So you mean she owed me an explanation and had to inform me that she was with someone else?
I don't get it.

Obviously having someone in person and to have fun with me online pleases her best. And that is wrong from her side. Is that what you mean?

What would be then another option(decision) where I would had a WIN from your point of view, and not be selfish?
- you mean I act egoistic or she acts egoistic?

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

You're asking for a Win/Win/Win. She's won, so for her the game is over. Your ego seems to be the one that's taken a hit, so you are trying to figure out how you can feel good about how the situation has turned out.

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I still don't get it. Are you blaming her for her actions/decisions ?

I don't seem to see how could I acted better - more mature. Was it better to still maintain virtual contact, was it better for me to go there?

That is what I'm asking a feedback on...

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

I'm not blaming anything on anyone. You're saying that you want a WIN/WIN/WIN. She's not asking you for a way to have one. That is strictly coming from you and you alone. Why do you need one outside of your own ego?

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OK let me clarify then. By WIN/WIN/WIN I mean taking the best (most mature) possible decision for her, for that dude, and for me of-course, according to the situation. (although I feel a bit pain now and don't feel like I won as you said).
See I don't think only for myself (my ego).

The goal that I'm striving is to be better person for society, not especially to get THAT ONE girl. (although I would like to be with her, however it takes two for tango - i.e. she needs to want as well).

OK without too much rambling - what do you think I did wrong?

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Do you realize what you are saying is crazy? What is going on between is absolutely none of your business so you have nothing to do with their "WIN". There is no reason for you to inject yourself into anything when it comes to them. Walk away and don't try to keep yourself in her life. There is no happy ending in their story for you. Go find your own ending.

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What did I said that I've done - told her I'm not going there and terminated contact. (although I feel bad about it, but I try to overcome it)

* And I don't mess in their stuff - i don't care, its not my business. (I think I already said that)

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Then why encourage her to see other people? Why worry about a WIN/WIN/WIN? Why contact her in a week to let her know where you stand? You're saying some weird shit for a guy that is saying he'll walk away.

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OK I think this is some wordsmithing issue.

By "encourage" I mean that I understand she can meet new people, not that especially tell her: "go and meet other guys", but I understand she might do it, because... duhhh - obvious reasons.

By WIN/WIN/WIN - I mean, best, coolest, most mature, most respectful decision. Which eventually as a consequence would have to be a win/win.

And by contacting her - I never said that I'll contact her to let her know where I stand for her. More rather the opposite to get clear where she stands for me. I like talking with her I can keep it light and casual but I don't want to be the guy that serves as a life saving buoy. I doubt any self respecting man would let himself be in such position?

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

This makes no sense. What was the purpose of saying that you would outright contact her to encourage it?Walking away from the situation and not dwelling on it. She doesn't care if you walk away. Everything between you and her is just her being polite.You already told her that you didn't want to talk to her on SPAM because of her situation. You told her that you didn't think it was a good idea to stay with her in France. You already let her know where you stand. Why do it again.

I understand what it is. You don't want to let go. You don't want to LOSE. It's a girl...and as one of my favorite posters have said, they make new ones everyday. Let it go...you don't need to contact her, see her, or do business with her.

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What do you mean by that? How could I dwelled better on that situation?
If thats true, why then she calls me, why she spends late night hours talking with me and not her bf or someone else. Looks like she likes communicating with me, however due to circumstances (distance) she can't be around me physically.
Or am I deceiving about that?

Btw thanks for the replies - but I need to get myself in peace, so I can focus contributing society and people.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

There is no good or better way to dwell. Dwelling = bad. Not Dwelling = Good
If she's contacting you...block her. You need to get over her completely. You don't do that by keeping things the same minus the sex.

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OK - I got that.
So do you think it was better if time ago I had set her the condition that in order to talk to me we got to be in normal, physical relationship. Or even if not in relationship - just to be physical (like we were when she was here).

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

You're dwelling (ruminating) under the guise of doing a relationship post-mortem. This is why you're having problems.

Yea I realize that. I'm about to close the thread.

I'm just curious what JackZero (or you) would reply to my last question.
"So do you think it was better if time ago I had set her the condition that in order to talk to me we got to be in normal, physical relationship. Or even if not in relationship - just to be physical (like we were when she was here)."

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."