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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 4:20 pm 
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The last time we spoke was when I told her my friends said I should leave her for being dramatic.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 5:36 pm 
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spiggins1 wrote:
The last time we spoke was when I told her my friends said I should leave her for being dramatic.


You need to get off the forum bro.

Constantly reviewing it and returning to this is only acting as a reminder to you of what took place. If the remedy to the situation is forgetting it and putting it behind you so that you can readjust your attitude to one that was actually successful with her theres no further need to be here.

You already received all the advice you need. Now get off the forum, put this all behind you so you can get started on repairing your life.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:02 pm 
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Good words mate. You are right.



Appreciate the feedback and advice. Good to have others input sometimes.

Hopefully wont see you fellas anytime soon haha.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 12:31 am 
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spiggins1 wrote:
Valid points.

Ive had this girl under my thumb the whole time. And shes hated that I was in control and wouldnt get into a relationship earlier with her.

I wouldnt say I worship her but unfortunately this girl is myself in a female version so shit just clicks like it never has before and I can see the value in that and like it or not, this girl is actually something to lose.

Anyway she replied this morning. She said she thought about what I said last night and I was right and she apologized for dragging it out this long and may have overreacted but that I had still done damage.

Im back in control.



This relationship will not last, simply for the reason that you have it framed as something to be won. The dynamic is all askew you won't ever be able to build a partnership with somebody when you're constantly trying to wrest power from them. You feel good now only because your attachment needs have been met momentarily, but for all the wrong reasons as its all egoic. You've been keeping a balance book of who has the upper hand and this will only continue without any doubt.

This isn't the last time we'll hear from you. At some point it will be doing a post mortem on this relationship. That is, unless something dramatically changes (in you), but for that to even have any chance of occurring you'd have to be honest with yourself which I can't see happening in the near future. Not until at least you've suffered more.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 9:37 am 
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Time will tell mate. Judging from past relationships, the onky issue Ive ever had was myself losing interest.

Ill check back in down the line and give you an update.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:16 pm 
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spiggins1 wrote:
Time will tell mate. Judging from past relationships, the onky issue Ive ever had was myself losing interest.

Ill check back in down the line and give you an update.

You're lost in translation.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:45 pm 
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Okay mate now youre just being negative. You actually havent provided any advice so why even comment.

I do believe you can have successful relationships that you grow out of and no longer want to be in. Maybe its wrong timing or you learn too much about the person and become disinterested after a year or two. It happens. We grow up and grow apart sometimes. A successful relatioship doesnt have to end in marriage in my opinion.

But hey, who am I to comment on my personal life.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 10:02 pm 
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Void is right.

The red flag for me was you're "I'm in control now" comment.

If you don't improve on controlling your emotions (controlling behavior, insecurity, attachment), the vibe you're giving off is going to drive her away (as it almost did).

You did well keeping your shit together after you were advised. But there's a big difference between not revealing your cards too soon early in courtship and playing balance games, and playing games well into a relationship. I've burned myself doing this, so I know.

Most of all, pay close attention to the negative/fun ratio. It should be 10/90 at a minimum. Analyze how many emotional, serious (Debbie Downer) talks you have, or controlling texts that don't seem that obvious at first.

This shit all ads up.

It's not about "control". It's about passion, fun, excitement, and discovery. A man who focuses on "control" will get his ass dumped. The man who focuses on the latter (for himself and his partner)will never have women leave him.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 6:55 am 
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spiggins1 wrote:
Okay mate now youre just being negative. You actually havent provided any advice so why even comment.

I do believe you can have successful relationships that you grow out of and no longer want to be in. Maybe its wrong timing or you learn too much about the person and become disinterested after a year or two. It happens. We grow up and grow apart sometimes. A successful relatioship doesnt have to end in marriage in my opinion.

But hey, who am I to comment on my personal life.

Its as though you're having an entirely different conversation, like you're having a psychotic break. Who is speaking about marriage, or growing out of love?

Lost indeed.


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