Extremely mixed signals with girl in a "fragile state"



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Tools & Techniques of Game: Meeting, Attracting and Seducing Women » Relationships


Forum rules


Relationship Subforum Rules

1. Posts about how to get a girlfriend will result in a ban.


2. Posts about your ex-girlfriend will result in a ban.

3. Any other posts not related to your current girlfriend will result in a ban.



Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:08 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:24 pm
Posts: 158
Location: Portugal
Background: I met this girl a couple of weeks ago. We instantly had very strong chemistry – our dates always lasted at least 7-8 hours. We kissed on the first date, and it seemed it was naturally transitioning into relationship territory… talking everyday on the phone, holding hands, etc. You know, the lame stuff haha. At one point she asked me if I “wanted to move forward with this”, to which I replied “yes”.

Last time we were together in my house, she gave me a handjob and I fingered her, as she was a bit reluctant to go into full-fledged sex. I just assumed she wanted to take things slow as her last relationship ended somewhat recently (2 months or something ago).

So last night, we went out and me and her each brought some friends. Naturally, I thought she would not feel comfortable doing the stuff we do alone next to her friends, and I was right. She greeted me with a kiss on the cheek at first, but as the night went on, she become more comfortable and we kissed and generally behaved like we use to.

She went home early because she was tired from working all day. As soon as she got home, she texts me “I’m home. We need to have a talk”. At this time, I was already at home too and so I called her.

Here’s what she had to say: “I like being with you, but I feel like I need to be honest with you. I don’t feel very comfortable with the physical things we do. When we kiss, I don’t feel the way you do because I’m in a fragile state right now.”

When I asked her if it had to do with her last ex, she said “no”, that she is completely over him (although I know her ex plays a part in this situation). I also asked her if she needed time, to which she replied “I don’t know”. She came off as very confused to be honest…

After this “talk”, we talked a bit more like we normally do. She even said next week she had more free time and that we should do something.

So here’s my question: what can I do right now to make things go smoothly? On one hand, I really like this girl, she’s exactly my type and we have a lot in common (especially moral values, which is very rare with me) and I’m willing to take it easy and fight for her. But on the other hand, I can see this going downhill very fast and eventually ending badly… What do you guys think of her behavior?

Cheers!

_________________
"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:52 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 am
Posts: 2539
Portugal.Thy.Man wrote:
We instantly had very strong chemistry – our dates always lasted at least 7-8 hours. We kissed on the first date, and it seemed it was naturally transitioning into relationship territory…


So the chemistry was so awesome, you yapped for 8 fucking hours?

Sounds boring.

Quote:
talking everyday on the phone, holding hands, etc. You know, the lame stuff haha. At one point she asked me if I “wanted to move forward with this”, to which I replied “yes”.


Translation:

"Do you have a dick, Portugal? I'm getting bored, and want to party/fuck. You're not leading like a dominant male."


Quote:
Last time we were together in my house, she gave me a handjob and I fingered her, as she was a bit reluctant to go into full-fledged sex. I just assumed she wanted to take things slow as her last relationship ended somewhat recently (2 months or something ago).


I doubt it.

Quote:
So last night, we went out and me and her each brought some friends.


Why?

Why do men do this? Are you a grown man, or a frat boy bro?



Quote:
She went home early because she was tired from working all day.


Translation: "I don't want to get physical with you. Something you're doing is turning me off."


Quote:
As soon as she got home, she texts me “I’m home. We need to have a talk”. At this time, I was already at home too and so I called her.

Here’s what she had to say: “I like being with you, but I feel like I need to be honest with you. I don’t feel very comfortable with the physical things we do. When we kiss, I don’t feel the way you do because I’m in a fragile state right now.”


She doesn't like what you're doing physically.

Early on, pay attention less to what women say, and more to what they do.

After you kissed, she went home early. She won't let you have sex with her.

Why? IMHO, she doesn't feel safe with you, because you're not acting masculine.


Quote:
When I asked her if it had to do with her last ex, she said “no”, that she is completely over him (although I know her ex plays a part in this situation). I also asked her if she needed time, to which she replied “I don’t know”. She came off as very confused to be honest…


Yes. She's confused because something you are doing is turning her off.

You need to completely stop being her psychiatrist, and not ever worry about her "fragile state". What you need to worry about is showing up and being the best you can be in terms of a potential lover. That means being chill, indifferent, and setting up meets at your home, not going on fucking group dates.

Quote:
After this “talk”, we talked a bit more like we normally do. She even said next week she had more free time and that we should do something.



Cool. What's wrong with that? don't contact her for a week, then invite her over for Netflix.

Quote:
So here’s my question: what can I do right now to make things go smoothly? On one hand, I really like this girl, she’s exactly my type and we have a lot in common (especially moral values, which is very rare with me)


Who gives a fuck about the moral values right now. Does she make you smile? Does she turn you on? Does she make you laugh?

A rigid agenda early on makes you look needy, not casual and fun.


