1 month in, not sure whats going on


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 10:53 pm 
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JackZero wrote:
Arch Stanton wrote:
He followed that advice, and got friend-zoned. So why do you continually advise it?
This is called a "false cause" fallacy. That's like saying the day that you met your girlfriend was the day you wore a red shirt, therefore she likes guys in red shirts.

No, this girl is exhibiting strange behavior. She's planning a spontaneous invite to her place. She's planning to drop by his job to bring him lunch. She obviously doesn't want to lose him at this moment but for some reason she's keeping him at an arms distance. This is normally the behavior of a woman that is trying to get rid of someone (although I could be wrong).



Yeah it is a little weird. Part of me wonders if its sincere. Maybe she is just busy? Maybe she just wants to keep me in orbit. But whatever. You guys are right that she probably wasn't worth all this effort from the get go.

And, no, meaningless sex is not what I want. I've had meaningless sex for the past 6 months with multiple girls and I'm over it. If she was still just coming over the fuck and leave to this day, I'd still be unsatisfied. I'm looking for a little passion and intimacy.

I'm going to go radio silence and work on other relationships I have going on. The saving grace is that I continued to date through this. I'll use this as a lesson learned.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 11:02 pm 
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Yeah, I'd say, based on the limited information provided, that was part of it. The better you are in bed, the faster they fall for you.

However, the OP still had opportunities.

Where things really went south was the phone call and "speaking his needs". That's not a lie. She went from hanging out, to not.


First, speaking his needs had nothing to do with texting her this dramatic message ending with "take care if you don't." Even Void said over and over, this is not a CONFRONTATIONAL thing. No one here advised nor supports the way OP went about it.

Second, check the flow of the exchange. OP sends his message (which again no one advised), and when they talk, she FIRST goes into we shouldnt have sex. Now, a chick isnt going from I like this guy and fucking him, to lets not have sex 5 minutes after a message. As much as I dislike OP's 1 text, I cant say its likely she created this UNRELATED "I feel like you just want sex" thing from that. To kill that point, here's an example.

Say you and I are friends in the same city and all that. One day I text you a weird fucked up message about how this friendship isnt going well. You call me, and say "yeah, I think we shouldnt hang out as much because you use me for money" which is something you just told me the other day. Now, I'd be stupid to think that this wasnt something you were thinking about, ESPECIALLY as you had confronted me about it the other day. Should I think, oh, he just said that because of what I said. Well maybe you brought it up because of my unrelated message to money, but obviously you were thinking that and going there.

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This is bad advice. Keeping 9's and 10's in your life is an organic process, and Neo is framing it in a very impatient, needy way. Should the OP bring a clipboard with 20 questions on it so he makes sure the woman is "perfect" for him? LOL. Ummm....not how it works.

Attraction is not a choice. You don't choose who blows you away. There will always be imperfections, and most of the time two people have to grow into each other.


Lol, Arch...whats more ORGANIC that what I said? Whats more ORGANIC than not playing games, and being open? See, Arch words matter. And if you cant use organic with playing games, and these tactics.

Honesty and no games. Theres a word for that. Its ORGANIC. "Letting her bring up something" and "not saying what you like/dislike" thats not organic. I'm not even for rules when it comes to who does what. But you are. And thats not organic, by the definition. You do get the hypocrisy in saying let things be organic and then "Never XYZ" right?

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He followed that advice, and got friend-zoned. So why do you continually advise it?

The "place it comes from" line of PUA advice is such a lame cliche. It means nothing. It's a worthless platitude.


Again, he followed no advice here. If I tell you "hey dont be afraid to tell your boss what you wont like" and you walk into his office, punch him and walk out and get fired...is that you followed my advice and got fired? No.

That's the thing...you pedestal these chicks. "He got friendzoned." And what? You care too much about whether a chick friendzones someone or dumps someone because they were honest. If this chick had told OP, he's a loser and never contacted him again, I wont care. Because I dont want OP to get this chick for the sake of it. I want him to find someone he doesnt have to be afraid of.

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No, that's an ABUNDANCE mentality. It's the mentality of a man who doesn't need a woman to make him happy, because he makes himself happy.


Somehow you miss where N2 and others said, enjoy yourself and be happy with yourself and all that stuff right? "Dont make a woman complete you" or something along those lines.

Again, words matter. All those rules of "never do this" or "let her do this"...thats not abundance. When you have an abundance of something, you're not saying "I cant do X", you just do it. She leaves so what. She dumps you so what. The same guy who is hiking and fishing and has those chicks blowing up his phone, if he thinks "I cant do XYZ because she may leave"....thats just SCARCITY with a bunch of chicks. Abundance doesnt go hand in hand with games or being afraid to express yourself. Your rules, of what should and shouldnt be done, even the very language like "KEEP"...thats not abundance. It means you do what you want, when you want, fuck her if she leaves or dumps you. If you cant do what you want, or find yourself following her lead, thats scarcity.

