Friends with benefits to dating? Lost ATTRACTION


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:12 am 
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Hello brothers, longtime lurker here and every time I have a question I log on here and always get the best advice.

I've been seeing this girl pretty regularly now and when I first met her we hit it off pretty well, we hung out a few times before I F closed, however she initiated the sex on me and suggested we be friends with benefits.

Fast Foward 3 months, she always tells me that the sex great and I even made her orgasm a few times. But where I'm most confused is she doesn't want a relationship but yet we hang out like if we are a couple and even go on dates and make out, I totally feel it when we're hanging out. She's even mention of meeting her parents in the future.

However in the last couple weeks, contact had died she used to message me everyday, now it's always me initiating but I only text every few days make her and run some cocky/funny. I think I may have been too available to her, but let it be known I'm a good looking guy way better looking than her but I caught feelings after 5 lays.

How can I get her to chase me? Or I want to get her to tell me where we stand, I get pretty lazy to go out and sarge because I think of her most of the time. But honestly for me I want to end it. I jokingly told her that I wasn't going to have sex anymore and she said I was being mean.

What should I do? I think I should keep seeing her until she brings it up? That's what I have been reading and seems like it's the route to take but she hides her feelings she won't confess, she even told me she hides her feelings.

So far I already tried to get her jealous but that didn't work, she posted a status on social media and said some "boy" tied to get her jealous but she doesn't feel the same way.

Should I try a frezeout? We last spoke yesterday and I was kind of being and jerk and told her she should have sex with other guys she can't just be having sex with me all the time. I'm not sure at this point I feel like having sex and then asking where we stand.

We have created memerable moments together, experience she would never forget she said she was a "good girl" until she met me, she also said she doesn't wanna have sex with other guys just me? I feel like for some reason she wants more but just isn't there yet. She even neglects her friends to go out with me

We're both 20 and she told me after sex im second guys she's only ever slept with. We always have the best of times together we even planned on going for vacation but I'm going to cancel and say something came up

She likes to compliment and also said I'm the funniest guy she's ever met! I usually just run Push/Pull but I think I've been doing it too much. I don't know how to continue tbh? Luckliy I turn 21 this weekend and will have plenty of females on my Snap Chat stories maybe she'll get jealous then but has failed before

Whoever has been through this or know what I should do plz help I'll bow down to your knees.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 6:22 am 
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DerGoleem wrote:
Fast Foward 3 months, she always tells me that the sex great and I even made her orgasm a few times.


It needs to be every time.

Quote:
But where I'm most confused is she doesn't want a relationship but yet we hang out like if we are a couple and even go on dates and make out, I totally feel it when we're hanging out. She's even mention of meeting her parents in the future.


Mixed emotions. That's women for you.



Quote:
How can I get her to chase me? Or I want to get her to tell me where we stand



No, just no.

You aren't dating. She has never brought up exclusivity, in fact, you've informed me in this thread she's said she "doesn't want a relationship", which tells me you already had "the talk" with her. These kinds of "Debbie Downer" talks are probably what made her pull away from you.

And now you want to do it again?

"Finding out where you stand" is what insecure and emotionally-uncentered men do. And it drives women away.

A man who is centered, chill, fit, playful, good in bed, and fearless of rejection lives from day to day, and enjoys the moment. He does not corral a woman...because he doesn't have to. His dominant behavior has them obsessed with him.




Quote:
I get pretty lazy to go out and sarge because I think of her most of the time. But honestly for me I want to end it. I jokingly told her that I wasn't going to have sex anymore and she said I was being mean.



So weak.


Quote:
What should I do? I think I should keep seeing her until she brings it up? That's what I have been reading and seems like it's the route to take but she hides her feelings she won't confess, she even told me she hides her feelings.


Do you know why a girl hides her feelings? Because she doesn't feel safe with you. Yet. She's still got her toe in the water on you.

Things that will make a woman not feel safe: emotionally-uncentered men, men who contact them constantly, neurotic men, negative men.

