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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 8:18 pm 
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Hey guys,

this ones tricky. I've been friends with a girl for a year now. Heavy flirting from the beginning on, playing footsie, holding hands.

Shes a flirty type of girl, yet does things with me I assume she doesn't do to anyone else - except to her boyfriend probably. She's in a long distance relationship. For half a year she has known that I'm in love with her now. After revealing myself our contact was cold as ice. Things changed though and our relationship got more and more intense.

We're now laying in bed giving massages to each other. Hands, head, back. She would let me touch the inside of her thigh lately. She lets me bite und kiss her neck. Still she draws some lines from time to time; pushes me away a little when I try to touch her ass. She would stroke my howl back und chest with her fingernails gently and touch my nipples, but when I neg her to touch her nipples too, she goes "No Way!". It looks like something pulls her out of our world after a while and she pulls herself together like "Whats happening here? I better get up and turn the lights on."

Not sure how to make her feel comfortable enough and finally seduce her. Also from time to time I can feel shes less attracted to me. Any ideas how to go further? What would be a good action/routine here? How can i keep up the attraction? Any tips whats good to check out in my situation?

Thank you so much.


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 1:46 am 
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So she does all this and you don't know what to do? BRO stop being a wuss.

Let me help you:

BE A MAN, throw her shit on to the bed and say you want her - badly - talk dirty like you are some animal-machine. Most girls I've been with go nuts over this.

She wants you to be dominant, so do it.

GG WP IZI MODE


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 2:13 am 
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she doesn't want you, bro. She has a physical void where her boyfriend should be and she is using you to fill it. doing what the poster above me said might work for this same reason but it is highly unlikely. She doesn't want you to dominate her.. She wants you to be her gay friend.

Next time you are able to "cuddle" and give back massages, if she doesn't let you cross the boundaries, leave in the middle and don't talk to her for 5-7 days. Simply say "this doesn't feel right, I need to go" and leave. Don't listen to hear pleas . Avoid all of her texts, calls, emails, ect.. This will drive her crazy because you were filling a need a physical need. Pull this off correctly and you should ignite some emotions in her. After 5-7 days and a couple short replies (at most you reply "yes, no" to her texts), you tell her you want to meet and talk. You meet her, tell her you can't see her anymore because it isn't fair to you or her boyfriend, hug her, and leave. She will text you within 3 days saying she wants to be with you and pleading for you mercy. If you can somehow make her see "accidentally" you with another girl having a good time that would be excellent.

To be honest, the steps I laid out for you will have a success rate of 50%. This is much better than your current course of action that has a 20% . To break this down further - 10% that she falls in love with you, your back rubs, and your charming personality (ha) and 10% that she and her boyfriend break up and she uses you as a rebound. If the steps above don't work, who gives a fuck because honestly it really isn't fair to your or her boyfriend.

If you don't like anything i've just said than talk to your mom about it.


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 8:14 am 
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Might I add some more detail on the circumstances? Her boyfriend visited her 3 times in 2 years. While going back home every 1 or 2 weeks in her first year after moving, she now goes back once or twice in 2 months. I know he's a very jealous type of guy and I believe he tries to make her come home more often. When once in a while some dates of hers back home get cancelled, she stays and keeps saying she's actually happy not to go. Furthermore she doesn't want to live in her home country in the future any more - not at all as she says. Her boyfriend has a job though and doesn't seem like being up for moving if you ask me.
Quote:
So she does all this and you don't know what to do? BRO stop being a wuss.

Let me help you:

BE A MAN, throw her shit on to the bed and say you want her - badly - talk dirty like you are some animal-machine. Most girls I've been with go nuts over this.

She wants you to be dominant, so do it.

GG WP IZI MODE
That's what my ex-girflfriend keeps telling me.. But while being a wuss in the past for sure, not doing this once in a while when I was supposed to, it's so hard to cross the boundaries under these circumstances.
The best moment might have been 2 weeks ago when we haven't seen each other for almost 3 weeks. She was already breathing heavily while i touched her but all of a sudden we ran out of a series we watched. She would whine "Noo, why is it over now?". When I still tried to get back to things she would sit up, open SPAM and see if her mom was online which she "hadn't talked to in 13 days" and "who was waiting for her to call her".

