Since I know this situation more in-depth than just about anyone who can reply to it (and since your post didn't make much sense), I think I'm probably best-suited to address your points. If this comes off brutal, understand I'm just being honest and I still love you bro
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1) Don't keep shit that your afraid to walk away from.
You weren't afraid to walk away from this girl, you were comfortable and complacent. Even though you didn't truly DESIRE her, staying together was the easier option than continuing to sarge and improve yourself as a person. And therein lies the problem: without a genuine
desire for your significant other, you do both of you a great disservice and ultimately doom the relationship to failure.
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2) girls you fuck on the first time meeting them, arent LTR material.
This is a damaging myth about relationships that leads to all sorts of limiting beliefs. How are you in any way justified in making moral judgments about a woman based on how quickly she's willing to sleep with you? This is particularly unfair when
you, yourself are ready to sleep with her from the moment you lay eyes on her ... how would you feel if she passed judgment on your worth as a boyfriend based on that knowledge?
Some of the best relationships I've ever been a part of started as same-night lays and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Your entire relationship with this girl ultimately boils down to this statement right here:
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She was nothing.. Given value only by the fact i given her value because I misconstrewed her value-able, after investing time in her.. and considering my time worth something.
It has nothing to do with how soon you slept with her or any "fear of walking away." Your problems with this girl started inside of you. Pickup, like everything else in life, is cyclical. In the same way that you cannot expect a girl to be wildly devoted to you without being wildly devoted to her first, you cannot expect a healthy relationship to bloom out of a perceived level of value based solely on how much time you have invested in it.
Stop tearing her down in an attempt to smooth over your own insecurities and sexual hangups. Stop trying to blame the failure of this relationship on external factors you can't control. You are an active agent of change in your life, not a victim. Get out of that mentality and go BE A MAN
And don't forget, you're still my boy
Your boy,
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