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So a few days ago we were just talking on the phone just talking and asking each other questions. At some point it got sexual and she asked if i would ever consider doing a one night stand if i wasnt in a relationship cause i was a virign until i was with her. She revealed to me that she's had a one night stand before. I knew she about her sexual past with her ex but it really started to bother me for the past few days. During that call she asked if it bothered me. I lied and said no. She told me that she's super loyal and stuff and hope it doesn't change the way I look at her.
I don't see what the problem is, except for the fact you're in a LDR. I'd make it an open one, personally.
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For some reason it really bothers me. I don't know why.
Because you are brainwashed by the puritanical bullshit that still exists across many countries. We all were/are. A nipple during the Super Bowl causes world War III, but you can show people being stabbed on CSI: Omaha.
Also, she's not with you, and you're talking about sex, which is kind of frustrating for a guy. Probably a bunch of different emotions: turned on, jealous, shocked at realizing your princess was not a princess, etc.
Consider it a lesson in growing up and learning that women like sex just as much as guys, and aren't these fairy tale princesses of innocence.
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During that call she also reassured me that sex with me was the best she's ever had.
Jesus, man. I really hope you didn't egg this on, seeking this kind of validation. It's weak as fuck and if you do it enough she'll lose attraction for you.
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Whether this is true or not my mind keeps thinking about her one night stand/stands.
Yeah, because it's hot, lol! There are few things hotter than thinking about a girl you care about acting like a porn star, and having pleasure. It's great.
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I try not to think about it. Today she called me asking if things were okay. She felt that things felt different the past few days between us. It's true, I'm not texting her as much or putting much emotion in the texts.
I feel really bad about this, I can kinda tell she's feeling down about things between us.
You're acting emotionally-uncentered, like a moody bitch. Your girl sounds cool. Get your shit together and be the fun, chill guy, and realize your woman is not a princess, but a horn dog like you.
Take these insecurities you've been feeling, and flip them into sex talk with her, or talk about your fantasies. Turn the negative energy into a positive, mind-opening experience.
This is one of those "evolve" moments where a person moves beyond most people in terms of self-awareness and social/emotional intelligence.
You can be the confused, bummed out guy who lets his feelings control him, or you can channel your emotions into positivity, educate yourself, evolve, and grow.
your choice.