As I feel it, in order to be able to act like you said, now I would have to build up some attraction again, since things got too normal again.

She's going to visit me in my howe town, probably staying for almost a week, during summer break. I guess I better build up some attraction 'til then..
Quote:
she doesn't want you, bro. She has a physical void where her boyfriend should be and she is using you to fill it. doing what the poster above me said might work for this same reason but it is highly unlikely. She doesn't want you to dominate her.. She wants you to be her gay friend.

Next time you are able to "cuddle" and give back massages, if she doesn't let you cross the boundaries, leave in the middle and don't talk to her for 5-7 days. Simply say "this doesn't feel right, I need to go" and leave. Don't listen to hear pleas . Avoid all of her texts, calls, emails, ect.. This will drive her crazy because you were filling a need a physical need. Pull this off correctly and you should ignite some emotions in her. After 5-7 days and a couple short replies (at most you reply "yes, no" to her texts), you tell her you want to meet and talk. You meet her, tell her you can't see her anymore because it isn't fair to you or her boyfriend, hug her, and leave. She will text you within 3 days saying she wants to be with you and pleading for you mercy. If you can somehow make her see "accidentally" you with another girl having a good time that would be excellent.

To be honest, the steps I laid out for you will have a success rate of 50%. This is much better than your current course of action that has a 20% . To break this down further - 10% that she falls in love with you, your back rubs, and your charming personality (ha) and 10% that she and her boyfriend break up and she uses you as a rebound. If the steps above don't work, who gives a fuck because honestly it really isn't fair to your or her boyfriend.

If you don't like anything i've just said than talk to your mom about it.
I'll have to do that if building up attraction and trying to escalate doesn't work. I guess not responding to her will have to be part of that. I guess it's still not the right time for this drastic move, couple of weeks before summer break. I will hold her from coming to my home town, sleeping in my bed for a week and she will most likely feel even more comfortable with her boyfriend during summer, if she goes home with the thought she can't rely on my presence anymore. Very hard to get back close to her also.

There's people who say you can use the so called friend zone to your benefit. Any ideas on that?


Last edited by reas0n on Tue May 20, 2014 8:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 8:20 am 
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keep us posted. and I see your point about her going home.. How long does she return home for?


Last edited by alphabro on Tue May 20, 2014 8:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 8:37 am 
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You are using the friend zone to your benefit!


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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 9:05 am 
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keep us posted. and I see your point about her going home.. How long does she return home for?
I guess 2 and a half months. Thank god she's about to visit me..
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You are using the friend zone to your benefit!
Of course.. stupid me. Any other suggestions what to do meanwhile?
We've been to sauna on sunday. While prior this was a pretty erotic experience (Creaming our backs with honey in a steam bath, i would pour honey over her tits und pussy to tease her.. She would tease me about having a boner in a hot tub, making me unable to go outside for minutes - finally leaving without me and while passing me, stroking my head and whispering "It's ok") she put a lot of effort in making this last sauna visit an act of friendship (still touched me inside of the sauna, but she was trying to act buddy-like most of the time).
I was a little distant on the way home and she noticed and tried hard to change my mood. She finally promised to send me some links via facebook and call me the next evening for watching a series. First she did, I wouldn't answer, second she didn't. Time to keep her in suspense right?


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PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2014 9:57 am 
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Ok, things are escalating. Not in a nice way though.

She recently hung out 2 howl days with my friend at a course. They started talking about friendships in general and she started talking about me. Seems she said to her it's a clear thing she only wants friendship and she doesn't know how to deal with everything. When my friend asked her where I take that idea from that there's more between us and if we ever got close, she replied, she had no idea and that we never got close. She told me friend she would intentionally not call me on monday, even though she promised to do so. My friend suggested to call me and clear things and talk about everything. Shit.

