Chief's Guide to Outer Game


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:58 pm 
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Mad post, Chef. Very nice guideline after Newbie Mission :))


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:15 am 
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Absolutely love it. Thank you.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:50 pm 
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Chief wrote:
Text/Phone Game

Do not read this post on Text/Phone Game until you have gotten the hang of using the model detailed in the OP, Managing Expectations, and Lowering ASD. Information overload will hinder your progress.

First things first, in order to initiate contact through a phone you must have the girl's phone number. In reference to the compliance ladder, getting a phone number is actually pretty low on it. You only need as much compliance to get a phone as getting her to accept a hug, and with a lot of girls you don't even need that much. Once you've gone through those first few steps on the compliance ladder, simply asking to exchange contact information will suffice.

There's a rule in business that goes something like "Face to face is always better than a phone call, and a phone call is always better than an email." Business and pickup have many of the same rules, and this one is no exception. Let's say that email and text messaging are on equal level.

Since we are prioritizing face to face interactions, the goal of calling and texting is ultimately arranging a meet up. You cannot fuck her through a phone. Phone sex is unsatisfying and sexting is for teens who hang out at the mall. Leave the children's play to the children.

Keep the texting minimal and at most just use fluff talk to further establish a sexual frame. For example, mass text "Hey sexy" to every attractive girl in your phone. For every girl that replies, just keep it simple and don't try anything but shallow, flirty conversation. There's a very big chance that you could fuck things up over text and a very small chance that you'll actually get anywhere with it, so don't even bother trying to "build attraction" or whatnot here.

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A good general rule to follow when it comes to arranging a meet up is to do it via phone call instead of text. Use text just to check up on girls from time to time to see how they're doing and to tell them (mass text) about parties you're going to and shit like that. If you're too shy to talk about the more important shit (like arranging a meet up) with your voice, too fucking bad. The only way to get over a fear is by doing the thing you fear. You will teach yourself how to be more confident through experience.

It's definitely OK to use phone calls to just shoot the shit and have shallow, flirty conversations, too. In fact, I highly encourage doing so before you try arranging a meet up. It'll get the girl accustomed to just talking to you without any pressure. How do you have a shallow and flirty conversation? Talk about anything while ramping up your sexual state as you would be doing face to face. You'll find the answer while you're in that state. It's like only being able to find the answer to a zen koan only through the state of meditation.

The main key to talking on the phone is to be relaxed, unless you're genuinely excited and pumped up about something. For the sake of simplicity, I'll only talk about being relaxed for phone game in this guide.

Take a deep breath before you call her. Or, if you find it more effective/relaxing to just impulsively call without allowing yourself to think and get nervous about it, do that. What I actually do is to put myself into somewhat of a tired/sleepy state before dialing. I may even yawn before pressing that green button. That pretty much exaggerates my relaxed tone but that's just fine.

Shoot the shit, ask her what she's up to, tell her what you're up to, follow the conversation guide in the OP, etc. Talk about whatever the hell you want to talk about. It doesn't matter. Then, ask her what she's doing on a day that you have time to hang out with her. If she's busy on that day, ask her when she's free to hang out. Ask her if she wants to do something with you. Have a plan. The plan itself it up to you. If she's making herself completely unavailable, you probably needed more work on the previous step of the compliance ladder. It's OK; you can easily go out and meet a dozen more women.

And it really is as simple as that.





Most girls around here are not into talking over the phone... I've tried on a couple.. but would it be okay to ask something along the lines off:

Me:
"so are you one of those girls that is a text guru, or do you phone guru as well?"
-I know this is a lame line but, Something along these lines


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 8:37 pm 
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Thanks a lot Chief. I'm so grateful that you gave this awesome information freely. :twisted:

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 4:05 pm 
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Great post. Most of the stuff I picked up over the years is from Mystery Method / Love Systems. It's cool to read a different perspective. There's a lot of overlap, but it's a different angle.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 6:40 pm 
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Compliance ladders?

Whatever happened to 60's just go for the fucking hands within 3 minutes shindig? Lol...tbh I like your method more...but it's hardly a 'sexual threat' type of method that 60 advocates.


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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 1:18 am 
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As a fresh on the scene... Awsome thread dude...

Read full of info, finally found something to bind it all together and help it flow.

Big ups.


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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 6:57 pm 
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How come this is off sticky? It's the only sticky with concrete advice and a plan.


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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 7:05 am 
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Radar01 wrote:
How come this is off sticky? It's the only sticky with concrete advice and a plan.

I temporarily took the sticky off to make space for a different temporary sticky. We don't want the PUA Lounge to be too cluttered with a bajillion stickies! I'll put it back on in a while.

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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:51 am 
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Quote:
3. Conversation



Before we get to the actual "what to say" portion, there's something you must do on your own.