Abundance isnt "i have alot of girls liking me, but I cant do this or that or they'll leave...thats what 9's and 10's do." Its " I have chicks liking me, I do what I want and the chicks who like me can stay and the others leave." Abundance isnt about whether a chick is a 10 or a 2 affect what you do. And no, before you even go there, its not about bringing a clipboard to dates. Letting things truly organically unfold and having A.M means you say what you think in the moment, good or bad. No games because you're enough. And if you're thinking "it doesnt work like that"...fine, but you're living in scarcity...because you (not you directly Arch) know if you were yourself chicks would leave.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 11:09 pm 
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This forum is basically designed for men who blurt out their feelings right away to women (and over contact them) and thus chase them away. It's called being "emotionally-uncentered".


Again, what you dont see is that you're talking old school stuff. Oh, you lost a chick because you told her you love her on a first date? Never communicate your emotions then. Sure, thats a better strategy, but not the end goal. A guy going from having a problem overcontacting chicks can learn to contact PROPERLY instead of "just text for sex."


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 11:11 pm 
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neo87 wrote:

First, speaking his needs had nothing to do with texting her this dramatic message ending with "take care if you don't." Even Void said over and over, this is not a CONFRONTATIONAL thing. No one here advised nor supports the way OP went about it.

Second, check the flow of the exchange. OP sends his message (which again no one advised), and when they talk, she FIRST goes into we shouldnt have sex. Now, a chick isnt going from I like this guy and fucking him, to lets not have sex 5 minutes after a message. As much as I dislike OP's 1 text, I cant say its likely she created this UNRELATED "I feel like you just want sex" thing from that. To kill that point, here's an example.



So yeah maybe I fucked this up. I had asked her to let me know if she was free over the 3 days weekend and she never responded, so I felt like I wasn't being respected and wasn't afraid to walk away. But yeah the outcome of it was dumb and it fucked me.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 11:19 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Respect is earned, organically. Admiration and emotions are earned, organically. Over time. They aren't earned because you're a man, lol.
Women can respect you as a man immediately. Your drive, accomplishments, and how you carry yourself can see to that. If you've never experienced that, I can understand why you think the way you do.
Arch Stanton wrote:
The OP was not in a relationship. She owes him nothing. He owes her nothing. Your advice is far, far too emotionally needy for a situation where two people barely know each other.
Even though the advice that I gave was to be consistent, I can get why you think this way. You're the same guy that said if you talk to a woman for too long then she will see you as less dominant. That shows a personality flaw (or lack of a personality) that you should fix. Of course you see expressing yourself as emotionally needy. Being emotionally needy is at the base of your personality, so that's why you are fearful of communicating.
Arch Stanton wrote:
It's great advice for men who like jerking off, or slogging 6's.
That's why you should take my advice, it'll give you something better to do than jerking off or slogging 6's.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:43 am 
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DrDork wrote:
And, no, meaningless sex is not what I want. I've had meaningless sex for the past 6 months with multiple girls and I'm over it. If she was still just coming over the fuck and leave to this day, I'd still be unsatisfied. I'm looking for a little passion and intimacy.



With this bit of info, it sounds like bad sex, and maybe it just wasn't a fit. It happens. This is all a numbers game until you meet a girl who floors you.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:47 am 
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DrDork wrote:
So yeah maybe I fucked this up. I had asked her to let me know if she was free over the 3 days weekend and she never responded, so I felt like I wasn't being respected and wasn't afraid to walk away. But yeah the outcome of it was dumb and it fucked me.


Did you text her again after the invite?

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:54 am 
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neo87 wrote:
uch about whether a chick friendzones someone or dumps someone because they were honest. If this chick had told OP, he's a loser and never contacted him again, I wont care. Because I dont want OP to get this chick for the sake of it. I want him to find someone he doesnt have to be afraid of.



Neo, you fail to see that this is a pick up forum. Yes, it matters if a woman friend-zones you, because it means you've made yourself unattractive, and in the context of *attracting women*( (IE this forum) it may have implications into your overall game. That specific woman may not matter, but the overall trend of being unattractive to women you are really attracted to does matter.


And yes, the OP did follow Void's advice to "speak his needs". it sparked him to make a needy phone call and have a Debbie Downer talk with a girl he's fucked twice, which is totally inappropriate and un-centered. The socially valuable 9/10 sensed this, and immediately backed away.

If you want him to romance women he won't be attracted to, tell him to date nuns or obese 5's.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 2:41 am 
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And yes, the OP did follow Void's advice to "speak his needs". it sparked him to make a needy phone call and have a Debbie Downer talk with a girl he's fucked twice, which is totally inappropriate and un-centered. The socially valuable 9/10 sensed this, and immediately backed away.


Lol...you miss where she never responded to his invite. And after he did a move that you said was good. So after she was "chasing and needy" as you said, she still ignored him. You miss where OP says he's been with "attractive" women and this whole her not having him over, was still weird.

Quote:
Neo, you fail to see that this is a pick up forum. Yes, it matters if a woman friend-zones you, because it means you've made yourself unattractive, and in the context of *attracting women*( (IE this forum) it may have implications into your overall game. That specific woman may not matter, but the overall trend of being unattractive to women you are really attracted to does matter.


