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You're right, she mentioned how she was the one initiating. Thing is, and I tell guys this all the time, texting is the most impersonal way to talk, so I prefer a phone call. I'd told her this too.
That's an insecure conversation. It shouldn't matter to you if it's a text or a call. It's too early, and you're not in a relationship. You shouldn't convey you care about any of this shit, because it comes off as needy.
Also, the frame is wrong. You want a call because you fear outcome of not communicating well (in your mind). If you're having sex with a woman and have a good in-person connection, texting or calling doesn't matter, just be secure in your in-person abilities....secure enough to understand that your presence is dominant enough that you should never worry about the mode of communication in-between meet ups.
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Last time we spoke I ended up messaging her first, and there was a blockade that wasn't there before.
I fucking guarantee you 100% it wasn't the wrong mode of phone communication that caused that.
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Messaged back and forth for a while but there was no breaking into an 'us' frame.
Why so many texts? I don't even text my gf of 1.6 years this much. And why worry about an "us" frame? You are not exclusive. I don't even worry about an "us" frame with my gf, lol. I live every day in the moment. Enjoy the moment, be light and playful, then get off the phone and go to work (or whatever else you have going on).
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It threw me off entirely. She did mention that she was afraid of me, and had high walls towards people (on account of the drama thats been going on in her life--which women are always capable of generating)
This is a red flag. I've been with plenty of women who said this, all of them either had a boyfriend, or were in a fight with an ex.
Understand that "drama" means complicated issues with other men. She's warning you subconsciously without actually saying the specifics.
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but told me to message her "if I like" about "how the procedure went". For me that there was the red flag.
Another red flag.
However, not uncommon from 9's and 10's who are pulling away from a man due to him being over-invested and smothering. Most men do not pick up on the fact they're being needy, but socially valuable women sniff this out like a grizzly bear on a bison carcass 10 miles up a valley.
Think about that for a second. Would you tell someone you really like to "message me if you like about your surgery"?
Fuck no.
This is what I would tell a woman I wanted nothing to do with anymore.
Also, I'm a little leery of how she came up with that specific response. I'm getting the vibe you got a little needy and over-invested, thus her very dominant male, aloof response to you. And you've stated in this thread you wanted her to step up emotionally concerning the surgery. This hints that you were a lot more invested than her. And your "seed planting" of exclusivity also helps to paint a picture of a guy who got a little too needy before the woman was invested. Overall, the tone I'm getting is she's acting more masculine than you right now.
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If I care about someone enough, it makes sense to call or check up on the person if they have some a medical procedure going on
Yep.
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Whats going on in my mind is i dont want to msg now and hit the same brick wall i hit earlier.
I would not message this girl back for now. You're the prize, her fucking loss. Go see other women.
I did the same thing you did a couple years back with a woman. The only medicine was pulling back, which creates a "needy cleanse".
In June, that girl asked me to break up with my gf and to take her camping instead. I told her "no."
There is always someone younger, hotter, and smarter.