A girl I've been seeing for months I realised i wanted something more serious with. I know that you're supposed to wait for them to drop the "what are we?" but I made a decison like a man to go after what you want and what I wanted was to date her seriously. I'm of a mindset that it isn't what you say or do but rather the place it's coming from. And by no means do I believe I projected neediness.

Anyway she fought for reasons we shouldn't date more seriously and I fought for reasons we should. (most of my arguments centred around "a man worth his salt goes after what he wants, and you're that girl") plus, she knows I've got women constantly messaging and calling so I don't think it came across negatively.

So after she basically decided no, i pumped the brakes. Blocked her on all social media. And started responding to like 1/3 texts and answering calls.
She called the other night and we decided to hang out. It was 11 at night and we both had work in the morning.

We drive around, laugh and get food but she won't kiss me. I act unaffected and laugh, but keep pushing it anyway. She's holding hands with me while driving and has no problem with me touching her (neck, hair etc)

We get to the beach at like 2. I want to sit somewhere and she wants to sit somewhere else. I decided to sit alone as it seemed shit testy.

After 15 minutes she comes over and basically we start to walk back to that car.. She all sad and shit now and it's like this until we get back to hers.

We start talking about us and she's saying stuff like "you know I'm not ready for anything like that" which i think is total bullshit, from any woman. She wants me to unblock her because she says she can't see what im up to without calling me and that just leads to more connection. And if she doesn't know what im doing, she gets jealous and curious. She thinks it's unfair. I said "i told you i either wanted 100% or not at all" she says that's sad and that it's bullshit because she doesn't build connections with people just to have them leave.

After this back and forth becomes more emotionally heated (on her behalf, im remaining cool about it) she breaks down and starts crying. I hug her and tell her its going to be okay and stuff.. Then she gets out the car.. Inwalk her to the driveway and he have a big cuddle. I say in my most cliche moment "sometimes you just have to let go and say goodbye" she says "I'm not doing that" or something and storms inside..

Anyway. After talking to my sister about this i brought up casually that her friends thought i was scary and were worried about her with me and thought we shouldn't date. And as soon as i said this she said "that's it" I'm like "what?" she says "she wants to date but if her friends don't like you it won't happen"

Which leads me to my question..

How important are the friends really? Anyone have any experience with relationships and friends? And if so, any ways to resolve this?

OP, it aint her friends. You have multiple threads on this chick, and I skimmed them to remember the details. Its not her friends, nor is it that you asked her instead of waiting for her to ask. This chick has issues, but worse, you have been so needy and trying to make this work and form a relationship. Every thread....You're just WAYYY too needy for this chick.

NEEDY.

Simple rule, if a chick doesnt want to be with you, dont fight for her to.

^

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Okay, 2 of them are about the same girl, yes.. She literally won't let things die...

Last night she called me 50 TIMES! 50!
I finally answer (she's calling on a private number so i can't block her)
Basically she's confused that I love her but have her blocked on everything. I say our loves would simply be better without each other. I told her to take our current phone call for example, as she was balling her eyes out the entire 20 minutes. I end up hanging up because she's beginning to get abusive and making no sense... She then texts this after I Turn my phone off.

"Talk to me please"

"I'm not going anywhere" - response to me telling her to go away.

"This is all just making me so so sad. I miss you. It's because you promised me you'd never block me out or cut me off and you are.
I've never ever wanted to make you upset. I get upset knowing there could even be a slight chance I offended you, but this isn't the first time stressing me out and making me sad like this and being fine with it. I've been overdoing it and undersleeping and run down, I spent all of today with a disgusting headache and stressed and wanting to cry, and yet I automatically put trying to talk to you as first priority the past two days. It's messed up, I didn't even think about it. I clearly care about you a lot and don't want to lose you. And you don't feel the same.
And that stuff you said about that kiss was bullshit.
I'll see you next week when it's cooled down. I'm not going anywhere"

Does this really sound like I'm being needy here?

This sounds like you not taking responsibility for your other needy actions. You guys both seem crazy, tbh.

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Sounds like immature emotional masturbation. I bet her panties we'er damp af, pulling all your easy little strings.

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You also know a guys needy when he tries several times in his post to convince the reader that he didn't come off as needy. Everything about this says NEEDY.

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You guys really aren't getting this.

I'm not asking how to save this particular situation, far as concerned the damage is done.

However i can't help but think this has something to do with my actions and I'd rather avoid a repeat in the future.

And im not sure what's needy about "I go after what I want" -sounds wanty perhaps. Why the hell would I pretend I didn't want.

