Quote:
She really likes me, but I just stormed into her life about 2 weeks ago. She can't just leave her boyfriend and jump into something with me.
OP you planted the relationship idea into her head. You started talking about "us" when you barely even know this girl, and in doing so you've more or less eliminated her freedom of choice. Leaving her current commitment virtually implies getting into a new one.
That's not how it works.
It takes 2-3 months of dating to get to know another person. Then the idea of an "us" can be taken into account because there's valid grounds to do so. Anything before that is just pressuring and draining.
This is the prime reason why "telling someone how you feel about them" early on is counter productive. Uncertainty breeds attraction. And for all intents and purposes you cannot realistically state you like her, because you don't know her. You like the "idea" of her, and that's different.
So yes, she can't jump into something with you, but you're the one who created a something to jump into.
Quote:
Realistically, she would take it easy, see how things develop and then after some time to make the decision.
Sure, but you took away that option, didn't you?
Quote:
I just don't see her kissing and having sex with me or anyone until she has a boyfriend and gets heated up enough to want me badly.
You think only someone bearing the title of "boyfriend" can get a woman heated up?
Quote:
I wouldn't even want the relationship to start that way.
Yea, see, this is your main, recurring issue.
Quote:
I was thinking of playing the card "you know I like you, but I'm not gonna go head over heels to get you". If she knows I like her, then the ball is in her court.
And to her that will sound like "I like you but I want you to do all the effort because I don't know how".
First, stop telling her you like her. Second, a woman's job is to put herself in a position to be seduced. A man's job is to seduce her.
There's a time and place to put the ball in her court, but it's not now. At this point it will simply add even more pressure.
Quote:
I may be naive, but I really think she needs time. I think it would be rushed and off-putting if tried to full on date her, kiss her, etc.
Time for what? People meet attractive people regularly. She doesn't need time, she needs a reason. She needs to be swept of her feet, excited, intrigued and curious. What she doesn't need is promises of relationships and having that excitement taken away by random confessions or being liked.
Quote:
Maybe I also overstated by using the word "crush". It's not that bad. She's just a really good combination of good looking and my type of personality. We clicked really well. I'm not consumed by her all day. Not yet at least
You don't know her personality. You barely got a glimpse. Aside from that you're already using the word relationship.
Quote:
Agree. But don't you think she'll be receptive only to a certain point? Won't she get an "I have a boyfriend" or "this is too fast" alarm? I just don't think I should treat her same as I would any other single woman.
She literally said she's not taking it seriously. And aside from that, yes, you should treat any "committed" woman as if she were single. In your world it should be you and her, and her boyfriend is a non existing entity, as far as you're concerned.
Quote:
Also, don't forget I want to keep cooperating in the music field with her. Don't want to fuck that up.
If she truly is a professional asset then you shouldn't be thinking about dating her. If however that's just a rationalization to keep being around her then don't use it as a pretext.
OP, the takeaway from all this is firstly, stop telling women how you feel, and secondly, stop using the world "relationship" with what is basically a stranger.
Yeah, people meet, date, see where it goes. That's supposed to be light, fun, enjoyable and freeing. You take away all that when you start spewing your feeling all over them and talking about exclusivity when you haven't even done as much as a kiss.