Forum rules


Relationship Subforum Rules

1. Posts about how to get a girlfriend will result in a ban.


2. Posts about your ex-girlfriend will result in a ban.

3. Any other posts not related to your current girlfriend will result in a ban.



Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Girlfriend's mindset
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 3:14 am 
Offline
Ask a mod for a custom title

Joined: Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:34 pm
Posts: 3993
:Now I have talked to her about her behavior, she too knows its bad but she gets all defensive and says "That's the way I am, why can't you love me the way I am "

translated as meaning "you aren't hearing me, and I don't feel connection to you as a result and I'm feeling exasperated"

She's not getting the empathy she's looking for. As another person suggested, connect to her at the feeling level.

If you're coming at her with logic/problem solving u'll lose her everytime. Connect to what's alive in someone first (how they're feeling), there'll be plenty of time for problem solving MUCH MUCH later.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Girlfriend's mindset
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 3:53 am 
Offline
Ask a mod for a custom title

Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:32 am
Posts: 3904
Quote:
Quote:
What are the fights about?
Well depends from time to time, but mostly about insecurities. Like recently she got really insecure about me having a lot of close female friends. Then we had a fight on how, she gets annoyed that I reply my messages late.

It sounds to me like your gf is insecure and needs attention alot. Try connecting on an emotional level for sure but I dont even know if that will be enough tbh. If she's insecure like that, she's insecure like that. Think of it like this, if your gf had a guy friend she was close to and he texted her abt sex with another girl, it would feel a certain way. Even if you knew they were just friends, its tough to not feel that way. I see it as something you can help her become more secure with, like by connecting emotionally or bringing her around these female friends more. But imo it depends on whether she can become secure enough in herself and understand it.

Ps, you dont need to tell your gf ABOUT A FRIEND'S PERIODS. Its not her business. "I'm helping a friend out" should be enough. You dont need to go reporting a friend's personal business to your chick. If she needs to know every conversation you have, you're with a chick thats way too needy.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Girlfriend's mindset
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 1:57 pm 
Offline
King Among Mortals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 8:36 pm
Posts: 7592
Location: United States
Quote:
The problem with these female friends are, I used to be an guardian angel for them.
That is such complete bullshit. A fantasy existing only in your mind. Like a Bigfoot riding a Unicorn.

Shit doesn't exist.

You were either a servant orbiter - emergency dick in a jar orbiter - and you have long dreamed of one of their vaginas falling on your dick.

Or you were fucking one or two of them.

And you are still hoping, by remaining to be an emotional tampon.

No wonder your GF is pissy.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Girlfriend's mindset
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 4:59 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 6:33 am
Posts: 8
Quote:
Quote:
The problem with these female friends are, I used to be an guardian angel for them.
That is such complete bullshit. A fantasy existing only in your mind. Like a Bigfoot riding a Unicorn.

Shit doesn't exist.

You were either a servant orbiter - emergency dick in a jar orbiter - and you have long dreamed of one of their vaginas falling on your dick.

Or you were fucking one or two of them.

And you are still hoping, by remaining to be an emotional tampon.

No wonder your GF is pissy.
I don't want to fuck each and every girl friend of mine, I've got plenty of that.. What I gain out of helping them is a sort of happiness, a good feeling and it has nothing to do with being an orbitar,those days are long gone by.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Girlfriend's mindset
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 5:08 pm 
Offline
The Grand Puba
User avatar

Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:17 pm
Posts: 5962
Location: Los Angeles
OP, how well does your girlfriend know these women?

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Girlfriend's mindset
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 8:06 pm 
Offline
Ask a mod for a custom title

Joined: Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:34 pm
Posts: 3993
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
The problem with these female friends are, I used to be an guardian angel for them.
That is such complete bullshit. A fantasy existing only in your mind. Like a Bigfoot riding a Unicorn.

Shit doesn't exist.

You were either a servant orbiter - emergency dick in a jar orbiter - and you have long dreamed of one of their vaginas falling on your dick.

Or you were fucking one or two of them.

And you are still hoping, by remaining to be an emotional tampon.

No wonder your GF is pissy.
I don't want to fuck each and every girl friend of mine, I've got plenty of that.. What I gain out of helping them is a sort of happiness, a good feeling and it has nothing to do with being an orbitar,those days are long gone by.
Ultimately if you can't allay your Gfs insecurities, u'll have to make a choice.

I've been there before. I have several female friends (of which the relationships are entirely plutonic) and dated an insecure woman who acted fine with everything initially only to give ultimatums that I ditch first one, and then another or lose her. This girl even had an "after 7 rule" (pretty funny) where she'd said I was forbidden to hangout with ANY female friend after 7pm, unless she too was present. I realized it had nothing to do with me and that I didn't want to suffer trying to continually help allay someone else's insecure mindset so I ended it with her, though she kept trying to come back into my life but that's a whole other story.

And ya, I disagree with Hambone Jawlock in that you can have female friends without them being orbiters. If they've been in your life before you met your partner, and you're good with boundaries then your partner should respect that and if not bye bye. Never ditch the people that are important to you for someone you're dating, unless of course they're saying disparaging things towards your partner and refuse to stop. Doing so will only compromise your own values and if the relationship goes sideways, well you've lost some pretty important supports in your life and u'll likely end up trying to get them back and regret having dumped them.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Girlfriend's mindset
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2016 10:43 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 16, 2014 1:37 am
Posts: 9
Location: UK
Quote:
Ultimately if you can't allay your Gfs insecurities, u'll have to make a choice.

And ya, I disagree with Hambone Jawlock in that you can have female friends without them being orbiters. If they've been in your life before you met your partner, and you're good with boundaries then your partner should respect that and if not bye bye. Never ditch the people that are important to you for someone you're dating, unless of course they're saying disparaging things towards your partner and refuse to stop. Doing so will only compromise your own values and if the relationship goes sideways, well you've lost some pretty important supports in your life and u'll likely end up trying to get them back and regret having dumped them.
Totally agree, plus don't try to convince her with logic, women are emotional, not logical. :)


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 22 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link