She called me and apologized for not calling on monday. She said some weird things like she was so tired when she got home and just fell asleep, that she doesn't want to feel guilty about not contacting me when shes not in the mood. When I asked her why she would tell me all that she lied to me and said she had just a feeling. After a while she would admit that she talked to my friend, but lied to me that it was her to bring up the topic.

My friend said she seemed to be determined to talk to me about she only wants friendship. On the phone though she asked me if we should meet today and talk or if we better just leave it. My friend also noticed that she was very afraid to loose me. That all kills me.. Seems she lies to everyone, me, my friend, her friends, her boyfriend


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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 7:48 am 
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#1- She is USING you as a replacement for her boyfriend.
#2- She has no REAL, TRUE, HONEST feelings for you.
#3- She is taking ADVANTAGE of you emotionally.
#4- She has no INTENTION of leaving her boyfriend OR being with you, EVER.
#5- She is LOWERING your self esteem and confidence and making you insecure.
#6- She doesn't RESPECT you.
#7- She is making you her BITCH and she KNOWS it.

I could go on with the list, but right now you're in denial so I won't. Until you realize the 7 points above, are truly convinced they are real and this is what is happening to you there is no help for you. Be a man and snap out of it.

You need to break the spell you're under. The reason you haven't done so yet is because you're under the illusion that there is a chance she will be yours one day.

You're confused, she has manipulated you to feel this way. As long as you're confused you will continue to go along with her game hoping that something you do will make a difference, that something you do will somehow make her realize what a great guy you are and how much you love her. It's not going to happen. You're not in love, you're infatuated. Man up and put an end to your suffering and stop torturing yourself.

After you've done all this, realize that there is an abundance of women in this world for you, a true to life fuckin abundance of women, billions of them. I'm not exaggerating here, the world is a big place. But let's forget about the world for now because just in your general vicinity there are more women than you know what to do with, you don't even have enough time for them all.

Next, start talking to as many women as you possibly can, young and old, all the time. I'm not saying to try and pick them all up, just talk to them and learn from those interactions. You'll be pleasantly surprised and even amazed at what you will learn about them and yourself.

More women in your life means more potential options. You're a man and men should always have all the options they want or care to create for themselves, it's your right as a man. Once you have done all of this you will look back and realize how much time and energy you wasted on this one girl that didn't even deserve your attention beyond a simple hello or hi. Once you've learned these lessons in life your world will take on a new meaning.

The next lesson you should learn after that can be the following: "Beauty is common, what's really rare is a good personality, a great energy." I'm paraphrasing, but that is from Mystery. Learn what is truly important in a women to you and settle for nothing less. A great way to do that is like I said above, be with a lot of women, that way you know what you like and what you don't.

Just next her bro, start with that and work your way up.


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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 8:22 am 
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It's really funny how some guys here are telling you to "talk dirty" to her and "force her into bed" kind of stuff. This is not going to work, and I can clearly read that from your personality. The moment you start to seduce her is the moment you will lose this girl as a friend and as a fuck-buddy.

Her actions can be well-read. I've went through this a dozen of times and I'll tell you what this girl wants. This girl my friend wants to have fun and she's holding you on a leash. In other words, she's pussy-lashing you. She knows you'll come back when she says so, and she knows that you won't leave her because you are "emotionally attached".

The solution I'm going to provide you with is the only solution to keep her as a friend and as a potential fuck-buddy/girlfriend.

Keep contact with her, it's wrong to suddenly disconnect this girl from your life, she was your friend for a long time after-all. Go out and meet a girl or two and pretend that you are into one of them. This way, you are testing her. You'll get her jealous both ways, and you'll start to notice that she'll stick more to you because she's afraid of losing you. The moment you do this is the moment you'll gain control over her.

I want you to go out with the maximum number of girls, enjoy life and fuck as much as you can. If she suddenly loses her head and forces a topic with you, don't hesitate, just tell her that you liked her but she didn't give you a chance back then, and it'll be your decision to either keep her or friendzone her. If you see any signals of her doing the same (going out with guys), don't ever act like a fucking pussy and force a conversation on her, just keep living and she'll come back sooner or later.