Also, of all the Eddie Fews shit I've ever read, that's gotta be the most lackluster. Dude is like my favourite poster on here as everything he says is legit. I've read every article he's written like 3 times over. Thought he gor banned for pushing his own agenda though.

You're not understanding the situation.

Your sis, is dead wrong.

If a chick likes you and wants to be with you, she'll be with you. Heck, even if her friends dont like you and she's THAT "not independent" (cant figure out a better word but you get the idea) to make her decisions, she'd fix your image to her friends so she can be with you.

It aint the friends. And if your sis is seriously giving you that reason, make a note not to get her advice anymore. If someone wants to be your gf, they'll be your gf.

Also, needy isnt "going for what you want." Its fighting someone for a relationship. It's hearing someone tell you they dont want to be serious, and you delude yourself that it's not true. Because you NEED it to be false. It's looking at a damn nutcase and thinking "Wow...I want that to be mine." Chick is nuts. You WANT this chick. This nutcase. If she came tomorrow and said, hey I'll be your gf, you'd take her. Do you not see how fucked up that is?

Okay, a lot of what you said did resonate with me. You put that in a way I can certainly see more clearly..
Ever since she said no.. I've completely respected that decision.. She came over and broke this to my face, as if to test my frame.. (She literally brags about guys she's broken down to tears, as if they're trophies) and I held my shit together like a man. She very clearly didn't expect that.

As far as I know, she MADE this image with her friends.

Now, she's chasing me which probably has to do with Eddie's push, pull door thing... But if not to be with me then why? If a girl says "i don't want to be with you" and you go "okay then" and back off hard, wouldn't this be what she wants? The fact that she's fighting me on her own decision has to say something.

I don't care if I lose this girl, but I want to correct whatever behavior is getting me reactions like this.

And as to whether or not she's a nutcase, doesn't really matter since 98% of women are to some degree, men too.. May as well learn to deal with them now.

I don't want to keep beating you over the head with this, OP, because you're words and actions don't match. You give a girl an all or nothing ultimatum and then you hang out with her.
You tell her that it's over and then reassure her that everything is going to be ok.

It's the little shit that you say that gives you away. We can see it in your words.Believe me, she knows it's an act.

Needy guys attract and are attracted to attention seeking women. When you give her what she wants, she doesn't want you. When you don't give her what she wants then she does want you. You guys feed off one another's misery and can't be happy at the same time.

You want to keep it from happening again. Quit going after women that seek attention if you can't control your neediness.Bullshit. Quit making excuses to justify what's happening and take responsibility for your faults. It's more likely that 98% of the women that you go after are nutcases because that's what you feel comfortable working with. You have to make a conscious effort to weed crazy women out.

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This.

And that somehow doesn't scream to you the extent of fucked up that she is?

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Ooo Zero fucked me up with that one. Kinda hard to deny what you're saying. I mean, I hang out with her because I want her to change her mind. But I really don't care if she doesn't. Plus, I hate ultimatums. They always come from a position of powerlessness in an attempt to reagain power.
I'm certainly addicted to a little drama to be sure, but it certainly seems both parties cannot be happy together.

But basically, you're solution is just to never give these women what they want? Sounds simple enough. Say no more often.

I just found it ironic that the girl that takes pleasure in watching other men break, is seemingly breaking.

Problem being. I STILL HAVEN'T LAYED THIS GIRL.

and even if shits destined for collapse, getting one in before that would be just dandy. I literally feel like I can't close the chapter on this until mission complete and I feel like she knows that. Hmm almost as if she's been in this position before.

Anywhere I can read up on how to spot these attention seeking women? Because that would explain a lot of what happens in my dating life. Like I seem to attract freaks. Without even trying

Those two statements are mutually exclusive.
No, the solution is to stop wanting to make women like that your girlfriends.
Oh, she's not breaking. The circle of melodrama is exactly how other men break and it's exactly how you're breaking.
So not only is she fucked up, but you haven't even fucked her. Yet you still want a relationship? Do you understand how wrong that is?
And that's why you're needy. If you had other options you'd have cut her loose. But you don't, so you cling. Come on man, act with some clarity.
You don't need a read, you just need to stop letting your dick do the thinking. Hold these women to some damn standards. If some chick came at me bragging about how she made guys come to tears, I'd probably come to tears too. From laughter. While merrily walking away.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Yeah man, she's nuts and as RC says this melodrama is what she wants. Its not going to make sense why she is doing what she is doing, because....again...she's nuts. You'll keep leaving the door open for her drama because you still want that lay and because "well, she's calling me 50 times a day....that MUST mean something!"

How to spot attention seekin women? When she brags about breaking men. When she's not fucking you but being dramatic.