) So in Octo..." />

Feel shitty after a breakup from a beautiful girl of 1 year



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Tools & Techniques of Game: Meeting, Attracting and Seducing Women » Relationships


Forum rules


Relationship Subforum Rules

1. Posts about how to get a girlfriend will result in a ban.


2. Posts about your ex-girlfriend will result in a ban.

3. Any other posts not related to your current girlfriend will result in a ban.



Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 6:01 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:10 pm
Posts: 15
Hi,

I'm an on and off pua (if there exists such a thing! :-( ) So in October 2015, I met this really pretty girl in my office who was already in a relationship of 6 years. I was 28, she was 24 then. We began going and we liked each other and eventually, after a lot of hickups and bullshit, she eventually broke up with her guy to be with me. But she stayed friends with him. All fine.

Then I started noticing that she wouldn't put my pictures on fb but had loads of pics of her ex. I confronted her about this and she said she woudln't remove those pics and put mine after getting engaged or something..(we were planning to get married) ..after shitty fight on this, I called her a "whore" and we broke up. But immediately I learnt that she had begun going out with her bunch of friends that also contained "him".

I became beta instantly and called her and we made up and we began being together again but she was clear she wouldn't remove his pics and put mine at a right time.

I didn't say anything..

We made love in the coming months and it was okay. We just didn't confront each other on that topic and she remained friends with him although with almost no contact.

In march this year, she invited him to her brothers wedding after seeking my "permission". Initially I said okay but when I saw her giving him full attention and introducing me to her college friends and him as "a friend" i freaked out and went away from the party and texted her that I didn't want to see her again.

She emailed me and said you're a psycho and all and some exchanges of similar emails later all ended.

We haven't spoken or seen each other since about 4-5 weeks now.

But when I see her pics on fb and all, I get into my loser thinking mode and I think I might never find such a beautiful girl again. And I feel loser to that guy, her ex. Apparently he was rich, was of a metro city and she never ever said anything to put me above him or to show that she valued me over him which made me sad. I did speak to her about this and said "i wouldn't be able to replace him in your life evr.." and she said..."u have a different space in my heart why do u want to replace his.." which was very very hurting..

and now it hurts me more to think that

1) i might not be able to find a beautiful girl as her to be my gf, given my age (30 now) and the social environment I'm stuck in (9-5 IT job in India)
2) she will go back to him easily and they will get married and she never valued me over him even when i was head over heels for her
3) she moved on soo quickly and never once tried to make me stay or say okay i wont be friends with him but u don't leave..


I am so so freaked out of my age 30 years that once in a park i saw young couple (maybe 18 years) holding hands and I found myself being jealous of them..


I can't focus on the things I am good at - writing, music and stuff - and when i force myself to do these things i think- she didn't even value my talents and went off to that jerk who wasn't even good looking but was rich and lived in a metro city (i'm from a small town)..

This is coming in the way of my gaming other girls too. I had sex with other girl post breakup but I couldn't enjoy myself. All the time I kept thinking of how I have downgraded from her and how I used to make love to her and it used to feel amazing and I used to feel like an achiever!

Please help me!


Last edited by akrimony on Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 6:50 am 
Offline
Ask a mod for a custom title
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 1:53 pm
Posts: 5433
Location: Romania
I have a 35 year old friend. He also works in IT, as do I. I don't think I have ever seen him with a girl that's older than 27.

You seem to be going through a midlife crisis. And your relationship was fucked from the very beginning because you're obviously not emotionally equipped to handle this girl.

I never in my life deleted photos of my ex girlfriends off facebook. They're part of my life and erasing it makes no sense, much less so at the demands of current girlfriends. But at the same time I never tried to 'hide' my ongoing relationships.

That said, your demands of her deleting old pictures is absurd and needy at core. But your concerns with her actively refusing to make your relationship public are legit. And that's a red flag on her.
And your biggest mistake was continuing to be with her for the sake of "I'm never gonna find someone better". If you're an "on and off" pua, you should know just how toxic that mindset is.

And you're not "stuck" in a 9-5 in India. Quit playing victim.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 10:52 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:10 pm
Posts: 15
R.C wrote:
I have a 35 year old friend. He also works in IT, as do I. I don't think I have ever seen him with a girl that's older than 27.

You seem to be going through a midlife crisis. And your relationship was fucked from the very beginning because you're obviously not emotionally equipped to handle this girl.

I never in my life deleted photos of my ex girlfriends off facebook. They're part of my life and erasing it makes no sense, much less so at the demands of current girlfriends. But at the same time I never tried to 'hide' my ongoing relationships.

That said, your demands of her deleting old pictures is absurd and needy at core. But your concerns with her actively refusing to make your relationship public are legit. And that's a red flag on her.
And your biggest mistake was continuing to be with her for the sake of "I'm never gonna find someone better". If you're an "on and off" pua, you should know just how toxic that mindset is.

And you're not "stuck" in a 9-5 in India. Quit playing victim.


Thanks man! That hurt but I guess a slap on my face is needed to get out of this shitty attitude. Thanks a ton!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 6:01 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sat Aug 12, 2017 5:10 pm
Posts: 17
Location: India
You clearly acted insecure and trust me we all do. Even I have and worse than you..

