My girl is sexting other guys


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 11:16 am 
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So I met this girl on tinder about a month ago and we hit it off. Been banging her regularly since the second date and spending lots of our free time together. I'm happy, she seems really happy but I did notice she texts lots of guys even while with me. She did tell me how most of her friends are guys because she hates friendships with girls and was even telling me about how some of these guys are gay and also one that's messed up from fighting in Iraq that will probably never have anyone because of his emotional state. I was also cool and said that until anything is official, as in bf/gf, you're free to text whomever you want(as I except the same in return). So we were out last night and having dinner at a local bar, I notice she's texting a ton and as I look over at her I can see part of the screen. It's a guy, and I see mmmmm and he's talking about giving her his cock and how they are going to meet up Saturday and he wants her to wear a skirt. I'm just thinking wtf and play it cool the rest of the night. We go home, cuddle and fall asleep. Sex in the morning. She wants to see me Saturday. So what do I make of this? Am I handling it right? Thinking too much?


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 11:42 am 
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If it bothers you that she might be sleeping with other guys or whatever then say to her that you want something more exclusive and official if you don't give a shit and you're happy keeping it casual with the knowledge you can both do whatever (or rather whoever) don't keep it causal if you're not okay with what that means but if you want the freedom then keep it relaxed


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 12:31 pm 
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My girl is sexting other guys


Dump. Seriously, is it worth it?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 12:53 pm 
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She's not your girlfriend, so you can't expect her to act like a girlfriend and if you're not exclusive, you can't say anything about this really. If you want to be exclusive then have that chat with her.

Personally, this sounds like a red flag to me anyway. If you don't want to be with her because of this, end it and tell her why.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:20 pm 
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I don't want to come off as an eavesdropper so how do I confront. I mean if she's willing to give this shit up, I'm willing to make her my gf. When I brought up Saturday causally, she said she was free..


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:53 pm 
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If she's hot, guys will pursue her, and she just replying to messages it could be nothing more than that, if you can honestly believe that the other guys are nothing compared to you, then you will naturally come across as more attractive and appealing to her because you will be confident and emotionally secure, rather than insecure.

However if she's straight up sexting right in front of you, she's garbage.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 2:24 pm 
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Slick_uk wrote:
She's not your girlfriend, so you can't expect her to act like a girlfriend and if you're not exclusive, you can't say anything about this really. If you want to be exclusive then have that chat with her.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 2:28 pm 
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billmincersucks wrote:
I don't want to come off as an eavesdropper so how do I confront. I mean if she's willing to give this shit up, I'm willing to make her my gf. When I brought up Saturday causally, she said she was free..


If she's free and with you Saturday, then she isn't fucking that other guy then. The question is if it is something you want to pursue. If you want to be exclusive, talk to her about exclusivity and leave it at that. If you're exclusive and you see her doing this shit, call her out on it. It's not really eavesdropping or snooping if it's done right in front of you. You'd be more of a idiot if you didn't see it in my opinion.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 5:48 pm 
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Slick_uk wrote:
billmincersucks wrote:
I don't want to come off as an eavesdropper so how do I confront. I mean if she's willing to give this shit up, I'm willing to make her my gf. When I brought up Saturday causally, she said she was free..


If she's free and with you Saturday, then she isn't fucking that other guy then. The question is if it is something you want to pursue. If you want to be exclusive, talk to her about exclusivity and leave it at that. If you're exclusive and you see her doing this shit, call her out on it. It's not really eavesdropping or snooping if it's done right in front of you. You'd be more of a idiot if you didn't see it in my opinion.


Well said. Thanks! I will definitely talk to her about being exclusive, say I've been hurt before and don't wanna go through it again. See how things go. And if I see this behavior after that, I won't hesitate to call it out.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:39 pm 
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Hmm... I'm not so sure about the exclusivity talk. She's already demonstrated she's not being exclusive. This reminds me of my past "relationship" ... I was "exclusive" with this woman and at the same time was dating others.

You can do it, but you know she is talking to other guys. I know it sucks becase you think she's hot and all but I'd probably just be up front and say "I know you've been talking to other guys and I'm not ok with that. I'm sorry but I can't see you anymore."

Then of course you still see her if she wants too have sex and all that. But at the same time you talk to other people. If she's doing it, you can to.


Last edited by masterm1ne on Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:41 pm 
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She's sexting guys when she's with you? Sorry from a respect standpoint that's a red flag. My simple rule is if you gotta tell a chick to respect you.. Don't.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:53 pm 
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Ouch. Exclusive or not, if you were doing your job in bed, this wouldn't be happening. A big hint you need to get way dirtier and more shocking with your girl.

Forget having "the talk". Show up better in your day to day and she'll bring it up eventually.

Also, why are you buying a girl dinner who is only a friends with benefits? Nice dinners are for exclusive relationships. FWB's are my house/your house only.

Start respecting yourself, and women will in turn respect you.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 7:59 pm 
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About the exclusively thing. I am like 90% sure she hasn't done anything with these guys. It is because she is a single mother who shared custody of her kid and the majority of her free time has been spent with me and she has been staying over my place whenever we are together. So I'm not sure where the time to meet these guys is as she does work and has her kid 3-4 days a week who she hasn't introduced me to yet. I did have issues in bed a couple times but it was due to heavy drinking and when I sobered up I was able to give her some good nailings so I think I'm doing my part there. Haha. I might just call her out on it and see what happens..good chance she reassures me nothing is going on or tells me to fuck off. Going with the latter honestly.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 8:11 pm 
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billmincersucks wrote:
About the exclusively thing. I am like 90% sure she hasn't done anything with these guys. It is because she is a single mother who shared custody of her kid and the majority of her free time has been spent with me and she has been staying over my place whenever we are together.



If she's sexting other guys, they are guys she's fucked, or is fucking.



Quote:
I did have issues in bed a couple times but it was due to heavy drinking and when I sobered up I was able to give her some good nailings so I think I'm doing my part there.



Too many guys on this forum are lushes. Blacking out and getting wasted is beta behavior.

and no, my friend, if you were REALLY showing up in bed, she wouldn't be sexting guys.

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Haha. I might just call her out on it and see what happens


You are not exclusive. There is nothing you can do except walk away, or show up better.

Right now, you're the nice guy bitch who buys her dinner and takes care of her without her being emotionally invested enough to want to be exclusive...while she sexts other guys who excite her.

If you want her in your life and to respect you, get her off the pedestal and treat her in a way congruent with what you are: friends with benefits, nothing else. No dinners, no emotional texts, no listening to her problems with her kids, etc. Just fucking...nothing more nothing less. Date other women, too.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 8:49 pm 
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Show up better? And how would you suggest?
On a side note, I am going to a baseball game with another girl tonight who has bought me tickets..maybe I'm not as beta as you think...


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