Quote:
and I’m willing to take it easy and fight for her. But on the other hand, I can see this going downhill very fast and eventually ending badly… What do you guys think of her behavior?

Cheers!


I think you're acting needy, and it's pushing her away. Get "relationship" and "moral values" out of your head, because you're projecting that shit onto her.

She pulled back because you aren't acting like an indifferent, chill, fun dominant male. Focus on the moment. Only be fun. Make sure you're a good kisser, lol. Women will pull away or dump you if you're not.

I've got some news for you: Women are not fragile flowers and princesses. They like it dirty. They want fun. They want to catch a buzz, have great sex with lots of orgasms, then lay next to you and have you spill you secrets.

That's it, man. Then we die.

Can you handle the simplicity of science?

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 8:56 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5022
Location: New York City
I wouldn't make too big of a fuss about it to be honest.

Sounds to me like she went home after a night of drinking, and was emotional and confused. Most girls don't know what they want man. Thats why they bounce their ideas off of you to see how you react to see how valid they're feelings are.

Example: When she said this.. if you responding by getting equally emotional and say " But why... Whats wrong? I thought you liked it" - She'll interpret you becoming emotional as she must of hit a nerve, and thus she may have a point with the things that she's feeling and saying.

If you respond.. " Hey, no doubt.. But I think you should get some sleep. We'll talk about this another time. What are you doing this week? " And then just show up and treat her like normal things will work itself out.

Unless she bring it up more than once I wouldn't worry for now. Come back if she tells you this again after you hang out with her a few times.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via Skype, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:27 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:24 pm
Posts: 158
Location: Portugal
Thanks for the answers guys!

Although I don't necessarily agree with everything you said (especially the part about not contacting her for a week, c'mon man, that's gonna get me dumped in a heartbeat), I do you both raised very good points.

I went with her to the beach today. Everything was normal except for the kissing part... she just dodged all my attempts at kissing. And the "mixed signals" situation goes on because then she starts talking about all the places we should go, what days she is free and where I would like to go with her, bla bla...

To me it seems she is trying to have a "boyfriend" who is always by her side but then she is unwilling to give the physical pleasure she knows I want. If that is what this is, I can't just simply stand by and do nothing.

I'm trying not to bring up the subject in the middle of the conversation again, but I need to break this "barrier" she came up with as soon as possible.


Cheers!

_________________
"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:37 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 am
Posts: 2539
Portugal.Thy.Man wrote:
especially the part about not contacting her for a week, c'mon man, that's gonna get me dumped in a heartbeat.


You've already been friend-zoned, lol. It was good advice. This is one of those situations you have to go cold on.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 3:26 pm 
Offline
Ask a mod for a custom title
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 1:53 pm
Posts: 5433
Location: Romania
Portugal.Thy.Man wrote:
Background: I met this girl a couple of weeks ago. We instantly had very strong chemistry – our dates always lasted at least 7-8 hours. We kissed on the first date, and it seemed it was naturally transitioning into relationship territory… talking everyday on the phone, holding hands, etc. You know, the lame stuff haha. At one point she asked me if I “wanted to move forward with this”, to which I replied “yes”.


Guys you need to understand that shit like this is NOT a good thing. Holding hands, talking on the phone every day, spending 7-8 hours together and being asked to move forward within TWO weeks is not a sign that things are going great. It's a gigantic red flag.
This is not normal. This shit is normal for 3 months+ not 10 days. That's when you start considering exclusivity and spending so much time together is not out of the ordinary.

A relationship is a marathon. If you start it with a sprint going at full speed, you may think you're doing great and winning, but in reality, 15 minutes later you'll be out of breath collapsed on the ground.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 6:56 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:24 pm
Posts: 158
Location: Portugal
R.C wrote:
Portugal.Thy.Man wrote:
Background: I met this girl a couple of weeks ago. We instantly had very strong chemistry – our dates always lasted at least 7-8 hours. We kissed on the first date, and it seemed it was naturally transitioning into relationship territory… talking everyday on the phone, holding hands, etc. You know, the lame stuff haha. At one point she asked me if I “wanted to move forward with this”, to which I replied “yes”.


Guys you need to understand that shit like this is NOT a good thing. Holding hands, talking on the phone every day, spending 7-8 hours together and being asked to move forward within TWO weeks is not a sign that things are going great. It's a gigantic red flag.
This is not normal. This shit is normal for 3 months+ not 10 days. That's when you start considering exclusivity and spending so much time together is not out of the ordinary.

A relationship is a marathon. If you start it with a sprint going at full speed, you may think you're doing great and winning, but in reality, 15 minutes later you'll be out of breath collapsed on the ground.


Definitely agree with this. It was too much too early on.

But in this case, what would be your approach? Simply tell her you wanna take things slower or just be patient and let it be sorted out naturally?

Cheers!

_________________
"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:45 am 
Offline
Ask a mod for a custom title
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 1:53 pm
Posts: 5433
Location: Romania
Portugal.Thy.Man wrote:
just be patient and let it be sorted out naturally

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 8 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link