All in all, act casual and enjoy your life. Work on improving your lifestyle because it sounds that the only thing that is on your mind right now is this girl.


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PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 12:58 am 
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Quote:
#1- She is USING you as a replacement for her boyfriend.
#2- She has no REAL, TRUE, HONEST feelings for you.
#3- She is taking ADVANTAGE of you emotionally.
#4- She has no INTENTION of leaving her boyfriend OR being with you, EVER.
#5- She is LOWERING your self esteem and confidence and making you insecure.
#6- She doesn't RESPECT you.
#7- She is making you her BITCH and she KNOWS it.
i'll check if you're right. still you don't know anything about my self esteem.
Quote:
Next, start talking to as many women as you possibly can, young and old, all the time. I'm not saying to try and pick them all up, just talk to them and learn from those interactions. You'll be pleasantly surprised and even amazed at what you will learn about them and yourself.
thanks. those words helped me continue what i already did - yet more intensively.
Quote:
More women in your life means more potential options. You're a man and men should always have all the options they want or care to create for themselves, it's your right as a man. Once you have done all of this you will look back and realize how much time and energy you wasted on this one girl that didn't even deserve your attention beyond a simple hello or hi. Once you've learned these lessons in life your world will take on a new meaning.
i believe she's not quite who you think her to be. to give just one example: i got 3 birthday presents from her. she opened with an humorous item. i then was supposed to follow clues through my howl flat in order to find an lp of some of my favorite musicians. the lp in its cover was placed in another cover that she did herself, containing text that was referring to me, my name and important aspects of my life. the final present was a cake she baked. man she really puts some effort in our relationship. it's not that easy.
Quote:
The next lesson you should learn after that can be the following: "Beauty is common, what's really rare is a good personality, a great energy."
i know that lesson already, trust me. i'm not mislead by that. i already figured out who i can be with. she's a 10 in terms of personality.
Quote:
It's really funny how some guys here are telling you to "talk dirty" to her and "force her into bed" kind of stuff. This is not going to work, and I can clearly read that from your personality. The moment you start to seduce her is the moment you will lose this girl as a friend and as a fuck-buddy.

Her actions can be well-read. I've went through this a dozen of times and I'll tell you what this girl wants. This girl my friend wants to have fun and she's holding you on a leash. In other words, she's pussy-lashing you. She knows you'll come back when she says so, and she knows that you won't leave her because you are "emotionally attached".

The solution I'm going to provide you with is the only solution to keep her as a friend and as a potential fuck-buddy/girlfriend.

Keep contact with her, it's wrong to suddenly disconnect this girl from your life, she was your friend for a long time after-all. Go out and meet a girl or two and pretend that you are into one of them. This way, you are testing her. You'll get her jealous both ways, and you'll start to notice that she'll stick more to you because she's afraid of losing you. The moment you do this is the moment you'll gain control over her.

I want you to go out with the maximum number of girls, enjoy life and fuck as much as you can. If she suddenly loses her head and forces a topic with you, don't hesitate, just tell her that you liked her but she didn't give you a chance back then, and it'll be your decision to either keep her or friendzone her. If you see any signals of her doing the same (going out with guys), don't ever act like a fucking pussy and force a conversation on her, just keep living and she'll come back sooner or later.

All in all, act casual and enjoy your life. Work on improving your lifestyle because it sounds that the only thing that is on your mind right now is this girl.
this really helped me, man. thanks. i've noticed some moments of jealousy in the past; especially when i would hang out with her and her softball team. one of the girls was talking to me for quite a while. i helped her out twice when she was trying to find a word or catch a thought. she would finally go like "you're taking the words right out of my mouth." her reaction to that was.. "oooh, you're such a nice couple" with a biting voice, taking our hands, make us hold hands and then go "look how she's turning red!" while the other girl would go "no! you are turning red" followed by a little bitch fight.
all of the input i got in this forum helped me feel like i'm ready to meet other women also - for the first time in quite a while. seems like i have an almost clear head after a while. this made me go out more and stay more focused, work harder on some stuff also (not pu-related).

