trying to understand??? does anyone understand


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2015 3:54 am 
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So I started seeing this 32yr Brazilian woman 5-6 months ago. At the time both of us made it clear that we didn't want to be anything more than friends with benefits or a fling, as she had separated and started a new job and as I was transitioning with other things and dealing with fallout from a family financial matter... nonetheless she persisted in blowing up my phone and computer and would say we are "dating"...And She would flip out when I wouldn't see her three or more days a week.. I am 26yrs so there's it's very improbable that anything could happen... anyway she use to be more respectful to me but since I told her I needed space because I was going through something she has changed her tone....While we have little in common, I know she on many occassions tells me how funny iam or how good I am in bed... (((that's the only connection))

Anyway lately she's been texting calling and telling me about all the guys that ask her out.. she's also made superficial comments about my life even though I've made more money than her in the past and played sports professionally for a bit.... we stopped seeing each other for two weeks and she wanted to bring it to my attention that she hooked up with two guys.... In my opinion, even if you're in a open relationship are dating it's low class or bad manners to state this to someone; it's assumed... at other times she will call me and tell me she care and wants to know what's up or tell me how I'm the best in bed....despite the fact that she's hot and I can share a laugh, I'm starting to think this not worth the disrespect and craziness.... (((In my opinion FWB only lasts for a month or two after 5-6 months it's a open relationship or dating)))

Anyway I would appreciate some thoughts


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2015 4:55 am 
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She's acting outside of her nature. Women get the best guy as possible and will want to settle down with him. The whole FWB thing is her adapting to what you want, but it's not really what she wants. Her telling you about other guys is her attempt to get you to understand that she has options, but her actions are telling you that you are the one that she actually wants.

At this point you are at a moral fork in the road. You know she wants just you, but you don't see anything realistic happening with her. You can choose to keep her on this emotional rollercoaster until she realizes that nothing is more is going to happen between the two of you or you can cut the strings and let her find a guy that's more suited for her.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2015 8:01 am 
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she thought she wanted FWB and she went for a FWB because of the recent break up and maybe because she had some feelings for the ex. After she started sleeping with you she developed feelings for you. It happens.
She is telling you about the other guys to make you feel jealous and make you develop feelings about her. She is also pointing out that she is desirable. All she wants is to turn the FWB into a relationship.
I don't understand why you say that nothing can happen between you because of the age difference. If it was the other way round and you were the older one would you had said the same? Age is just a number. If you like her too then go for it.
If you really don't want to be in a relationship with her it's about time you communicate with her about it. It's good to make things clear so she has the choice to stay or to leave.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2015 12:02 pm 
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Its a cheap female manipulation tactic to play on your emotions. And if you keep putting yourself in this situation you will crack eventually. I'd personally get out of there. You're already making a post about her and that is step one.

You also posted this in the relationship "section" and this is not a relationship. Thats worth noting also

Drop her. She'll go crazy, but it will be worth it.

You don't need any other advice than to let her go. The emotional tide can always turn, and if you allow yourself to be apart of this storm you will either have to sink or swim.

Drop her.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2015 7:50 pm 
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I'm thinking she might be doing this more for: manipulation, attention, and as a game

(((she got a divorce; not a separation from a boyfriend)))


The reason I wasn't sure about what this is because in the past we did things which constituted as a relationship.... and she made a big deal about not seeing other people


thanks for the thoughts


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:32 pm 
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however I also know women are indecisive and change their minds all the time in regards to what they want....
while she use to be nice and caring in the past, I do not feel like I can trust her now in regards to having a relationship....


I'm just wondering, as I don't feel a lifestyle or romantic connection should I drop her? or play the game? or just give her minimal attention?.... I think time is the most valuable thing, so I don't want to waste mine...


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 11:13 pm 
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Eddie Fews wrote:
Its a cheap female manipulation tactic to play on your emotions. And if you keep putting yourself in this situation you will crack eventually. I'd personally get out of there. You're already making a post about her and that is step one.

You also posted this in the relationship "section" and this is not a relationship. Thats worth noting also

Drop her. She'll go crazy, but it will be worth it.

You don't need any other advice than to let her go. The emotional tide can always turn, and if you allow yourself to be apart of this storm you will either have to sink or swim.

Drop her.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 11:25 pm 
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If you only want sex and she wants a relationship it will only going to lead into drama.
Better go and find sex with someone else.

Women,we aren't that indecisive as you think. 9 out of 10 times we want a relationship... unless we are not into a guy. Sometimes we say it since the beginning , some other times we say the opposite because we are afraid we are going to make the guy feel scared.. Due to hormones, sometimes after having sex with a guy for a long time we get emotionally attached with him. If there was initial attraction then we might fall in love. If not then we just love him.
If we only love him and we aren't in love we might dump him if we find someone we fall in love. If we are in love we don't usually try to see if the grass is greener.

