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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 7:01 pm 
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I know... I know... No guy should want a LTR if a girl is offering to be just ff's.

However last year I had this dime as a ff and in the end I regretted not trying something more serious with her.

Now, there is this new girl that is hinting that she doesn't want anything serious, just came out of a 5 year relationship. However, she is amazing...
I don't want to miss out banging her, but ideally i'd like it to be more serious too.

I'm thinking of starting off slow by just banging her, then increasing gradually our relationship?

Advice would be nice, thanks!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 7:39 pm 
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I don't have much experience turning a girl that wants to be FWB into relationships, but I have always found a propensity in women to be much more open to anything in general when your intentions are clear. And I can't imagine that this is any different. It's obvious that a girl doesn't react well when you act like a friend for months only to then unload your feelings on her out of no where. I can't imagine that the opposite would work any better.

I'd accept her offer, have fun with her, and if she shows any interest what so ever in a relationship then react accordingly. If you don't mind losing out on a FWB, then I have to think that honesty and letting her know that you are into her is more appropriate.

But I give this advice with the caveat that I'm no expert on these things. Maybe someone else will step in.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 8:53 pm 
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So wait...

Your options are:

1) Fuck her and hope it develops into something else, even if she's saying she doesn't want that.
2) Don't fuck her.

This doesn't sound like a real mind bender to me.

Just make sure you go at her pace and don't get needy and attached - since you're obviously going to be the emotionally invested one here.

After a few weeks of fucking, hit her up for some drinks or a movie. Boyfriend shit... See how that goes.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:44 pm 
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I disagree with introducing boyfriend shit if she has given you no signs of wanting a relationship.

The best way to snare a girl with commitment issues is to have even bigger commitment issues than her. Let her chase you, don't be too available for her. Be a challenge.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:16 am 
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She seems to want to bang. So bang her if that's what she wants and see where that leads. Live life.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 8:03 pm 
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Yeah so I've decided to go the route:

-Bang her then figure it out.

However, though she wants to bang she also told me she didn't want to bang the first time we sleep together. Apparently she hasn't had several sexual partners (1 I think) (we are both 24 btw). To be honest I'm not that desperate for sex that I need to have sex with her immediately. I was drunk the other night and told her I was okay with that, but I can definitely turn it around if not.

I've been seeing other women while talking/hooking up with her, to make sure I don't focus totally on her and create a 'the one' situation.

So should I "agree" to sleep with her once (as in cuddle most likely) before? Or should I play it "I only sleep with woman I have intercourse with" type of way?

First option creates rapport/comfort/connection.
Second option is kind of badass, no bullshit type.

What do you guys think?
Thanks for the advice so far.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 9:41 pm 
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If she got out of a 5 year relationship then she wants to enjoy life a bit before she settles down. She must be feeling quite unsure of what she wants.
I think that if you keep her as a FWB she will either get in a short relationship with you until she gets enough of it or have what she wants to have and when she is ready she will find someone new and start a new relationship.
You need to play lots of hot & cold games to get her fall for you. Sex won't make her get attached to you emotionally. And if you try to connect with her with activities and common experience you'll end up with a friend.

Emotional roller coaster and aloofness is the key.. Aloofness so she doesn't feel that she is about to get into a relationship and an emotional roller coaster of hot and cold so while she feels free she starts getting attached.

Don't define what you have. Tell her that you want to live each day and the present. Whatever happens happens.
Also turn her down couple of times her invites to meet up. Don't be always available. Be unpredictable.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 11:15 pm 
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Quote:
If she got out of a 5 year relationship then she wants to enjoy life a bit before she settles down. She must be feeling quite unsure of what she wants.
I think that if you keep her as a FWB she will either get in a short relationship with you until she gets enough of it or have what she wants to have and when she is ready she will find someone new and start a new relationship.
You need to play lots of hot & cold games to get her fall for you. Sex won't make her get attached to you emotionally. And if you try to connect with her with activities and common experience you'll end up with a friend.

Emotional roller coaster and aloofness is the key.. Aloofness so she doesn't feel that she is about to get into a relationship and an emotional roller coaster of hot and cold so while she feels free she starts getting attached.

Don't define what you have. Tell her that you want to live each day and the present. Whatever happens happens.
Also turn her down couple of times her invites to meet up. Don't be always available. Be unpredictable.
Thank you. Some good info here.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:18 am 
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For the 'sleeping with her without sleeping with her thing' there are a million routes you could go.

One way would be to have her over, kino escalate, make out etc. and when you go to bed, lay there and do not do as much as brush up against her. See if she makes any moves. If she says anything like 'why are u way over there" just say "i'm going with our agreement"; basically gets her to want to put moves on you which she may do.

