Girlfriend having a guy best friend weird or no?


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 5:17 am 
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This is a serious dilemma :shock: , You trust her right ?

You better meet and know her "BESTFRIEND" just be respectful


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 8:43 am 
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Think that is bad? Try having a girlfriend who has a guy best friend and a group of guy friends, who talk over a Facebook group chat all day, every day. Some girls (like my girlfriend) are tomboyish and tend to have more guy friends than girls.

Luckily, I've met them all, they pose no threat to me and are cool and supportive about our relationship.

The key for you is to meet this guy and see how it goes. If he is such a good friend, he would have been on her case to meet you anyway and she would want you two to be friends too (I meet up for lunch with my girlfriend's best friend once a week because we work near to eachother. We all went for dinner this Monday gone and we're even going to a cereal cafe as a group next week)

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:27 pm 
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more guy friends than girls. Luckily, I've met them all, they pose no threat to me and are cool and supportive about our relationship.


They do want to fuck her, they just do not have the bravado nor mental capability to figure out how.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:34 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
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more guy friends than girls. Luckily, I've met them all, they pose no threat to me and are cool and supportive about our relationship.


They do want to fuck her, they just do not have the bravado nor mental capability to figure out how.


Probably. Just like any guy wants to fuck any attractive girl. But after knowing her for 3+ years, it hasn't happened. If it didn't happen when she was single, it isn't going to happen when she's CHOSEN to be in a relationship with me, someone who by and large has his shit together and is giving her great sex and a happy/exciting relationship. Like I said, they pose no threat to me.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:35 pm 
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Slick_uk wrote:
Think that is bad? Try having a girlfriend who has a guy best friend and a group of guy friends, who talk over a Facebook group chat all day, every day. Some girls (like my girlfriend) are tomboyish and tend to have more guy friends than girls.

Luckily, I've met them all, they pose no threat to me and are cool and supportive about our relationship.

The key for you is to meet this guy and see how it goes. If he is such a good friend, he would have been on her case to meet you anyway and she would want you two to be friends too (I meet up for lunch with my girlfriend's best friend once a week because we work near to eachother. We all went for dinner this Monday gone and we're even going to a cereal cafe as a group next week)


You're kidding yourself OP.

Guys don't necessarily have to be thirsty baboons, and they may very well encourage your relationship and keep it light, but don't kid yourself that if she were to walk up to one of them and say "I want you to fuck me" they'd be like "No, I can't because I want to preserve your relationship".

Every single one of my female friends, at some point in our relationship, I either have fucked, have wanted to fuck or they have wanted to fuck me.

I'm not saying anything will happen or has happened. I'm just saying that there's no platonic friendship between men and women. One party at the very least, has at least some sort of interest.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:51 pm 
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R.C wrote:
Slick_uk wrote:
Think that is bad? Try having a girlfriend who has a guy best friend and a group of guy friends, who talk over a Facebook group chat all day, every day. Some girls (like my girlfriend) are tomboyish and tend to have more guy friends than girls.

Luckily, I've met them all, they pose no threat to me and are cool and supportive about our relationship.

The key for you is to meet this guy and see how it goes. If he is such a good friend, he would have been on her case to meet you anyway and she would want you two to be friends too (I meet up for lunch with my girlfriend's best friend once a week because we work near to eachother. We all went for dinner this Monday gone and we're even going to a cereal cafe as a group next week)


You're kidding yourself OP.

Guys don't necessarily have to be thirsty baboons, and they may very well encourage your relationship and keep it light, but don't kid yourself that if she were to walk up to one of them and say "I want you to fuck me" they'd be like "No, I can't because I want to preserve your relationship".

Every single one of my female friends, at some point in our relationship, I either have fucked, have wanted to fuck or they have wanted to fuck me.

I'm not saying anything will happen or has happened. I'm just saying that there's no platonic friendship between men and women. One party at the very least, has at least some sort of interest.


I'm not the OP...

Of course there is always more interest in the male party, I know this. I didn't mention that these guys are all acquaintances of mine because we work in the same entertainment field. Of course I wouldn't expect them to preserve my relationship when offered the chance to fuck my girl, I'm just saying to the ACTUAL OP that there's no point in worrying about it, so long as you look out for actual red flags.

In your example, you may have had female friends wanting to fuck you, because your game is on point, you have your shit together and you know what you're doing. As I said, these guys are no threat to me.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:32 pm 
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Slick_uk wrote:
In your example, you may have had female friends wanting to fuck you, because your game is on point, you have your shit together and you know what you're doing. As I said, these guys are no threat to me.