Why you don't trust her anymore?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 9:06 pm 
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felipe89 wrote:
So I started seeing this 32yr Brazilian woman 5-6 months ago. At the time both of us made it clear that we didn't want to be anything more than friends with benefits or a fling, as she had separated and started a new job and as I was transitioning with other things and dealing with fallout from a family financial matter... nonetheless she persisted in blowing up my phone and computer and would say we are "dating"...And She would flip out when I wouldn't see her three or more days a week.. I am 26yrs so there's it's very improbable that anything could happen... anyway she use to be more respectful to me but since I told her I needed space because I was going through something she has changed her tone....While we have little in common, I know she on many occassions tells me how funny iam or how good I am in bed... (((that's the only connection))

Anyway lately she's been texting calling and telling me about all the guys that ask her out.. she's also made superficial comments about my life even though I've made more money than her in the past and played sports professionally for a bit.... we stopped seeing each other for two weeks and she wanted to bring it to my attention that she hooked up with two guys.... In my opinion, even if you're in a open relationship are dating it's low class or bad manners to state this to someone; it's assumed... at other times she will call me and tell me she care and wants to know what's up or tell me how I'm the best in bed....despite the fact that she's hot and I can share a laugh, I'm starting to think this not worth the disrespect and craziness.... (((In my opinion FWB only lasts for a month or two after 5-6 months it's a open relationship or dating)))

Anyway I would appreciate some thoughts


I honestly don't understand the point of this post. It seems you already answered your own inquiry. Obviously, she's acting out to gain your attention. Obviously, you're not responding well to it. Obviously, you've already discovered that the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

What's the question here? So you banged an older chick. Good job. Hope it was nice. But now there's clearly nothing more to move forward on, so why are you thinking about it? You yourself said nothing would be moving forward. If she feels otherwise, it's your responsibility to correct her.

Either A: You want to cut clean and both go separate ways--guilt free
Or B: You want to keep fucking her, because hey... who doesn't love pussy? But dude.. even if you tell her you want nothing more than fuck buddies, and she agrees... she's already put herself on display too much. She's already shown that she digs you more than you dig her. If you agree to fuck buddy status, there will be a guilt factor. Regardless of how cool she tries to play it--she's just working her own game to reel in a younger fish, by whatever means necessary.

So she tells you you're the best in bed? Of course she does. What is she gonna do? Tell you that you're "eh, somewhere in the middle..."? No. Girls... no scratch that--WOMEN--which is what you're dealing with--know how to stroke a male ego. Don't let it get to your head.

-Derron Fox


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:33 pm 
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eddie fews thanks for the advice!

After trying to have a "adult conversation" with her last weekend. It's become clear to me how crazy this woman is. I tried telling her that we are not friends as the attraction between friends and romantic prospects is different....I think she is using me as a buffer until she finds someone else and if things don't work out she will try to call me back...I called her out about it since she was being dishonest and pissed me off.... I took her to an exclusive event and she didn't have to pay or wait in line... and when I do other things such as cook or take her to nice restaurants she minimizes it... Any way, what pissed me off was the jokes she made publicly at my expense..she has also footed me bills when she on her own volition volunteered to pay for something..I don't think it matters what I do, She has already ruled me out in her head

She use to call me and express a lot of concerns and feelings....And she use to not be so superficial but it seems to be coming out now...I do not fit her criteria because of my life situation.... maybe now I'm the one who cares too much, otherwise I would end this..... she use to care when other women were interested in me, this has changed

I do NOT trust her because when I met her I didn't know she was married and had not separated then I refused to see her not because I wanted a relationship from it but because I had a problem with seeing someone who was married...As we have been seeing each other for 6-7 months, I made the mistake to stop using a condom... she only told me that she was seeing someone else after I fucked her(she did not tell me, she mentioned it by accident as she was drunk... also find her manipulative, when she wants something she will do/say a lot of things to get it.... And unfortunately she knows that I have feelings for her now



If there's one thing I believe her about it's sex. She paid 140$ in cab fees just so she could commute quickly to see me from a work trip...

She looks a lot younger due to her physique and face ((correction 33yrs but looks like she's 27-28)))and guys of all ages try to hit on her...to the point, she could have other options ....she even went as far to throw a Temper tantrum when I refused to sleep with her(((she had insulted me earlier))...


Last edited by felipe89 on Tue Jun 09, 2015 7:50 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:40 pm 
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felipe89 wrote:
eddie fews thanks for the advice!

After trying to have a "adult conversation" with her last weekend. It's become clear to me how crazy this woman is. I think she is using me as a buffer until she finds someone else and if things don't work out she will try to call me back...I called her out about it since she was being dishonest and pissed me off.... I took her to an exclusive event and she didn't have to pay or wait in line... and when I do other things such as cook or take her to nice restaurants she minimizes it... Any way, what pissed me off was the jokes she made publicly at my expense..she has also footed me bills when she on her own volition volunteered to pay for something..I don't think it matters what I do, She has already ruled me out in her head

She use to call me and express a lot of concerns and feelings....she use not be so superficial but seems to be coming out now...I do not fit her criteria because of my life situation.... maybe now I'm the one who cares too much, otherwise I would end this.

