked. man she really puts some effort in our relationship. it's not that easy.
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The next lesson you should learn after that can be the following: "Beauty is common, what's really rare is a good personality, a great energy."
i know that lesson already, trust me. i'm not mislead by that. i already figured out who i can be with. she's a 10 in terms of personality.
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It's really funny how some guys here are telling you to "talk dirty" to her and "force her into bed" kind of stuff. This is not going to work, and I can clearly read that from your personality. The moment you start to seduce her is the moment you will lose this girl as a friend and as a fuck-buddy.
Her actions can be well-read. I've went through this a dozen of times and I'll tell you what this girl wants. This girl my friend wants to have fun and she's holding you on a leash. In other words, she's pussy-lashing you. She knows you'll come back when she says so, and she knows that you won't leave her because you are "emotionally attached".
The solution I'm going to provide you with is the only solution to keep her as a friend and as a potential fuck-buddy/girlfriend.
Keep contact with her, it's wrong to suddenly disconnect this girl from your life, she was your friend for a long time after-all. Go out and meet a girl or two and pretend that you are into one of them. This way, you are testing her. You'll get her jealous both ways, and you'll start to notice that she'll stick more to you because she's afraid of losing you. The moment you do this is the moment you'll gain control over her.
I want you to go out with the maximum number of girls, enjoy life and fuck as much as you can. If she suddenly loses her head and forces a topic with you, don't hesitate, just tell her that you liked her but she didn't give you a chance back then, and it'll be your decision to either keep her or friendzone her. If you see any signals of her doing the same (going out with guys), don't ever act like a fucking pussy and force a conversation on her, just keep living and she'll come back sooner or later.
All in all, act casual and enjoy your life. Work on improving your lifestyle because it sounds that the only thing that is on your mind right now is this girl.
this really helped me, man. thanks. i've noticed some moments of jealousy in the past; especially when i would hang out with her and her softball team. one of the girls was talking to me for quite a while. i helped her out twice when she was trying to find a word or catch a thought. she would finally go like "you're taking the words right out of my mouth." her reaction to that was.. "oooh, you're such a nice couple" with a biting voice, taking our hands, make us hold hands and then go "look how she's turning red!" while the other girl would go "no! you are turning red" followed by a little bitch fight.
all of the input i got in this forum helped me feel like i'm ready to meet other women also - for the first time in quite a while. seems like i have an almost clear head after a while. this made me go out more and stay more focused, work harder on some stuff also (not pu-related).
i was trying out some stuff with her too in the meantime. while my friend told me she would for sure go for the conversation about staying just friends, i talked to her on the phone and she certainly tried to avoid that as much as i did. i ended the call by saying "let's just leave it like that". i was playing with the thought not contacting her again and let her work, but finally figured out this would lead to a deep conversation more likely. i decided to contact her as if nothing has ever happened, asking her if she had seen the latest episode of a series already, we usually watch together. she seemed happy to hear from me. i'd let her wait for the next day, respond a little something in the early morning. she would instantly notice and tease me, why i was up so early. i'd just say it would be a long and busy day and not respond to her reaction for 4 days. i then decided to ask her to come to my place finally telling her i was in another town. the next day we would meet. she suggested to meet outside in town and go for a walk, which is unusual. i was so sure she would finally talk to me. not at all! we we're hanging out, having a drink later, playing pool. i told her i met my ex-girlfriend in my home town who was having a bad time since she split from her boyfriend (which was actually true). she showed some interest in her, asking what she was doing (which made it easy showing off with her a bit, since shes a hot latina). she would later work for my attention and tease me at the pool table all the time. after saying good bye very quickly and leaving just as fast she texted me 5 mins later, what she never does usually. some bullshit, not worth a text at all. haven't contacted her in 2 days, today she texted me if we would meet at university. we did and i was still in charge, playing it pretty well i believe.
since she's going to her home country this weekend (which i just know via facebook) my next move would be to ask her to do something amazing at the weekend, which should make her regret to go home (which she anyway does most of the time if it's true what she says).
there's a gorgeous bar which all the students go to. it closes on saturday - forever. this should be a good option for the move right?
so right now i'm working on building up attraction. i'll read stuff about things that are on my mind and look through the forums. any particular hints for this explicit situation?
cheers, reas0n