And honestly she may just not have feelings for you like you do her. I've found that women like this are "solved" in the bedroom by leading and dominating in bed. Passionate, really hard fucking...as hard as you can, and giving orgasms. Act like a dominant male in all facets, and women will be horrified when you don't text them for 12 hours.


Quote:
So far I already tried to get her jealous but that didn't work, she posted a status on social media and said some "boy" tied to get her jealous but she doesn't feel the same way.


This woman is more emotionally-centered than you, and more emotionally intelligent.

You are acting like the woman, and she the dominant male.


Quote:
We last spoke yesterday and I was kind of being and jerk and told her she should have sex with other guys she can't just be having sex with me all the time. I'm not sure at this point I feel like having sex and then asking where we stand.


Neurotic. Weak.

Learn to control your emotions and stop acting weak. Show some fucking self-awareness and look at the world. Go to cnn.com and read the news. have the brain-power to step outside of yourself for a few minutes. And then fucking ask yourself WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? You have a cute girl who is having sex with you.

What is the problem?



Quote:
We have created memerable moments together


Jesus christ.

Quote:
experience she would never forget she said she was a "good girl" until she met me, she also said she doesn't wanna have sex with other guys just me? I feel like for some reason she wants more but just isn't there yet.


She's not there yet because you're acting like a boy and not a man.

Stop having all these negative talks. Ratio should be 90/10 fun to negative or 95/5.


Quote:
Luckliy I turn 21 this weekend and will have plenty of females on my Snap Chat stories maybe she'll get jealous then but has failed before

Whoever has been through this or know what I should do plz help I'll bow down to your knees.


Don't bow down to anyone. Act like a man. Be happy in the moment, focus on your career.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 6:43 am 
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Thank you for the hard advice I really reflected and I seemed to have fallen off somewhere.

Should I keep inviting her for sex and activities together or just strictly sex? She's continues going out with me despite how childish I've been acting but I'm going to be more dominant in bed and tell her what to do.

I'm going to contact her in the next few days and have her come over and pound away, she's very inexperienced sexually.
I want to date her Or how should I proceed?

Thanks brother


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 7:11 am 
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DerGoleem wrote:
I'm going to contact her in the next few days and have her come over and pound away, she's very inexperienced sexually.
I want to date her Or how should I proceed?

Thanks brother



Yeah, just invite her over in a couple days.

But you need to get "date" out of your mind. Again, what is the problem? A cute girl is having sex with you.

A woman will ask you to be exclusive when you prove you are good in bed, emotionally-centered, fun, and not blowing up her phone constantly. She will be obsessed with you.

Take a sticky note, and write this on it, then tape it to your phone:

"Is this a negatively emotional text? Am I texting too much?"

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:00 am 
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Thanks man you might have saved me, I'll invite her over and pound that pussy. Hopefully it's not all lost but thanks so much !


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 9:04 am 
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Let us know how it turns out.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:39 am 
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Go meet other women. You've said you're way better looking than this chick, and she doesnt want exclusivity with you. Why waste your time trying to change that when you can find someone better? It sounds like you're just lazy and want to settle.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:48 pm 
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I was in a similar situation years ago. Had a FWB from work that I wanted to date, she said she wasn't ready to be exclusive, so I focused my time on myself, gym, doing things with friends, seeing other chicks, basically putting other things ahead of her, whilst still fucking her. When she found my POF profile, she wanted to be exclusive. But at that point I was having too much fun doing what I wanted to and looking forward to a trip to ibiza, that I no longer wanted to be exclusive with her.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 12:18 am 
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You want to end it yet you've expended so much energy trying to get her to chase you?


Makes sense


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 2:44 am 
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Thanks for everyone's insights!

UPDATE: I invited her over and she said she was on her period but wanted to come smoke and chill?

I said okay... and we scheduled to hang out and smoke on Thursday

Call me insecure but I sense she'll flake...

Might have some serious inner game issues, I'm going to spend the whole weekend getting drunk and sarging women.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:23 am 
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DerGoleem wrote:
Thanks for everyone's insights!

UPDATE: I invited her over and she said she was on her period but wanted to come smoke and chill?

I said okay... and we scheduled to hang out and smoke on Thursday

Call me insecure but I sense she'll flake...