The point there was that friendship between men and women is always sparked from attraction. That's in my opinion relevant knowledge.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 4:22 pm 
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R.C wrote:
Slick_uk wrote:
In your example, you may have had female friends wanting to fuck you, because your game is on point, you have your shit together and you know what you're doing. As I said, these guys are no threat to me.


The point there was that friendship between men and women is always sparked from attraction. That's in my opinion relevant knowledge.


In your own experiences you mean?

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Last edited by Slick_uk on Thu Jun 22, 2017 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 6:18 pm 
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Furiox wrote:
Hi guys,

Have a new girlfriend for 3 months now, been dating 3 months before i made her my GF so i know her about 6 months total. When we were dating she told me she has this guy best friend who she has for years, i told her at that time i don't believe in guys and girls being best friends because there is always 1 of the 2 who secretly wants more.... hows your personal view on this thought? She said this is bullshit blablabla guys and girls can be best friends...

Now she moved back to her old city where he lives so she spends more time with him now, just sended me some snaps of them drinking in a bar alone... i am a stable guy but this got me a bit jealous and i don't really like my girlfriend drinking with another dude 1v1 regardless if its her best friend, she also has a ring that she got from him years back, all this shit got me in a place i used to be in when i was younger and i don't like the games that are involved.

Do i call her out on it and become the jealous insecure boyfriend or play it cool? My thought is to play it cool but i don't like being disrespected either..


So right out of the gate you two have an incompatible belief.

How important is holding onto this belief? If its a deal breaker for you then this won't work. You're waisting your time with this person as you're clearly going to experience a lot of resistance. If its something you decide is impeding your ability to have LTRs then perhaps its a good idea to explore the belief and whether its worth holding onto.


Is this more about setting boundaries rather than beliefs about male / female friendships?

-her being in close proximity to him
-having drinks 1 on 1 together whilst snapping
-her having a ring from him (does she wear it?)

They sound like close friends, do you feel they have a history beyond friendship?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 7:15 am 
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Slick_uk wrote:
In your own experiences you mean?


I'd say in general. The majority of "friendships" between men and women are not platonic.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 9:23 pm 
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Been a while since i came to the forums, quick update since the topic is still active:

Met the guy a few times now and he is chill, could be a friend of mine, i don't see a threat in him as he is not that good looking, 6 years younger than me and 1 year younger then my gf, also he has a gf and i can see how my gf and him communicate its just friendship.

Sometimes we need to let our emotions be for a couple of months and then if its still there act on it, in this exame i thought they could off been more then friends but now months later it does not affect me anymore, its like this with many issues i encouter during love so my advice would be to give your emotions some time and look back at it in about 2 months.

Offcourse sometimes you should address it faster but 9/10 times its in your head at least with me.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 9:26 pm 
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R.C wrote:
Slick_uk wrote:
In your own experiences you mean?


I'd say in general. The majority of "friendships" between men and women are not platonic.




Yeah. Most of these "friendships" usually consist of an attractive woman, and a guy who wants her badly but is a complete chicken to do anything about it. Or, conversely, I have friends who are women who are chunky/obese that I'd never touch, but we still talk. I know they'd sleep with me.

So it works both ways.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 10:19 pm 
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Furiox wrote:
Been a while since i came to the forums, quick update since the topic is still active:

Met the guy a few times now and he is chill, could be a friend of mine, i don't see a threat in him as he is not that good looking, 6 years younger than me and 1 year younger then my gf, also he has a gf and i can see how my gf and him communicate its just friendship.

Sometimes we need to let our emotions be for a couple of months and then if its still there act on it, in this exame i thought they could off been more then friends but now months later it does not affect me anymore, its like this with many issues i encouter during love so my advice would be to give your emotions some time and look back at it in about 2 months.

Offcourse sometimes you should address it faster but 9/10 times its in your head at least with me.

So she's only allowed to have male friends so long as you perceive them to be less attractive/desirable than you...


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 9:54 am 
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Nah she can be friends with super models if she wants , i trust her more then i did in the start of the relationship.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:26 pm 
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Furiox wrote:
Nah she can be friends with super models if she wants , i trust her more then i did in the start of the relationship.

Really? Yet you had an issue with her hanging w a male friend until you saw him and deemed him less good looking.


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