I do NOT trust her because when I met her I didn't know she was married and had not separated then I refused to see her not because I wanted a relationship from it but because I had a problem with it seeing someone who was married... I also find her manipulative, when she wants something she will do/say a lot of things to get it.... And unfortunately she knows that I have feelings for her now



If there's one thing I believe her about it's sex. She paid 140$ in cab fees just so she could commute quickly to see me from a work trip...

She looks a lot younger due to her physique and face ((correction 33yrs but looks like she's 27-28)))and guys of all ages try to hit on her...to the point, she could have other options ....she even went as far to throw a Temper tantrum when I refused to sleep with her...


her:Hey wanna fuck me?
please reply to my emails

Me:sorry the subscriber you've reached no longer cares


https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hp ... e=5579C792


If you respond she still gets some level of satisfaction man. Learn the power of the "ignore". You can get dragged into childish games if you don't play.

This is just as much your fault as hers. Take responsibility. She can only keep up the behavior that you have "accepted" from her. If there is no penalty for breaking the law, the law will be broken. Its the fault of the law breaker, but its also the fault of society for not putting proper laws in place to prevent crimes from happening.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2015 6:37 am 
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Put logic over emotion here and stick to principles. You clearly stated that she is not inline with your values. Respect those values then and walk on her. Good sex does not trump personal values.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:12 pm 
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Women start acting like that when they want an exclusive relationship
and their way of convincing you is by letting you know that if you don't
comply..she will fuck other guys

Pretty much, make you jealous to the point you comply...is their logic

A great quote a got from a 60yr old PUA...not really a PUA but this dude
is 60 dating hot 40 year olds

"No matter how old a woman gets...she will always love like a teenager"

Keep that in mind when dealing with women....they are simply
acting out like the little 15yr old that is inside their heart

Once you realize that...it stops you from being so "harsh" on them

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 2:55 pm 
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***let me say sorry in advance for this essay long posting*** clearly I'm giving this way too much thought.... thank you in advance for the feedback***


I think I should of ended this relationship or Fling a long time ago.((been7-8months) This chick kept moving it back and forth and I especially didn't need to be wasting my time for someones emotional immaturity and games at this point in my life.She even got me sick and I had to get a antibiotic about a month ago I told her about out of courtesy but she denied it and it was clear that she was the person who gave it to me(i have no problem with women's sexual empowerment, it's whore like if they are dishonest in my view)))... she's one of those discrete ho's))

Despite ending it, for some reason I felt emotionally attached and pain. I did NOT expect these feelings. early on she was very caring and kind. I'll admit i was a lot to deal with as i wanted space and was stressed out with personal setbacks [I was open about my life and set backs, as we got to know each other, so there wasn't some big mystery]...[I did have a adult conversation with her about about what I did wrong in terms of: time, taking her out, and just being less baggage filled]

She admitted when she was drunk that she still had some feelings for me and enjoyed it when we hanged out, missed the humor and especially the sex....

She was hanging with some wealthy senior college kid[as a friend] according to her girl friend. after hanging with him for two months, she finally escalated it to intimacy since the guy is either Bisexual, shy or both...

For some bizarre reason after we ended things, I took her to a swimsuit fashion show which was invite only (30 people) FREE. I was invited by a LA b-list celeb friend who came into the city.... I think it's ironic how she now wants the exclusivity and cool events i can take her to for free and social connects, but made it one of her reasons to brake up that we weren't doing anything ((I didnt take her out for awhile or do anything; was dealing with lot of personal issues, surgery, and fginances))

At this point, we are still in contact but basically it's her insulting or making ignorant remarks about my life. (we both call each other...i call more now). she also compares me to her new friend who she says she likes(((basically he is a pet... and she likes him because he is "calming" to her))) Despite everything, I still have feelings for her. However, I've realized how emotionally immature, self-centered, and superficial this woman is. I'm not sure whether I should try to salvage it in a month or two or realize this wasn't right for me. I have many other options and don't need to waste my time. never in my life, have i wanted to disrespect, disqualify or have the last word. I want to correct her on her delusional view points and self-image. But that might bring me down to her level or make me look desperate.

thinking about sending this:

It's kind of sad how each time we chat you seem to insult or judge me on my life situation. It makes me not want to have anything to do with you. Let alone, invite you to a private party with (Blank famous musician)) in the fall. But since you want to make ignorant statements, thought I should enlighten you

Babe, if you want to be a sexxxxy bitch, your going to need a lot more sexxxy.


Last time I checked, your 33yr old working a internship for some unknown institute for no money. Your long term plan is to move back with your mother in brazil and become a entry level analyst. You have a 21yr who makes probably 10-12 an hour as a bank teller buy you shit.

in a years time I will be back to being successful on a level you've not experienced...

your loss; bye!

(((i played professional sports, payed my bills and was just offered a job working for a investment bank .... So this doesn't sound as creepy/ immature in context.


Last edited by felipe89 on Wed Aug 05, 2015 9:08 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 3:31 pm 
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She's nuts. You're nuts. I'm sorry but who takes out a fwb yo exclusive events and cooks for them and shares feelings? You know what you call that... A gf. You don't know what you want man.


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