You fail to see that OP and every one else here say that her behavior was weird. Ok, we're armchair warriors...but OP is in his own shoes. He's been with other "attractive" chicks and saw that her actions were strange.

Of everything you said, the one thing I agree with is sometimes things arent perfect and 2 people have to grow together. OP wanted a meaningful relationship. She claims to same thing. Her actions werent aligned with that. Her behavior was strange, fucking him and not inviting over, claiming she feels he just wants sex when he told her he wanted to talk to her more, leaving after sex then saying HE made her feel cheap. This is a chick with something going on. Maybe it's a small issue, maybe she needs to open up, but she wasn't making efforts. No Arch, attractive women all arent just hiding from stalkers, they all arent just dating/seeing a ton of guys but telling you they're not as she did. They're are chicks who have baggage, who have a bf at home, who have commitment issues and run from anything getting serious. There are enough attractive women who will invite you over and cook for you, they're not off with so many guys they dont have time to respond. You can build this chick up as some gorgeous socialite that stalkers go crazy for...more realistic is she's just a chick with baggage or bad at dating. If she leaves after sex, then tells YOU that YOU made her feel like a pro....chick aint all there in the head. And guess what, if she's had so many stalkers that she's afraid to let the guy she is fucking and going over to, know where she lives....you can imagine whether she can ever open up. See Arch, the chicks who have that level of caution, also have been hurt the worst, so you're advising OP to be patient for a chick with baggage already.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:50 am 
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Does it matter if the woman was acting strange? If she had purple spots or deep, hidden mysterious secrets?


A dominant, patient male can attract, and keep born-again Christians, feminists, hillbillies, strippers, doctors, lawyers, bartenders, atheists, Japanese women, German women, South American women, women with baggage, etc.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 6:41 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Does it matter if the woman was acting strange? If she had purple spots or deep, hidden mysterious secrets?


A dominant, patient male can attract, and keep born-again Christians, feminists, hillbillies, strippers, doctors, lawyers, bartenders, atheists, Japanese women, German women, South American women, women with baggage, etc.
Yes it does matter. It's called standards. You can be patient but why? Time is the most valuable thing that you have and you can't get it back. He doesn't have to keep this girl around and hope she turns herself around because there are absolutely, positively no guarantees that she will. This guy wants a relationship and this isn't the material that he's looking for. He can find new women that won't waste his time. Instead of banging a hot chick that doesn't want to stay the night, he can bang one that does. Right now he's wasting time on this one when he can easily find a new one. Like you said, he doesn't owe her anything and that includes patience.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 6:58 am 
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JackZero wrote:
Arch Stanton wrote:
Does it matter if the woman was acting strange? If she had purple spots or deep, hidden mysterious secrets?


A dominant, patient male can attract, and keep born-again Christians, feminists, hillbillies, strippers, doctors, lawyers, bartenders, atheists, Japanese women, German women, South American women, women with baggage, etc.
Yes it does matter. It's called standards. You can be patient but why? Time is the most valuable thing that you have and you can't get it back. He doesn't have to keep this girl around and hope she turns herself around because there are absolutely, positively no guarantees that she will. This guy wants a relationship and this isn't the material that he's looking for. He can find new women that won't waste his time. Instead of banging a hot chick that doesn't want to stay the night, he can bang one that does. Right now he's wasting time on this one when he can easily find a new one. Like you said, he doesn't owe her anything and that includes patience.


Wrong Jack....as long as he keeps banging her and isn't dumped what else matters? Better to be able to get a wide range of women even the possibly fucked up ones, than the women on the same page as you. Abundance means YOU can fit FIT a wide variety of women. If you have standards and can't attract and keep a woman with issues...then something is wrong with YOU.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 7:08 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Does it matter if the woman was acting strange? If she had purple spots or deep, hidden mysterious secrets?


A dominant, patient male can attract, and keep born-again Christians, feminists, hillbillies, strippers, doctors, lawyers, bartenders, atheists, Japanese women, German women, South American women, women with baggage, etc.

Good god you're more lost than I thought.

I've better things to do than converse with the blind and deaf.


Arch's new nickname is Desperado because he's willing to be anything a girl wants just to have the opportunity to have sex with her.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 7:15 am 
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neo87 wrote:
Wrong Jack....as long as he keeps banging her and isn't dumped what else matters? Better to be able to get a wide range of women even the possibly fucked up ones, than the women on the same page as you. Abundance means YOU can fit FIT a wide variety of women. If you have standards and can't attract and keep a woman with issues...then something is wrong with YOU.
LMFAO...I would have sworn that this was Arch. It's funny how Arch preaches patience. This is the same guy that says he refuses to make a second date with a girl that won't at least suck his dick on the first. Why not give her a few dates for a BJ? She'll eventually come around. Instead it's be patient with women who are acting in a way that you don't like because one day she'll turn herself into what you want.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 7:20 am 
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"Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching."

Getting relationship advice from this guy would be like getting personal training from an obese trainer, or a dentist with gingivitis.


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