Sit down and physically write (or type) out a list of qualities that you look for in a woman. If you're too inexperienced to have any idea of what you want in a woman besides "hot," then just make an arbitrary list of personality traits that you THINK would be nice for now.

As an example, here is my list:
* Open-minded
* Adventurous
* Respectful of others
* Caring
* Unselfish
* Compassionate
* Passionate about something
* Feminine
* A little weird in some way
* Openly bisexual
* Likes music and dancing
* Self-aware
* Doesn't hold grudges
* Allows herself to live in the moment
* Not a communist

It's important to have a list of at least 10 qualities. THESE WILL BE YOUR CONVERSATION TOPICS.

The next time you're talking to a woman, screen her for these qualities. Ask her questions that you think will give her an opportunity to demonstrate these qualities to you. For example, if "kind" is on you list, do not ask direct questions like "Are you kind?" Instead, lead the conversation so that she might tell you about a time when she did something kind. This may even give you an opportunity to tell a story from your life, etc. Your list pretty much takes care of the conversation on its own as it keeps generating things to talk about.

As an example, here is something I might say:
(in reference to the "open-minded" and "adventurous" points on my list)
Chief: When's the last time you came here?
Girl: Oh, this is my first time!
Chief: Nice. Do you often go to new places or did your friends have to drag you out here kicking and screaming?
Girl: Haha I actually love going to new places.
Chief: I like you. You're not afraid of new experiences.
Girl: Hell no, I love new experiences!
Chief: Have you ever been to (exciting place)?
...You get the idea.

Bear in mind that you don't have to prepare a script ahead of time. Just know what you're looking for in a woman and trust yourself to generate the appropriate fluff talk when the time comes. If you freeze up while you're actually talking to her, just relax and tell her that you're a little shy and not really used to doing this sort of thing. She'll appreciate the honesty and may even help move the conversation forward if you don't run away with your tail tucked between your legs. If she doesn't, then simply taking a breath and relaxing may help you get over mental blocks. Remember: If you're genuinely curious about her then you'll never run out of stuff to talk about.

As you learn more about women, yourself, and what you want, modify your list accordingly.




How would you transition the conversation? For example, if I want to know if she is outgoing and then later in the conversation I would like to know if she is kind? Basically, transitioning is where I am concerned because sometimes I stay on one topic and I perceive it as dragged out.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 11:41 am 
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Riter wrote:
How would you transition the conversation? For example, if I want to know if she is outgoing and then later in the conversation I would like to know if she is kind? Basically, transitioning is where I am concerned because sometimes I stay on one topic and I perceive it as dragged out.

There is no one right answer to this question. Different PUAs have different conversational styles, and they would all sound different even if they were all to use my basic conversational framework.

For example, Juggler tells people that "the best transition is no transition." In the context of routines, he tells people to not worry about transitioning from routine to routine and just go onto the next one even if it seems abrupt. You can pull this off by jumping from one conversational topic to the next even if it doesn't feel "smooth" as long as you make that YOUR style.

On the other hand, you've got teachers like Mystery telling people about multi-threading - to start talking about one thing, cutting it off in the middle, starting a new topic, cutting it off in the middle, starting a new topic, and so on and so forth. It might be difficult for a man to maintain his sanity with this conversational style, but it is the language of women.

What I like to do is to continue diving deeper and deeper. I might ask a woman one simple, shallow question like where her hometown is or what her dream was when she was a kid, then I'd continue talking about her while steering the conversation in a very emotional direction. Along the way of finding out deeper things about her on the same topic of her childhood dream job, I will likely find out other things about her, ask her things only somewhat related to the main topic but more related to something else, etc. If I were to visually represent how this system of conversational transitions looks, it would probably look like a tree with a shit ton of long branches and heavy roots. It's almost like you're leading her into telling a very interesting story, and you're showing her HOW to tell a story in an interesting way. It might help to look up some resources on effective story-telling. This way should make the two of you feel like things are NOT being dragged out. You're talking about the same topic but you're not talking about the same topic at the same time.

If you're trying to use my style, you'll know that you're doing it right when she's telling you her most intimate secrets.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:26 pm 
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Just read through all of this. Sorry, I skipped ahead when you said not to. But just by reading this thread I'm starting to remember the way I used to be a natural. I did this ladder thing all the time and I always hated texting and even phone calls if they weren't good conversations. I'm going to re-read it now to help it really sink in so sorry if I double post. And thanks a lot, Chief, this is what I needed


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:32 am 
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been reading a lot of your stuff chief and I gotta say, youve converted me to a fan of yours :P


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 5:00 am 
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Had to comment so I can keep track of this thread.

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 8:43 am 
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Quite long but worth reading, dude! This is quite good for those who are starting the game and having some failures in their pick-ups. Well, anyway I learned something new in your post. I wonder how many girls can be hooked up with this! wohoo!


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