Another route would be to kino escalate, make out, oral, bang on the couch before you go to sleep which would wipe out the agreement.

I'd lean against the ultimatum of "the only girls who are allowed to sleep in my bed are the ones who agree to have me enter them while in said bed."


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 3:49 pm 
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Do everything but sex and say "This doesn't count as sex". Often works for me if the girl is giving me LMR and her ASD kicks in. I either just start fingering her while making out and whisper "This doesn't count" or if she resists fingering, i place her hand on the hard bulge in my pants and say "Doesn't count" while getting her to stroke it. Then when I get my dick out, it's very rare that she will resist fingering or sex from then on.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 3:29 pm 
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Do everything but sex and say "This doesn't count as sex". Often works for me if the girl is giving me LMR and her ASD kicks in. I either just start fingering her while making out and whisper "This doesn't count" or if she resists fingering, i place her hand on the hard bulge in my pants and say "Doesn't count" while getting her to stroke it. Then when I get my dick out, it's very rare that she will resist fingering or sex from then on.
Kind of did this.

Went to have drinks with her last night. Talked from 10pm to 3:30am. Might have opened up a bit too much personally, but she did too so I suppose its okay.

Went home together around 4 am.

Started making out etc. Was slowly touching her everywhere, like getting real close to her ***** but not touching it will telling her "we aren't going to do anything tonight" in her ear and kissing her neck. She was moaning like crazy. When I was getting too close she wanted to take my hand off but I said "trust me I won't do anything" so I was holding her hands behind her head with one hand and the other hand was getting real close. She was shaking like crazy, totally in my control.
Did this for a little bit then pulled back and laid on my back.

She said "you're a very sexual guy". Whatever that means. I take it as a positive.

Then we talked until 8 am and got up so basically didn't sleep.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 10:31 pm 
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What to make of this:

She has a costume party tonight, sends me pics of her costume. I tell her that it would be fun if we went out next week and she dressed up like that and I dressed up like my halloween costume (Ryan Gosling in Place Beyond the Pines).

She says ok but what do you want in exchange?

I say I want a pic of your full costume in exchange (she had only showed me parts). She says that she is honest and that isn't worth it for me.

I say "Ok what do you propose?"

Then she says...

"We make love only in a month"

I say "wtf is this? How do I win?"

Her: "Well... The fact that we both go out in costume on a regular night.. Worth it no? (the awful girl)"

Me: "Hmm.. Well... I really hope your costume is cool. Deal."

Her: "Wow you just won so much points."

So I take it that she is pleased that I'm not desperate for sex etc.. But does this hurt my frame or au contraire does it make it even stronger?

Personally I could make a case for both. Thats why I'm asking you guys.

Have a good night.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 2:28 am 
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I don't like where this is headed. She is controlling your access to sex as to when/where/how/etc and you have fully bought in to her frame. She even gave you "points". You should be the one putting the stars on HER forehead not the other way around. Fuck it man meet more girls, this girl is a tease.

To take the contradictory approach, you could spend a month doing everything but sex and maybe she gets so worked up that she just climbs on you (this could happen) but again you are being told what to do and what you can do in advance and the agreement seems weaksauce to me.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 7:00 am 
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I don't like where this is headed. She is controlling your access to sex as to when/where/how/etc and you have fully bought in to her frame. She even gave you "points". You should be the one putting the stars on HER forehead not the other way around. Fuck it man meet more girls, this girl is a tease.

To take the contradictory approach, you could spend a month doing everything but sex and maybe she gets so worked up that she just climbs on you (this could happen) but again you are being told what to do and what you can do in advance and the agreement seems weaksauce to me.
Ok ok. I am meeting more girls. In fact I'm in Rome right now and hooked up with a chick two nights ago.

Had sex with another one in my country last week.

I told her she didn't even reach break-even in terms of points, she told me I was at around 1,5. I said "wow didn't know I was already at 1,5 million".

Either way I think you might be right and what I'm going to try to do is to get her so excited that she can't wait a month.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 7:54 am 
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Ok ok. I am meeting more girls. In fact I'm in Rome right now and hooked up with a chick two nights ago.

Had sex with another one in my country last week.

I told her she didn't even reach break-even in terms of points, she told me I was at around 1,5. I said "wow didn't know I was already at 1,5 million".

Either way I think you might be right and what I'm going to try to do is to get her so excited that she can't wait a month.
Ok cool. With what was said in your post, the whole situation and scenario seems a bit better. :)


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