Might have some serious inner game issues, I'm going to spend the whole weekend getting drunk and sarging women.

This has never been about her, it has always been about you though you're looking externally for the answers.

Until you come to this realization, no change will be made and the cycle will only repeat itself - if not with this woman, it will certainly be another.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:19 am 
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n2thevoid wrote:
DerGoleem wrote:
Thanks for everyone's insights!

UPDATE: I invited her over and she said she was on her period but wanted to come smoke and chill?

I said okay... and we scheduled to hang out and smoke on Thursday

Call me insecure but I sense she'll flake...

Might have some serious inner game issues, I'm going to spend the whole weekend getting drunk and sarging women.

This has never been about her, it has always been about you though you're looking externally for the answers.

Until you come to this realization, no change will be made and the cycle will only repeat itself - if not with this woman, it will certainly be another



Right, I see. I just have a lack of social interactions, but have been going out more.

Anyways, She just told me she was on her Period and then she suggested to hang out on Friday, then she said she was going to "let me know, cause she's getting sick", I continued the convo lightly and told her hopes she feels better and that was it.

I think I've been to available...I'm going to set extra plans on Friday, so even if she lets me know I'll tell her I'm already doing something else...and then tell her we should hang out next week instead.

I think I am going to pull back abit and only try to keep contact to once a week, or hell I won't even contact her until she does me... hang with another girl and put her on my Snapchat story so see can she I'm with another female

Anyways after reading this forum I realize more and more the problem isn't her or anything it's deep within me and I think I'm going to start working on myself now

Thanks fellas


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:40 am 
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DerGoleem wrote:
Anyways, She just told me she was on her Period and then she suggested to hang out on Friday, then she said she was going to "let me know, cause she's getting sick", I continued the convo lightly and told her hopes she feels better and that was it.


Dude I advised you to wait a couple days before asking her over. This girl is on the fence, let her wonder about you. Giving them space can sometimes wipe out previous neediness on your part.


Quote:
I think I've been to available...I'm going to set extra plans on Friday, so even if she lets me know I'll tell her I'm already doing something else...and then tell her we should hang out next week instead.


"I'll let you know" is pretty much the kiss of death, lol. It means a woman is losing attraction, usually. A girl who is obsessed with you would not say this. She'd drop everything to hang out.

I'd make those other Friday plans.

Quote:
I think I am going to pull back abit and only try to keep contact to once a week, or hell I won't even contact her until she does me... hang with another girl and put her on my Snapchat story so see can she I'm with another female


Wrong frame. Meet other women for the purpose of meeting BETTER women, not making this woman jealous. That can be a side goal, but not the direct goal.

Quote:
Anyways after reading this forum I realize more and more the problem isn't her or anything it's deep within me and I think I'm going to start working on myself now

Thanks fellas


We all learned this long ago. You can only control how you show up.

That's it. You can't control women, the weather, etc. Everything comes down to how you show up, day in and day out. And women will gravitate to you like a magnet when you are doing all the right things.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:25 am 
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To be honest my emotions took over, I thought it was a good idea to contact since we only spoke once last week but hung out and had sex the weekend before.

I appreciate the help, but I need to know what to do? I feel so lost and blind pretty needy I'll post chat logs.


Me: Hey down to Hang out this week?
Her: When?
Me: Tomorrow 9 am or Friday is good :)
Her: Wait I'm on my period :(
Me: Aww that sucks! I wanted to kind away like never before! Ha No probs
Her: ahahahahahaha omg goshhhh
we can dab and chill how's Friday?
Me: Friday 10 am?
1hr later
Her: okay but I will let you know cause I'm sick :(
Me: Okay, I hope you feel better!
Her: me too cause I feel like I'm dying
Me: I wish I could help you out I hate being sick.
Her: It's okay, My sis puked on me like 3 times
Me: ugk! Gross you'll be normal soon I'm sure !

That was the convo, what do you guys think? If she doesn't want to see me anymore why does she keep talkin. To me?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:25 am 
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I'm just gonna stop responding I feel like I've failed I'll just move on


Last edited by DerGoleem on Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

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