But I pick myself up from it..

Gone out learn the world of women and come to a point where I coach men to develop skill set and mind set with women.

You should embrace your mistakes and move on with it..

Take her as a learning lesson and consider as a gift to you..

Here is my 4-step guide to get over AND make the most of a heartbreak:

1. Take your time.

Decide that this time is glorious with great opportunities. Don’t try to beat your time. Accept that this will take time, and decide to spend that time well.
I see in hindsight, there is no way to shortcut the time that is needed to get over a hearbreak. You have to get through it, all by yourself.

2. Feel as much as you are invited to feel.

Don’t ignore the pain, don’t avoid the pain… go right through it.
Life seems to me in many ways about the amount of tension we can fix in ourselves, so go there as much as you can.

3. Share.

Talk with your friends. Write to them. Blurt whatever you are feeling. Share with anyone who wants to listen.
I remember I continued to articulate my feelings, share them with anyone who wanted to listen. People I had never met. It always felt like a relief. Like I was slowly but surely lifting a burden of my shoulder.

4. Use your feelings to create.

Make music, write poetry, write letters, make videos…
The strong feelings have strong creative power.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:11 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 am
Posts: 2490
akrimony wrote:
Then I started noticing that she wouldn't put my pictures on fb but had loads of pics of her ex. I confronted her about this and she said she woudln't remove those pics and put mine after getting engaged or something..(we were planning to get married) ..after shitty fight on this, I called her a "whore" and we broke up. But immediately I learnt that she had begun going out with her bunch of friends that also contained "him".



This is a perfect example of what I mean by men who aren't "emotionally-centered".

One year isn't really a long time, and to demand she post photos of you, and take down old ones of her ex is neurotic behavior.

Quote:
I became beta instantly and called her and we made up and we began being together again but she was clear she wouldn't remove his pics and put mine at a right time.


You still brought it up?

LOL.


Understand that socially valuable women want things to happen organically. They will initiate "the talk", "moving in", and other relationship points when they feel emotionally ready to (this includes posing photos of you online). No amount of you trying to convince them through words will work.



Quote:
We made love in the coming months and it was okay. We just didn't confront each other on that topic and she remained friends with him although with almost no contact.



It sounds like you never really got back together with her, just had sex a few times

Quote:
In march this year, she invited him to her brothers wedding after seeking my "permission". Initially I said okay but when I saw her giving him full attention and introducing me to her college friends and him as "a friend" i freaked out and went away from the party and texted her that I didn't want to see her again.



Like I said in the last reply, after the first breakup, you were never back together again. You were just fuck buddies.

You just didn't realize it. You thought you wee exclusive again. So when she treated you like a fuck buddy ('hey guys, this is my friend"), you lost your shit emotionally, and she ghosted you. Your lack of emotional intelligence, and your insecurity blindsided you in one fateful night, and you lost her.

Make no mistake, she dumped you the first time because you are unable to control your emotions. And she dumped you the second time because you were unable to control your emotions.

See a pattern here?

Take a sticky note, and write this on it:

"Is this a negative, emotional text?" and stick it to your cell phone, and read it before texting women. It's basically training wheels for you until you learn to control your emotions.



Quote:
She emailed me and said you're a psycho and all and some exchanges of similar emails later all ended.

We haven't spoken or seen each other since about 4-5 weeks now.


sounds fun.



Quote:
she never ever said anything to put me above him or to show that she valued me over him which made me sad.


You didn't earn it.

You earn a woman's devotion by doing these things:

1. Great in bed (dominant, giving orgasms).
2. Emotionally-centered (not calling her a whore during a fight, being needy about FB photos, blowing up her phone, losing your cool often, etc).
3. Remaining playful, teasing most of the time.
4. Confident.
5. Fitness.



Quote:
1) i might not be able to find a beautiful girl as her to be my gf, given my age (30 now) and the social environment I'm stuck in (9-5 IT job in India)



Hahaha

I'm in my early 40's and all I fuck are 20-somethings.

Age does not matter for men, fitness and remaining emotionally-centered does.
It's why beautiful models and other young women often prefer older men. 95% of guys are emotionally-retarded, or bad in bed, and young guys are even worse. Most never change.


Quote:
I am so so freaked out of my age 30 years that once in a park i saw young couple (maybe 18 years) holding hands and I found myself being jealous of them..


This is fucking pathetic! Go on some photo tours in India, and watch animals eat each other (India has kick ass wildlife) do man things. fix a car, sand and repair something in your house.

Quote:
I can't focus on the things I am good at - writing, music and stuff


No! That's exactly what you SHOULD be focused on. My god man, write and dive into music, and approach women at bars and restaurants, etc. Forget this girl.



Quote:
This is coming in the way of my gaming other girls too. I had sex with other girl post breakup but I couldn't enjoy myself.




I got dumped by my current gf (who's moving in Friday, god help me) about four months in for being a cold asshole. I went and fucked a few girls during that month, and I did not enjoy it either. The reason is because it's a number's game. Eventually you'll find someone you do enjoy as much. But the odds of it happening very soon are slim.

So just go out there and make yourself available.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link