I agree with Mack.
If there's any mental masturbation going on here its from those that are philosophizing about cause and effect. I mean sure, ultimately EVERYTHING is your own fault. Of course, I always take personal responsibility for allowing anyone to mistreat me, but that's exactly what Mack is doing:
He's recognizing that he has been mistreated.
He's correctly identifying the SOURCE of the relationship problems.
He's actively riding himself of this burden.
Saying that he's BLAMING the woman in question for his own faults is not only senseless, but its insensitive to someone that's just coming out of a relationship like that.
That's what she's probably been doing to him the whole time, and right now he needs to rebuild his personal sense of REALITY.
Also, about controlling love. Ummm, is this not a PUA forum? If you're not controlling love, then you're still using phrases like 'I got lucky'
Quote:
The main obstacle to becoming a seducer is this foolish prejudice we
have of seeing love and romance as some kind of sacred, magical realm
where things just fall into place, if they are meant to. This might seem ro-
mantic and quaint, but it is really just a cover for our laziness. What will se-
duce a person is the effort we expend on their behalf, showing how much
we care, how much they are worth. Leaving things to chance is a recipe for
disaster, and reveals that we do not take love and romance very seriously. It
was the effort Casanova expended, the artfulness he applied to each affair
that made him so devilishly seductive. Falling in love is a matter not of
magic but of psychology. Once you understand your target's psychology,
and strategize to suit it, you will be better able to cast a "magical" spell.
The Art of Seduction
The problem is not that these woman are trying to control love, its that they aren't doing anything useful or pleasant with the power that they have.