i was trying out some stuff with her too in the meantime. while my friend told me she would for sure go for the conversation about staying just friends, i talked to her on the phone and she certainly tried to avoid that as much as i did. i ended the call by saying "let's just leave it like that". i was playing with the thought not contacting her again and let her work, but finally figured out this would lead to a deep conversation more likely. i decided to contact her as if nothing has ever happened, asking her if she had seen the latest episode of a series already, we usually watch together. she seemed happy to hear from me. i'd let her wait for the next day, respond a little something in the early morning. she would instantly notice and tease me, why i was up so early. i'd just say it would be a long and busy day and not respond to her reaction for 4 days. i then decided to ask her to come to my place finally telling her i was in another town. the next day we would meet. she suggested to meet outside in town and go for a walk, which is unusual. i was so sure she would finally talk to me. not at all! we we're hanging out, having a drink later, playing pool. i told her i met my ex-girlfriend in my home town who was having a bad time since she split from her boyfriend (which was actually true). she showed some interest in her, asking what she was doing (which made it easy showing off with her a bit, since shes a hot latina). she would later work for my attention and tease me at the pool table all the time. after saying good bye very quickly and leaving just as fast she texted me 5 mins later, what she never does usually. some bullshit, not worth a text at all. haven't contacted her in 2 days, today she texted me if we would meet at university. we did and i was still in charge, playing it pretty well i believe.
since she's going to her home country this weekend (which i just know via facebook) my next move would be to ask her to do something amazing at the weekend, which should make her regret to go home (which she anyway does most of the time if it's true what she says).

there's a gorgeous bar which all the students go to. it closes on saturday - forever. this should be a good option for the move right?

so right now i'm working on building up attraction. i'll read stuff about things that are on my mind and look through the forums. any particular hints for this explicit situation?

cheers, reas0n


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 7:59 pm 
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after a one week break i've met her. she suggested to meet in town and go for a walk, which is untypical for her. i was 100% sure she would discuss the howl being-friends-thing with me again. but she didn't. we were out having fun. i was able to be more the type of guy i was when i started meeting her. i stopped being needy.
when we started playing pool she would try to get my attention all the time, singing into my ear and hitting my ass with the queue. i didn't take much time to say goodbye since my bus just arrived. i got a text message from her 3 mins later, the content didn't matter at all, some bullshit. 2 days later i received a message - she was asking if we would meet in a certain course at the university - which she did for the first time.

she then went to her home country and i made sure she wouldn't forget about me by writing 2 or 3 times. feels like we're on a flirty level again. it seems this stuff works pretty well on her. i'm still trying not to make it too awkward, since summer vacation is close. no freeze out in the meantime i guess.

i'd like to do some push-pull - any suggestions? keywords? what if she writes me, but doesn't ask me to meet? do i ask her to meet?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 8:56 pm 
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Tell her "I'm going to fuck you before summer break!"

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 9:29 pm 
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Tell her "I'm going to fuck you before summer break!"
shes an alpha female. she can handle any neg and she'll deal with any inappropriate behavior. this would have to be super payful and in the right moment. i think about making her comfortable to a certain extent, have the right mix of push-pull and make sure she visits me in my hometown in summer. but not sure what a good tactic might look like in detail here..


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:15 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Tell her "I'm going to fuck you before summer break!"
shes an alpha female. she can handle any neg and she'll deal with any inappropriate behavior. this would have to be super payful and in the right moment. i think about making her comfortable to a certain extent, have the right mix of push-pull and make sure she visits me in my hometown in summer. but not sure what a good tactic might look like in detail here..
If you think she's alfha why the fuck be beta?

Tell her your going to tap that ass or your done. And mean it.
Tell her its her fault for keeping it all tight and sexy. Its all you can think about.

What's the risk? She doesn't put out? She's already doing that!!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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