What book to read on relationships?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:32 am 
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I wanna better myself in relationships. Pulling chicks is easy, but maintaining a healthy and happy relationship for years is difficult.

The book I rely on is "How To Be a 3% Man" By Corey Wayne. It's a solid book. It teaches you how to court your woman properly. If she's upset you need to quickly find out why and listen to put her back in her happy state, etc. Where I think this book lacks is giving examples of the man standing up for himself. I really don't know what's crossing the line and what isn't. Because of so, the mentality I had by reading this book is "Okay.. she's upset right now. I need to do everything I can to fix that, even if she cusses me out and treats me like crap. It's my job as a man to get to the bottom of it and put my girlfriend in a happy state". Obviously this is a horrible mentality to have because I got disrespected, AND I ALLOWED IT! Obviously with this last dating experience I had I've learned. But I wanna learn even more. And for the future women that I date, if I am confused about something I'm going to post here right away. I'm not going to wait until shit hits the fan like I did just recently. You guys dropped some good knowledge for me.

I think the big thing that I learned from my 1+ year relationship that just ended is that I need to put my happiness first, while meeting her needs. If I can't do both then it's probably best to call a quits. (And vice versa. She needs to put her happiness first while meeting my needs. If she can't then it's time for a quits)

Anyways. What book would you guys recommend regarding relationships?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:01 am 
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You don't need a book, you need boundaries.

Don't take from your girl the type of shit you wouldn't take from your best friend.
Would you allow him to cuss you out? Threaten you? Treat you like shit? Disrespect you? If he did, you wouldn't be friends with him anymore.

If you let people walk all over you, they will. Why would they respect you if you don't even respect yourself?

FlexBrah wrote:
I think the big thing that I learned from my 1+ year relationship that just ended is that I need to put my happiness first, while meeting her needs. If I can't do both then it's probably best to call a quits. (And vice versa. She needs to put her happiness first while meeting my needs. If she can't then it's time for a quits)


That's largely true. And it's also why you don't give the girlfriend title to just about anyone. You should be compatible enough that meeting each others needs comes naturally, not as a proactive effort.

Keeping a girl, or keeping a relationship happy is not about what you do, it's about who you are.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 10:11 am 
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Quote:
You should be compatible enough that meeting each others needs comes naturally, not as a proactive effort.


So true.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:32 pm 
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What RC said, but I still recommend reading Doc Love - The System.

It's an easy read and gives you some insight on boundaries and dating overall.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2016 5:46 pm 
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If you want to improve your relationships dramatically start with Dr. Sue Johnson's "Hold Me Tight"


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 4:13 am 
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I'd have to go with Corey Wayne. I've not read the others but I know Corey Wayne did learn (partly) from Doc Love. I don't really agree with a lot of what Doc Love says though, from what I have heard; one chance, per woman, per lifetime? Come on...

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 2:39 pm 
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I'd recommend Buddhist texts. I think the building blocks for a relationship is compassion, self love, and communication. Mindfulness practices of any kind, not just Buddhism, work on the first two. They are also the hardest to change.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2017 4:52 pm 
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Alabaster girl by Zan Perrion

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2017 3:29 am 
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n2thevoid wrote:
If you want to improve your relationships dramatically start with Dr. Sue Johnson's "Hold Me Tight"



holy shit man I picked this up today after 5 hour session with Neil strauss the uncomfortable book about relationship


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:56 am 
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The 50s by David Halberstam

Many relationship 'experts' in the US with a best selling book were born, grew up or raised by parents in this time period. It will give you an insight why the relationship wisdom of these experts who have ONE relationship for a long period of time are enormously flawed at this time and age of smartphones, Tinder, Twitter, Reality tv, YouTube and so on.

The lesson here is that you have to adapt to the different factors in the environment (economic, social, technological, cultural, political and legal) that will have a major influence on the kind of relationship that you want. For instance, the rise of feminism which makes a lot of US women masculine have driven many American men to marry and have families with Asian women who have retained their femininity and still have a strong regard for gender roles versus gender equality that the feminists promote.

You can give up some of the things that make you happy as a man as a compromise to the things that a woman want as a more dominant masculine influence in relationships.

For instance, if you politely asked your girlfriend to make you a sandwich and she rudely replied that you should shove that frozen hotdog sandwich up your ass because that's the advice she got at an online forum, then you might be happy following Corey Wayne's relationship advice to surrender to the whims of your girlfriend or diagnose her and your love language per Gary Chapman's 'The Five Love Language's' and then troubleshoot accordingly by any, some or all of the following:

1. Cooking her a pulled pork sandwich and then taking out the garbage.

2. Telling her you love her 10 times a day.

3. Giving her gifts every now and then.

4. Holding her hand, cuddling her and so on even if that doesn't lead to sex.

5. Giving her lots of time and a regular vacation to cool tourist destinations every now and then.

The other alternative of course is to pound her pussy well enough so she'll know what she's going to miss when you dump her ass for disrespecting you. It is no mere coincidence that US women spend more dollars on porn than relationship books nowadays and most men in the US are in some stage of diabetes with varying degrees of erectile dysfunction.

At the end of it all, we have the freedom of choice on what kind or type of relationship will make us happy irregardless if you're a man, woman, gay, lesbian, or an animal (dog, cat, horse). Be more open minded guys, at this time and era, several widows who got huge inheritances from their deceased husbands are making their favorite pets heirs to the hard earned fortune their dead husbands worked so hard for. I think in the 1950s, these amusing newsworthy events of today didn't happen in the past.

I think the bottom line is: You have to give some to get some. However, if your relationship partner just wants to take and not give you anything at all, it's so much more forgiving from your end to dump her and let go.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:40 am 
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I don't think anybody would advise surrendering to the whims of your girlfriend in that situation, lol.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 6:09 am 
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J.Daniels wrote:
I don't think anybody would advise surrendering to the whims of your girlfriend in that situation, lol.


Most mainstream relationship 'experts' and Corey Wayne (in ambivalent terms) do and those that offer non-mainstream relationship advice get labeled often as misogynists, psychos, and idiots.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:50 am 
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Corey Wayne often gets called a misogynist, based on the whole "don't change your beliefs to match that of a woman. Be decisive and don't compromise with your life purpose" type of stuff...

Maybe different styles work for different people. For example I think Roosh, Mehow and Mystery are as good as useless... but most people like their stuff. I suppose it's how different people receive the same information.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:57 am 
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J.Daniels wrote:
For example I think Roosh, Mehow and Mystery are as good as useless


No no. They're useless.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:51 am 
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Monsignor Crisanto wrote:

For instance, the rise of feminism which makes a lot of US women masculine have driven many American men to marry and have families with Asian women who have retained their femininity and still have a strong regard for gender roles versus gender equality that the feminists promote.



This is bullshit. If you're not more masculine than a feminist, you're not a dominant, masculine man. Turning to another country's women rather than improving yourself is a lack of awareness and initiative, and laughably sad.

Hitting the gym weights for a year will have you more masculine by default. Feminists love nothing more than to be pounded by a muscular, dominant guy, and tossed around in bed. All women do. My 21 year old gf and her roommate have feminist empowerment slogans all over their apartment walls. I respect it, especially when I read the slogans while they both blow me at the same time.


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The other alternative of course is to pound her pussy well enough so she'll know what she's going to miss when you dump her ass for disrespecting you. It is no mere coincidence that US women spend more dollars on porn than relationship books nowadays and most men in the US are in some stage of diabetes with varying degrees of erectile dysfunction.


This I agree with.


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