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PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 4:49 pm 
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So she still wants to keep having sex? Correct?

A lot of these issues can come from hormonal fluctuations, with the way a lot of these women are eating and some of the birth control methods being used. I've seen this come and go a few days later. Ultimately when a woman is approaching you with these statements they aren't making a decision; they are looking to find out what YOU think about what it is that they've been feeling. Now at that point you can either

A: "Accept their potentially fickle feelings as gospel" resulting in them making a decision based on them,

B:"talk with them about the feeling" and get to the bottom of them can come to a decision together.

C: "Reject it all together" and suggest that you two see if its a passing thing or not. Suggest not making any sudden decision; to give it a week or two and then talk about it again if the feelings are still consistent.

I'd start with C and work my way to B and then A, if the relationship has been healthy and functional.

Now, if she no longer wants to have sex and she's looking to just be friends while she searches for a new mate cut your losses and move on, because its likely she's already found someone.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:17 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Girls don't want to hurt men's feelings; especially their egos. Oxcytocin release and strong emotional attachment are strongly correlated. When a girl feels a strong emotional attachment towards you, she doesn't want to let go. She wants to get closer and make great sacrifices just to be closer to you. In this case, her emotional attachment grew weaker and weaker until it reached the breaking point.
Noted. Good to know.
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If she really wanted to be with you, she'd find a way to make it work.

The feels aren't there, bottom line. Move on.

True. And hey, if this FWB thing doesn't grow into something more naturally, then yeah, nothing else more to do other than to move on. Best thing to do right now is to just back off and not have my hopes up.
So here's where the cynic in me interjects.

You've had time to have something grow naturally. She's not interested in that. So instead you're willing to sacrifice your needs (for a romantic relationship) for a consolation prize of a FWB relationship where she's free to do as she pleases with whomever as you're no longer exclusive. Meanwhile you decide to keep yourself strung along until she finds something better.

Is that respecting yourself? Will that help you grow as a person, and beyond that detach from this relationship that's certainly not working (nor is she willing to work on it) so you can find somebody worth your while?


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:20 am 
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While we get on really well with each other, my girlfriend wants to call it off saying: "I don't know why, I really like you and I really, really want to, but I don't feel a romantic connection with you." Weirder part is she still wants to be friends with benefits as well as good friends afterwards if we do breakup. All this coming from a girl who I've exchanged 'I love you's with.

We first met about 3 months ago, (she's the girl from the 'From casual to "Lets slow down, I like you" thread), we were casual, I made her my girlfriend, and, like I said, we really do get on really well and have fun, we're practically the same person when it comes to hanging out, we love the same things, and the sex is great, but now she says this. Apparently I'm the only boyfriend she's ever had this problem with. (Ha, maybe my attraction game is too strong.)

I'm confused, its so out of the blue, and I was wondering if you guys have come across this, have any opinions, or can shed more light on what is going on?
She's saying she wants to step back from a relationship with you. She's not wanting to work on things, and its only 3 months in.

Do you really want to try and convince this chick to be with you? Come on now.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 9:28 am 
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Quote:
So she still wants to keep having sex? Correct?

A lot of these issues can come from hormonal fluctuations, with the way a lot of these women are eating and some of the birth control methods being used. I've seen this come and go a few days later. Ultimately when a woman is approaching you with these statements they aren't making a decision; they are looking to find out what YOU think about what it is that they've been feeling. Now at that point you can either

A: "Accept their potentially fickle feelings as gospel" resulting in them making a decision based on them,

B:"talk with them about the feeling" and get to the bottom of them can come to a decision together.

C: "Reject it all together" and suggest that you two see if its a passing thing or not. Suggest not making any sudden decision; to give it a week or two and then talk about it again if the feelings are still consistent.

I'd start with C and work my way to B and then A, if the relationship has been healthy and functional.

Now, if she no longer wants to have sex and she's looking to just be friends while she searches for a new mate cut your losses and move on, because its likely she's already found someone.

Great advice.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:01 pm 
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Both of you barely know each other in just 3 months. Maybe she needs more time to know more about you. Give her more time and don't rush things.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:07 am 
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You've had time to have something grow naturally. She's not interested in that. So instead you're willing to sacrifice your needs (for a romantic relationship) for a consolation prize of a FWB relationship where she's free to do as she pleases with whomever as you're no longer exclusive. Meanwhile you decide to keep yourself strung along until she finds something better.

Is that respecting yourself? Will that help you grow as a person, and beyond that detach from this relationship that's certainly not working (nor is she willing to work on it) so you can find somebody worth your while?

What I meant was, while we're FWB, I'll be seeing other people too, and if in the future something happens with this girl naturally, good, if not, then there's nothing else to do. I am moving on, I'm just keeping this girl as a possibility in the future, but thank you.
Quote:
She's saying she wants to step back from a relationship with you. She's not wanting to work on things, and its only 3 months in.

