Confessing to a girl that just broke up (kinda long story)



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 3:51 pm 
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So basically, i have this girl friend of mine. We've known each other for 2 years but we've never been something more than friends. Two weeks ago, she broke up with her bf cause she found out he cheated on her with his ex. He was her "first", so she really became heart broken. A guy saw her on the street while she was crying and he "comforted" her. But turned out, another "i just want your meat wallet" douche. Finally, her ex texted her to go out for a drink to talk. Guess what, he started mumbling that she would be happy if she hadnt broken up with him ("too jealous" she had described him) . So, i was thinking about telling to her that i like her. It may not be the best time to do that, but I can't see her depressed. I don't want to give her the impression that i just want to fuck her like the other dudes, now that she is emotionally vulnerable.


P.S. I liked her even before what happened to her, but I saw her being happy with her bf so I didn't want to be the bitch that tries to get them to break up


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 4:20 pm 
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What kind of friendship do the two of you have? Most of the time when I read an "I have a girl friend for X years" and the guy actually likes the girl, it is one of those lopsided relationships where the guy is responsible for maintaining the friendship. If that is the case with you then she already knows how you feel and there's absolutely, positively nothing that you can do to change the status of what it is already.

If it is a true friendship where the both of you are actual friends that would hang out with each other and do friendship activities, then all you have to do is invite her out one night and flirt with her.

Telling her that you like her is never a good idea when it comes to attraction unless she has already expressed that she likes you. Show her instead.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 5:17 pm 
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JackZero wrote:
What kind of friendship do the two of you have? Most of the time when I read an "I have a girl friend for X years" and the guy actually likes the girl, it is one of those lopsided relationships where the guy is responsible for maintaining the friendship. If that is the case with you then she already knows how you feel and there's absolutely, positively nothing that you can do to change the status of what it is already.

If it is a true friendship where the both of you are actual friends that would hang out with each other and do friendship activities, then all you have to do is invite her out one night and flirt with her.

Telling her that you like her is never a good idea when it comes to attraction unless she has already expressed that she likes you. Show her instead.


I took your advice and asked her for diner tomorrow. Guess I'll have to be sure before i say anything she doesn't even expect. Thank you brother.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 6:20 pm 
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Drikrex wrote:
JackZero wrote:
What kind of friendship do the two of you have? Most of the time when I read an "I have a girl friend for X years" and the guy actually likes the girl, it is one of those lopsided relationships where the guy is responsible for maintaining the friendship. If that is the case with you then she already knows how you feel and there's absolutely, positively nothing that you can do to change the status of what it is already.

If it is a true friendship where the both of you are actual friends that would hang out with each other and do friendship activities, then all you have to do is invite her out one night and flirt with her.

Telling her that you like her is never a good idea when it comes to attraction unless she has already expressed that she likes you. Show her instead.


I took your advice and asked her for diner tomorrow. Guess I'll have to be sure before i say anything she doesn't even expect. Thank you brother.
I think how I wrote my response may have been confusing. When I say show her, I mean lead...don't wait for her to tell you because it's not likely to happen except on rare occasions (unattractive women, when there's a lot of distance and seeing in person is difficult, drunk women, etc...). Waiting for her to say "I like you" isn't going to happen now if it hasn't happened in the last two years. She'll likely move onto the next guy before those words come out of her mouth first.

You need to go on this date, flirt with her, escalate, risk making it uncomfortable because she isn't used to you pushing more than a friendship, and most importantly risk losing the friendship because you want more than that.

Glad to see you ready to make something happen.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 11:17 pm 
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Drikrex wrote:
So, i was thinking about telling to her that i like her.


lol. Ever hear the phrase, "show, don't tell?". If you want to keep attractive women in your life, learn to "show".

Quote:
It may not be the best time to do that, but I can't see her depressed. I don't want to give her the impression that i just want to fuck her like the other dudes, now that she is emotionally vulnerable.



You're lying to yourself. You do want to fuck her. And hiding it will only make you look creepy and weak like most nice guy pleasers.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 1:16 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
You're lying to yourself. You do want to fuck her. And hiding it will only make you look creepy and weak like most nice guy pleasers.
You need to go into how to do this. The reason I say that is because once a girl has categorized you, especially the amount of time that the OP has been, to lay it out there like a bluntly is an absolute turn off. Again, since this is me talking to you I have to point out that I'm not saying that you're right or wrong...it's just vague.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 1:24 am 
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Drikrex wrote:
So basically, i have this girl friend of mine. We've known each other for 2 years but we've never been something more than friends. Two weeks ago, she broke up with her bf cause she found out he cheated on her with his ex. He was her "first", so she really became heart broken. A guy saw her on the street while she was crying and he "comforted" her. But turned out, another "i just want your meat wallet" douche. Finally, her ex texted her to go out for a drink to talk. Guess what, he started mumbling that she would be happy if she hadnt broken up with him ("too jealous" she had described him) . So, i was thinking about telling to her that i like her. It may not be the best time to do that, but I can't see her depressed. I don't want to give her the impression that i just want to fuck her like the other dudes, now that she is emotionally vulnerable.


P.S. I liked her even before what happened to her, but I saw her being happy with her bf so I didn't want to be the bitch that tries to get them to break up


The entire post is trivial beyond trying to elucidate as to why you'd waited 2 years to reveal your true feelings for her. So, why?
And while we can speculate as to the 'why' I'd sooner the answer to this question come from you.

In another vein, this girl is likely grieving the loss of an attachment and as such isn't in any sort of a headspace to contemplate beginning a new relationship. You may be one of the few people she trusts, and provides a sense of safety for her - do you really want to chime in with the "I like you do you like me" thing now?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 7:55 am 
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OP, I don't care if she's depressed, happy, dead, in a relationship or single. Telling a woman you like her will never turn out in your favor.

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