She only does it because you allow her to get away with it. When she gives you orders, how do you respond? Do you just do it or do you tell her that you won't tolerate her being disrespectful? If she were to continue the disrespect, do you ask why she prefers being disrespectful in order to get you to do things instead of speaking in a respectful manner?
Here's the problem with that approach. If it's more important for her to talk to you in a disrespectful manner then you may have to let her loose. If you continue to put up with it that will be your relationship as long as you're with her.
I wouldn't say she actually orders me around. It's more of a "Can you do this?" type of question or "I need you to do this", I guess the way I say was more of a pun on the "doctors orders" cliche. She knows I get annoyed when it's phrased like an order.
I guess what I am trying to do is to even avoid that all together and either:
- Let me delegate
- Take initiative myself
- or, if she asks me, call her out on being too lazy to do it -- she has been lazy on things lately.
Sometimes she does nag when things arent done the way she wants. Yes, I know, I have to stand up to her and call her out for being disrespectful. What are some ways I can go about this? I know sometimes she's been too much and I have put my foot down heavily once or twice, but just looking for something lighter...if that makes any sense.
I realize if the changes come she's gonna shit test the hell out of me. So far it's been getting better in spite of us being long distance...and I know full well if it gets any worse I will have to cut her loose.