Do you really want to try and convince this chick to be with you? Come on now.
No. I'm aware you can't logic/convince a girl to stay in a relationship.
I wanted to see what others had to say about this, if they had gone through something similar, and sort out my confusion about the romantic connection and the lack of it apparently. We had fun, we found each other hot and all this 'I don't want to date anymore' was kinda outta the blue. I used to think mutual sexual attraction + commonalities + fun hang outs = long, happy relationship. Apparently not.

I know now that you can have all those things but there are countless other reasons why it might not work out. Maybe she is lying to me to spare my feelings or maybe its something she doesn't even know. All I want to do now is look at things that I did incorrectly or could have done better and make sure I'm the best that I can be. Beats following her around, texting her all day, every day.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:08 am 
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I can agree with MC on a technical level that even though she offered fwb situation that could be bs. The issue with this line of thinking though is these guys are dating girls who have com from other relationships which lasted longer. If sex were the issue that would imply that the other bfs were sex gods which doesn't add up when it's stated most guys suck in bed. If orgasms were the issue why are these girls able to stay in other relationships for longer? You'd have to be saying that other guys can achieve real orgasms but then you're saying most guys can't do that.
Sexual skills aren't binary. Think of a gradient and multiple dimensions.

Some guys bust their loads in 2 minutes, some in 3 minutes, some in 4 and so on. Some are good kissers. Some like eating pussy. Some like to use their fingers. Some have thicker cocks. Some have longer dicks. Some can make girls cum via vaginal orgasm by accident and then +20 instances in, fail in sequence. Then next time, they hit the jackpot.

Some girls can cum by riding the dude's dick as long as the guy doesn't bust his load prematurely. Some girls stay long in relationships due to religious beliefs or if the guy is financially stable and has high status in the community BUT will cheat on the side with guys whom they perceive can make them cum.

Answering your question veers away from the topic of this thread and doesn't really help the op. But for the sake of those who think that good sex is not that important in healthy relationships, I've decided to answer your question for the benefit of the lurkers who are puzzled by this situation as well.

I'm the guy whom girls love to cheat with and my answer to your question is based on post sex discussions with girls who provided explanations on why they're cheating or why they want to break up with their husbands or boyfriends. Girls don't simply say, "He sucked in bed" with the guy they're cheating with. Girls almost always provide details on how the guy sucked in bed.

@topic: How's it going op?

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:36 pm 
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@topic: How's it going op?
We haven't fucked once.

I'm glad I've gone through this experience because I've truly learnt that, even if they mean it in the moment, the promise that they want to remain friends/FWBs is probably going to end up being a lie.

We've drifted despite me trying to stay close, but the two times we met up afterwards, she had no problem making out with me, (I've been told I'm an excellent kisser by pretty much everyone), but I'm sure its just for the good kissing and the validation sake. Sex is a no go, (she doesn't even want to sleep in the same bed with me). I know I've made her cum and that I'm certainly the best head she's ever had as well as other things, but we won't fuck now.

The previous posts got me thinking about our sex life, it was good, but I had an injury which kinda prevented full on sex for about two weeks, and what happened before my injury healed? She broke up with me. Surely, an injury she knew would eventually heal couldn't have been the reason, (at least the sole reason). I know we weren't perfect for each other and I wasn't hitting my potential, so why would she stay with me? (Her breaking up with me got me training hard, crushing it, I'm fitter than ever now and doing more with my life.)

So to sum up, despite me being able to get all the making out I want, she won't have sex. We've kinda drifted and I've stopped trying so hard to meet up with her/fuck her and moved on for the most part. I'm just going to continue having my fun for myself and if we end up hanging out again, who knows.

If something does happen with that girl in the future, I'll post it on here, but to me it seems exs fucking is a rare thing.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:54 pm 
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You have a mental strength op that most men don't have. I'm proud of you that you're handling this situation really well.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:11 am 
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Damn MC, the way you hype sex up it really seems like rocket science.

Dude, do you even like having sex? I mean, if you spend 30 minutes ramming and trying to remember Lord of the Rings scenes or reciting the Reservoir Dogs initial tip scene dialogue so you don't cum, you won't really have much fun will you...

Is it that hard to maintain a girl? I mean, I guess you could just learn how to last like 10 minutes in some semi good positions for her and then do some super good oral or make her cum with clitoral before you go in couldn't you. Not trying to bash you since I'm only speaking of theory here but making her cum before seems more efficient. Besides, doing all these methods seems tiresome and robotic.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 4:35 am 
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"I don't know why, I really like you and I really, really want to, but I don't feel a romantic connection with you."
She may have met someone when she went away, who knows. Bottom line, she wanted out of all of it. Sometimes, when they come at you with a line like this, it's best to just cut losses and move on completely and immediately.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 7:23 am 
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Is it that hard to maintain a girl?
It really isn't.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:00 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Is it that hard to maintain a girl?
It really isn't.
That's what I'm talking about, 90% guys have had girlfriends who stayed with them and liked them. Even the nerds in my school have girlfriends sometimes, so it doesn't seem like sex is that vital you know.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2017 6:55 am 
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It is vital. But at your age girls can't tell good sex from bad sex.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2017 9:54 pm 
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It is vital. But at your age girls can't tell good sex from bad sex.
tru lol :lol:


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